Top 50 Quotes From Harley Quinn

Dr. Psycho: So who do you need me to mind-control to open the door?
Harley: No, no. No one. Just squeeze into the crawlspace, get into the house, and open it from the inside.
Dr. Psycho: Are you shitting me? I'm a genius telepath! Why're you wasting me on THIS?
Harley: You're the only thing small enough to fit!
Dr. Psycho: Got it. Sonofabitch!

Batgirl: Yeesh. Did you kill just him to contradict me?
Harley: I like killing assholes. Don't read into it.

Harley: If I can't fuck up Ivy's wedding, no one can!

Harley: He broke every promise he ever made!
Sharon: And he apologized for that and made a whole bunch of new ones.

Harley: So I am going to lie very high!

Harley: I haven't told you, I'm losing my mind.
Poison: Honey, you're always losing your mind.

Harley: Will you be paying this copay now or later?
Little: Rich people's insurance doesn't have copay.
Harley: Ugh! This country's so fucked up.

Catwoman: Are you always this impetuous?
Harley: Give me a dictionary, and I'll tell you.

Poison: Did you know that this party was for children?
Harley: I do now.

Harley: I got Two-Face!
Poison: I got Scarecrow!
Kite: [he's got Bane] I, uh... oh dear God.

Harley: Running sucks!

Poison: First of all, I care about the environment. Okay, I don't know what about that makes me a bad guy.
Harley: Yeah, says the girl who dissolved the head of Ace Chemicals in a bath of his own herbicide.
Poison: Best birthday ever.

Poison: I don't understand your obsession with the Legion of Doom. They are actual pieces of shit.
Harley: Obviously! But those pieces of shit were the only people Joker respected. I'll never match up to him unless I'm in the Legion too.
Harley: So let me get this straight: you're not over your ex, and you want to throw your success in his face.
Harley: Exactly!
Poison: I think that might be the most relatable thing you ever said.

Harley: [as Robin] Holy post-traumatic stress disorder, Batman!

Queen: You fucked up, Harley
Harley: You know, I do a lot of that, so you're going to have to be more specific.

Harley: Who's disrespecting you? I will kill them!
Poison: Oh, that's so sweet.

Harley: The power of senseless violence.

Bane: Is your card... the three of clubs?
Harley: No.
Bane: Fuck.

Harley: My teeth are chattering so hard, it's like I'm chewing on cruise control.

Harley: Y'know, you grow up to have a savior complex. Who do you think you are? You don't sound like "Bruce Wayne" there. You sound like...
[gasps]
Harley: Holy shit! You're...
Little: I am Batman.
[flash of lightning as the Danny Elfman Batman theme plays]
Harley: [gasps] How could Bruce be Batman? I mean, sure, he's the richest man in Gotham, so that explains all the vehicles, and he goes missing at big galas when villains show up. Okay, come to think of it, it's very obvious.
Little: Wait till you hear who Superman is!

Harley: Hold on to your barf bags. We're goin' to Apokolips!

Harley: [seeing her past self lick "Mister J"] Ugh, get a room. And some self-esteem.

Harley: All right, everybody, back in the tank. If you need to pee, now's your's chance.

Harley: Let's not judge a lawyer by the fact he's a bat.

Clayface: [referring to Thomas Wayne] Any minute, he'll walk into Crime Alley, and then so, too, will his murderer.
Harley: Right. It's Joe Cool.
Poison: No, that's Joe Chill. "Joe Cool" is when Snoopy wears those, like, sunglasses and pretends to be a college student.
Dr. Psycho: I thought "Joe Cool" was the camel that sold cigarettes to children.
Poison: No, that's Joe Camel. And he doesn't...
[offscreen, Thomas and Martha are killed]
Dr. Psycho: Great. We missed it. Now they're dead. Too busy arguing about fuckin' Snoopy.

Little: I don't trust clowns with secrets.
Harley: I am barely clown-themed anymore. I just think I look hot like this. I mean, check out how hot these booty shorts make my ass look, right?
[beat]
Harley: Never mind. You're eight.

Harley: Ohh, now I've got smashing blue balls.
[breaks a nearby bust]
Harley: . Ahh, now I can get on with my day.

Harley: I sometimes can't get over the fact that Ivy has sex with you.
Kite: Oh. She does.

Harley: I just want one fucking beignet!

Harley: Robin's lying. Why would I fight a kid? I want a nemesis with some HAIR ON THEIR CHEST!
Poison: Hmmm, well that rules out Batman. Catwoman says he waxes everything.

