Top 100 Quotes From Die Hard

John: You'd have made a pretty good cowboy yourself, Hans.
Hans: Oh, yes. What was it you said to me before? "Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker."

- Champagne, sir?
- Yeah, thanks.

- John-Aw, Christ!
- He can fuck this whole thing up!
- What does he think he's doing?
- His job.
- Bullshit. His job's
- 3,000 miles away.
- Without him, we might be able to get out of here.
- Tell that to Takagi.

- in standard cover formation.
- We're all set.
- We're ready.
- Kick ass.
- Go.
- Right.
- Let's do it.

Holly: After all your posturing, all your little speeches, you're nothing but a common thief.
Hans: I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane. And since I'm moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite.

- Tell you what.
- I'll wait in the parking garage.
- You score, you call on the car phone.
- You strike out,
- I'll get you a hotel.
- You're all right, Argyle.
- Just remember that when you sign for the tip.

- Get on the jet to Tokyo and ask the chairman.
- I'm telling you.
- You're just gonna have to kill me.
- Okay.
- We'll do it the hard way.
- Tony, see if you can dispose of that.
- Karl, better check on Heinrich's work.

- We can go any way you want it.
- You can walk out or be carried out, but have no illusions- we are in charge.
- So... decide now, each of you,
- And please remember... we have left nothing to chance.

Gail: Author of "Hostage Terrorist, Terrorist Hostage: A Study in Duality." Dr. Hasseldorf, what can we expect in the next few hours?
Dr. Hasseldorf: Well, Gail, by this time the hostages should be going through the early stages of the Helsinki Syndrome.
Harvey: As in Helsinki, Sweden.
Dr. Hasseldorf: Finland.

Dwayne T. Robinson: I've got a hundred people down here, and they're covered with glass.
John: Glass? Who gives a shit about glass? Who the fuck is this?
Dwayne T. Robinson: This is Deputy Chief of Police, Dwayne T. Robinson, and I am in charge of this situation.
John: Oh, you're in charge? Well, I got some bad news for you *Dwayne*, from up here it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.
Dwayne T. Robinson: You listen to me, you little asshole, I'm...
John: Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, *Dwayne*. Now, you listen to me, jerk-off, if you're not a part of the solution, you're a part of the problem. Quit being a part of the fucking problem and put the other guy back on!

John: [Tying fire hose around his waist] Oh, John, what the fuck are you doing? How the fuck did you get into this shit?

Hans: This time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly.
John: That was Gary Cooper, asshole.

- What about the body that fell out the window?
- Probably some stockbroker-
- Got depressed.
- Let's go.
- Hit your lights.
- Let's go.
- Lights on!

- Nine million terrorists in the world, and I got to kill one with feet smaller than my sister.

Supervisor: [as McClane tries to call up police] Attention, whoever you are, this channel is reserved for emergency calls only.
John: No fucking shit, lady! Does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza?

- Goddamn it!
- # Turn up the heat #
- # It's getting ready to pop ##
- Police under automatic rifle fire at Nakatomi!
- I need back-up assistance now!
- Now, Goddamn it! Now!

- McClane,
- I want a debriefing!
- You got some things... to answer for, mister-
- Ellis' murder, for one thing, property damage, interfering with police business.

- Give them the guard's name and the building code number, and cancel the alarm.
- Then disable the system.
- On what floor did the alarm go off?
- Now, shall we go?
- Nein.

- Call me...
- Roy.
- If you think of anything else, don't you be shy, okay?
- In the meantime, let us do our job.
- They're all yours, Al.

- Blow the roof.
- Karl's up there!
- Blow the roof!
- I promise
- I will never even think... about going up in a tall building again.
- Oh, God, please don't let me die!

Hans: [Seeing the model of Nakatomi Tower in Takagi's office] "And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer." Benefits of a classical education.

- Come home.
- Mrs. McClane.
- How nice to make your acquaintance.
- Everyone to the roof!
- Lock them there.
- Come right back.
- Ah!

Hans: [to Takagi] I'm going to count to three, there will not be a four. Give me the code.

John: [stealing Tony's shoes] Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.

- Know how to use a handgun, Bill?
- I spent a weekend at a combat ranch-
- The guns that shoot red paint.
- Probably seems kind of stupid to you.
- Nope.
- Time for the real thing, Bill.

- Karl, komm!
- Die polizei!
- Die polizei!

