The Best Duffman Quotes

Moe: I say we greet these newcomers with open arms... and gouge them for all they're worth! Who's with me?
Comic: I'm in for some gouging.
Duffman: Duffman is commited to the corporate support of gouging!

Duffman: Are you ready for some Duff love?

Duffman: Hey, Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar love Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman.
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die. Only the actors who play him.
[thrusting his hips]
Duffman: Oh, yeah!
Moe: Ah, you must be here for the, uh, Duff trivia challenge.
Duffman: That's right, local distributor. One of you could win a lifetime supply of Duff.
[one of his bikini girls hands him an envelope]
Duffman: Okay, chug-monkeys. "What beverage brewed since ancient times is made from hops and grains?"
Lenny: How about "Ancient Hop Grain Juice"?
Homer: [trying to speak] Beer! Beer! Beer!
Moe: Wait, wait, wait. Homer's trying to make a guess.
Homer: Beer! Beer! Beer!
Moe: [Homer turns on one of his taps] What are you doing? You're getting some kind of booze all over me.
[Homer wails in despair]
Duffman: [blowing an air horn] Time's up. The answer is... "beer." Ooh, Duff luck.
Carl: I never would have figured that out.
Lenny: That's the kind of thing you just gotta know.
[Homer sobs into his hands]