Harley: I'm really sorry, Ivy! Kite Man will come around, he always does!
Poison: Yeah, but you know what? I won't! I mean, he's right! I've been denying a lot of myself for a long time! I guess, I guess it seemed easier for me to just go along with it, you know? And now I realize I hurt a lot of people delaying the inevitable!
Harley: Well, people change!
Poison: Yeah! Yeah, people DO change! I mean look at you, what you did for me today! You... you showed me the Harley I always wanted to see, you know?
Harley: You... you don't think I'm chaotic, crazy and make a bunch of messes?
Poison: No, you definitely do that. But you're trying to grow, and actually doing it! And that... I mean, for me, that is what matters!
Harley: I love you, Ives!
Poison: [smiles] I love you too, Harles.

Harley: What? It's an ice flue. You know I can't resist alcohol being poured down an icy surface.
Poison: No, I did not know that.

Harley: Wait, do androids piss?

Poison: Okay, let's do this!
Kite: Hell NO!
Poison: What?
Kite: I should have known the third time I proposed, every step in our relationship I've had to do over, and over, and OVER! And-and-and I'm not... after all of this, I am NOT redoing my wedding!
Poison: Don't... don't you want to marry me?
Kite: Of course I do! But you don't! I saw your face during the vows, and I knew your heart wasn't in it. I may be simple, but I'm not a fool. It is hard for me to finally admit it, but since you refused to, I will. I'm not the person for you!
Poison: No... ah, shit...
Kite: Like you said, Ivy, I deserve the best.
[Kite Man flies off]

Harley: [dressed as Robin, to her past self] You're disgusting, all this destruction and mayhem for what? Do you really like that?
Harley: [past] Mister J likes that. Whatever he likes, I like.
Harley: [present] Ugh! And the accent. Oh my god, girl, ease it down.
Harley: [past] Who do you think you are?
Harley: [present] Not you. Not anymore.
Harley: [past] I think Robin has lost his marbles.
Harley: [present] Some day, you'll get with the love of your life and you'll see how foolish you've been all those years!
The: Too bad you'll miss the wedding!
Harley: [present] We haven't talked about marriage yet!
Batman: [arriving on his plane] Put me down for the fish!
The: You're not supposed to order the fish. They just put it on the menu to not seem cheap.

Harley: It's a bird, it's a plane. It's motherfucking Harley Quinn!

Harley: Always a white billionaire coming to a group of Himalayan monk-ninjas and forcing them to train him. What a dickhead.

Harley: [spits on Harvey Dent] Fuck off, Two-Face!

Poison: Oh, wait a second. Is this the one that you got from Halloween when you tried to go as Wonder Wolf-man and no one got it?
Harley: I was a wolf wearing a Wonder Woman suit. It made perfect fucking sense.

Harley: You should know that your rage is making your forehead wrinkles pop!
[Clayface looks in a mirror and sees it's true]
Clayface: Don't look at me!
[covers his face and runs away]

Harley: Come on! Let's have sex in your baby!

Harley: Who is pumped for the best VD ever? I mean, ugh, look, you know what I meant.

Harley: Dammit! How is a girl supposed to plan her takeover of Gotham if she can't see her kill board!

Harley: The Mother Box: my favorite means of intergalactic transportation and body part.

Harley: Okay, Marry, Fuck, Kill: Kite Man, Mr. Freeze, Joker.
Poison: Yeah, the first one is my fiance, so, duh. And then, the other two are dead and one of them is your dead ex-boyfriend. So, gross and duh.

Harley: Listen up, goons.
Hench: Excuse me, I identify as a hench.

Harley: This is what I've always wanted, Ivy. Anarchy and sushi.

Harley: [driving] Where's the exit?
Poison: Oh, for the shit of shits! This is why I didn't want to get married here, the parking lot is a damn maze!

Harley: Everyone into the ice vagina. Let's go kill Mr. Freeze!

[Aquaman breaks a fish tank in a fight, causing the fish to splash all over the floor]
Bane: Aquaman, I am stomping on your fish! Stomping!
Aquaman: BANE, STOP IT!
[Aquaman picks up as much sealife as he can]
Harley: Hey, there's a YMCA pool down the street!
Aquaman: Oh, yeah, yeah! "Just throw saltwater fish into a chlorinated pool! Water's water, I guess!" Come on! What are you, four?