- It's okay.
- I'm a cop.
- Trust me.
- I've been doing this for 11 years.
- On behalf of the captain and crew, we'd like to welcome you to Los Angeles.
- Have a very Merry Christmas.

- Oh, how you doing?
- No relation.
- I'm, uh...
- I'm Dwayne Robinson,
- L.A.P.D.
- I'm in charge here.
- Not anymore.

- Good evening.
- I'm here to see
- Holly McClane.
- Just type it in there.
- Cute toy.
- If you have to take a leak, it finds your zipper.

- Come out to the coast!
- We'll get together, have a few laughs.
- Now I know what a TV dinner feels like.
- Such!

Sergeant: I shot a kid. He was 13 years old. Ohhh, it was dark, I couldn't see him. He had a ray gun, looked real enough. You know, when you're a rookie, they can teach you everything about bein' a cop except how to live with a mistake. Anyway, I just couldn't bring myself to draw my gun on anybody again.

- So Kareem rebounds, right?
- Feeds Worthy on the break, over to A.C., to Magic, then back to Worthy, right?
- Boom!
- Two points!
- We're in.

- Who's driving this car?
- Stevie Wonder?
- I see a guard inside.
- I'm going in for a closer look.
- Use caution.
- Eddie?
- I had a feelin' you'd be callin'.

Sergeant: [about McClane] In fact, I think he's a cop. Maybe not LAPD, but he's definitely a badge.
Dwayne T. Robinson: How do you know that?
Sergeant: A hunch, things he said. Like being able to spot a phony ID.
Dwayne T. Robinson: Jesus Christ, Powell, he could be a fucking bartender for all we know.

John: So that's is what this is about, Hans? A fucking robbery?
Hans: Put down the gun.
John: Why'd you have to nuke the whole building, Hans?
Hans: Well, when you steal $600, you can just disappear. When you steal 600 million, they will find you, unless they think you're already dead.

Hans: [Reading what McClane wrote on the dead terrorist's shirt] "Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho."

- Girls.
- Shit! Where the fuck?

- Karl.
- Shoot the glass!

- What, are you embarrassed?
- A token of appreciation for her hard work.
- It's a Rolex.
- I'm sure
- I'll see it later.
- Is there a place where I could wash up?
- Sure.

- # La da da da da da daaa! #
- # Da da daaa! ##
- Ha ha ha!

- I read the article in Forbes.
- Mr. Takagi,
- I could talk about industrialization and men's fashions all day, but I'm afraid work must intrude, and my associate here has some questions for you.
- Sort of fill-in-the-blanks questions, actually.

- I interviewed him, for God's sake.
- ...Nakatomi.
- Repeat.
- Officer needs assistance at-
- I'm at Nakatomi Plaza. They're turning my car into Swiss cheese!
- I need back-up assistance now!
- Now, Goddamn it! Now!

- Excuse me.
- Hi.
- Um, Mr. Takagi is looking for you.
- He wants you to say something to the troops.
- Speech time.
- Be back in a few minutes.

- It's going to go!
- Yes!

- Christ.
- I can stall them but not if they hear gunshots.
- If you lock him in, he'll be neutralized-

- Enough jokes.
- You'd have made... a good cowboy yourself, Hans.
- Oh, yeah.
- What was it you said to me before?
- Yippee-kai-yay, motherfucker.

- Something about a double-cross.
- Tell me about it.
- We are both professionals.
- This is personal.
- Ah...
- Aagh!

- McClane, I have some news for you.
- McClane.
- Ah!
- Aah!
- Come on! Move!
- Come on!

- and when to pray.
- Jesus Christ!
- You're coming in.
- I told you what kind of people they are.
- Let's load them up.
- Blue go.
- They'll be coming.
- Everyone get ready.
- Theo, you are the eyes now.

- you should be more polite.
- Yaah!
- Oh!
- Going to kill you!
- I'm going to fucking cook you!
- Going to fucking eat you!

- It's the same address as that fire signal.
- I'll handle it.
- Attention, whoever you are, this channel is reserved for emergencies.
- No shit, lady!
- I'm not ordering a pizza!

- Freeze, Motherfucker!
- Don't shoot!
- Drop it!
- Okay! Don't shoot!
- Drop it!
- Ah!

- Rivers, begin your reconnoiter.
- Shit!
- Hey, come on, man.
- Let's go.
- Ow!Jesus!

- He's in the elevator shaft.
- Perfect.
- The elevators are locked off.
- Just shut him in and come back down.
- Oh, fuck.
- Karl, the police are probably... on their way already.

