The Best Calvin (segment "The Thread) Quotes

Calvin: It's the most dangerous film in the world.

Calvin: [segment "The Thread"] This video is so illegal it has been banned by every country in the world.
JJ: Including Amsterdam.
Calvin: Where you can slap a cop in the face with your penis and they'd say, "Danke".
Baxter: Amsterdam is not a country.
Calvin: Amsterdam's not a country?
JJ: Since when?

Calvin: [segment "The Thread"] We need to April Fools prank him.
JJ: Yeah!
Calvin: Hit him wear it hurts.
JJ: Right square in his balls.
Calvin: No, we got to do something better. We steal his computer and load it full of viruses.
JJ: Where do we get viruses?
Calvin: Ah, duh! Porn sites. Why do you think my computer is so slow? It's full of 'em!

Calvin: [segment "The Thread"] It can make you pull off your own dick!
Baxter: Okay, why would you want to watch it if it would make you pull off your own dick?
Calvin: Because - if you can watch it all the way through, from beginning to end, you're rewarded beyond your wildest dreams - with money and sex and women.
JJ: It's like that movie, "The Ring" but with a good ending.
Calvin: Yeah, and boobs.
JJ: Lots of boobs.
Baxter: So, what's this movie called?
Calvin: Eh, "Movie..."
JJ: "43".
Calvin: "Movie 43".
JJ: "Movie 43".

Baxter: [segment "The Thread"] Did you just try to hit me through your computer screen?
Calvin: Yeah, I did. Why don't you come in here so I can hit you like a real man, pussy.