Hans: [during a shootout with McClane, who is barefoot] Karl, schieß dem Fenster
[sic]
Hans: [Karl gives Hans a puzzled look. Exasperated, Hans repeats it in English] *Shoot* the *glass!*

- Have I ever lied to you?
- My boss?
- Thinks I'm on my way to Vegas.
- Uli, get up on the pipes.
- Marco, you go through here.
- I'll throw you the cord.
- Hans, we're on the roof.

Hans: [Hans' radio turns on] I thought I told all of you, I want radio silence until further...
John: Ooooh, I'm very sorry Hans. I didn't get that message. Maybe you should've put it on the bulletin board. I figured since I've waxed Tony and Marco and his friend here, I figured you and Karl and Franco might be a little lonely, so I wanted to give you a call.
Karl: How does he know so much about th...
Hans: [silences Karl him with a gesture] That's very kind of you. I assume you are our mysterious party crasher. You are most troublesome, for a security guard.
John: Eeeh! Sorry Hans, wrong guess. Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change?
[speaking to dead man about cigarettes]
John: Whoa, these are very bad for you.
Hans: Who are you then?
John: Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the ass.

- This is radio, not television.
- Hans, he's not my friend!
- I don't know him!
- Jesus, Ellis!
- They'll kill you!
- Tell them you don't know me!
- How can you say that after all these years?
- John? John?

- making fists with your toes.
- Fists with your toes?
- It sounds crazy, but I've been doing it for nine years.
- Better than a shower and a cup of coffee.
- Okay.

- Shit!
- Think. Think.

John: [fighting Karl] You motherfucker, I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna fuckin' cook you, and I'm gonna fucking eat you!

- Oh! All right!
- Uli.
- Hey!
- Hey!
- Hang on, baby.
- Hang on, honey.
- Oh, God.

- Oh, my God!
- The quarterback is toast!
- Hang on, Rivers.
- That's an order.
- Hit it again.
- Hans, you motherfucker! You made your point! Let them pull back!
- Thank you, Mr. Cowboy. I'll take it under advisement. Hit it again!
- Thank you, Mr. Cowboy. I'll take it under advisement. Hit it again!

Harry: Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash. Hey, sprechen ze talk, huh?

John: [McClane watches fire trucks approach the building] C'mon baby, come ta' papa, I'll kiss ya' fuckin' dalmatian!

- in negotiable bearer bonds... that you have locked in your vault.
- And the computer controls the vault.
- You want money?
- What kind of terrorists are you?
- Who said we were terrorists?

Hans: [Hans uses McClane's gun and says something in an uninterpreted German on his CB Radio] Put down the gun, and give me my detonators.
John: Well, well, well... Hans.
Hans: Put it down now.
John: That's pretty tricky with that accent. You oughta be on fucking TV with that accent. But what do you want with the detonators, Hans? I already used all the explosives. Or did I?
Hans: I'm going to count to three...
John: Yeah, like you did with Takagi?
John: [Hans pulls trigger] Ooops.
[Hans pulls the trigger a few times more]
John: No more bullets. What do you think, I'm fucking stupid, Hans?
Hans: [elevator opens] You were saying?

- Jesus Christ!
- Rivers, Rodriguez, report.
- Whoa! Wait a minute.
- What have we here, gentlemen?
- The police have themselves an RV.
- Southeast corner.

- Must have burned down the whole building.
- Over here.
- It's a better angle.
- Let's give them...
- Keep it going, now.
- Keep it going.
- Come on.
- We're going to miss it!
- Okay.
- Hand me my notes!

Holly: I have a request.
Hans: What idiot put you in charge?
Holly: You did.
[Hans looks at her]
Holly: When you murdered my boss. Now everybody's looking to me. Personally, I'd pass on the job. I don't enjoy being this close to you.
[long pause]
Hans: Go on.
Holly: We have a pregnant woman out there.
[Hans looks disturbed]
Holly: Relax. She's not due for a couple of weeks. Sitting on that rock isn't doing her back any good, so I would like permission to move her to one of the office where there's a sofa.
Hans: No, but I'll have a sofa brought out to you. Good enough?
Holly: Good enough, and unless you like it messy, I'd start bringing us in groups to the bathroom.
Hans: Yes... you're right, it will be done.

John: [John is fighting Karl] You should have heard your brother squeal when I broke his fucking neck!

- Come on, folks.
- What was it like in there?
- How did they treat you?

- Merry Christmas.
- Those bastards are probably pissing in their pants.
- The mayor will have my ass.
- Woo!

- Yes, we do.
- Tell Karl his brother is dead.
- Tell him to come down.
- Karl... komm sofort.
- Franco,you and Fritz take the body upstairs and out of sight.
- I don't want the hostages to think too much.

- Yeah, Argyle?
- How's it going up there?
- All right.
- Where are you?
- What's the word with you and your lady?
- Uh, the vote's not in yet.
- Nein! Nein! Nein!

Dwayne T. Robinson: Did you hear that? He just let the guy die, man. He just gave him up. Gimme that headset. That's like pullin' the trigger yourself.
Sergeant: Christ, man. Can't you see what's happening? Can't you read between the lines?
Dwayne T. Robinson: Cold. This on the right channel?
Cop: Yes, sir.
Sergeant: He did everything he could to save him. If he gave himself up, they'd both be dead right now.
Dwayne T. Robinson: Oh, no way, man, no way. They'd be talking to us. Listen, you tell this partner of yours, Powell, to stay the hell out of this from now on, do you hear me? Because, if he doesn't, I'm gonna nail him, boy. I'm really gonna nail his ass, now, believe me.
Sergeant: The man is hurting! He is alone, tired, and he hasn't seen diddly-squat from anybody down here. Now you're gonna stand there and tell me that he's gonna give a damn about what you do to him, *if* he makes it out of there alive? Why don't you wake up and smell what you shoveling?
Dwayne T. Robinson: You listen to me, Sergeant. Any time you wanna go home, you consider yourself dismissed.
Sergeant: No, sir. You couldn't drag me away.

John: Welcome to the party, pal!

- You do understand... the circuits cannot be cut locally.
- Trust me.
- Why the fuck didn't you stop him,John?
- 'Cause then you'd be dead, too, asshole!
- Think, goddamn it!
- Think!

John: Geronimo, Motherfucker!

- since they installed this system.
- Notre Dame on top of USC-
- Ah, shit!
- I got 50 bucks bet on them assholes.
- Come on, come on.
- Where's the fucking cavalry?
- Ah!

- That was great,John.
- Good job.
- Very mature.

Joseph: You want money? What kind of terrorists are you?
Hans: [Chuckling] Who said we were terrorists?

John: [while crawling through a narrow ventilation shaft] Now I know what a TV dinner feels like.

- Vice chairman,
- Nakatomi Investment Group.
- Enough.
- And father of five.
- I am Takagi.
- How do you do?
- It's a pleasure to meet you.

- Oh!
- California.

- Oh, baby, come to Papa.
- Come on.
- Come on, baby.
- Come to Papa.
- I'll kiss your fuckin'dalmatian.
- You stupid motherfuckers!
- No!
- Turn the fuckin' truck around!

Hans: [on the radio] Mr. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?
John: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.
Hans: Uh, no, I'm afraid not. But, you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?
John: Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really like those sequined shirts.
Hans: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
John: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

- Ah.
- How do you do?

John: Son of a bitch! Fist with your toes.

- Why?
- A hunch, things he said, like being able to spot a phony I.D.
- Jesus Christ, Powell. He could be a fucking bartender for all we know!
- TV's here.
- Oh, shit.

- Links... rechts... und wieder links.
- Son of a bitch.
- Fists with your toes.

- Holly!
- Happy trails, Hans.
- Aah!
- Holly.
- Aah!

Hans: When they touch down, we'll blow the roof, they'll spend a month sifting through rubble, and by the time they figure out what went wrong, we'll be sitting on a beach, earning twenty percent.

Dwayne T. Robinson: We're gonna need some more FBI guys, I guess.

- Just McClane's name, badge number, employment record, vital statistics, and his family's home address, right here in L.A.
- Woo!
- Go to work.
- You got it.

- And if you're not one of them-
- I'm a cop from New York.
- New York?
- Yeah. Got invited to the Christmas party by mistake.
- Who knew?
- Well, it's better than being caught with your pants down, huh?

- Well, he probably just didn't have time... before his flight.
- Um, make up the spare bedroom... just in case.
- Si, Mrs. Holly.
- I do that already.
- What would I do without you, Paulina?

John: Who's driving this car, Stevie Wonder?

- What do you figure the breakage?
- We take out the terrorists, lose 20, 25% of the hostages... tops.
- I can live with that.
- Get this thing on the deck.
- They're expecting transports, not gun ships.

John: Happy trails, Hans.