The Best Paul Hartman Quotes

Emmett: There's something I wanna point out to Aunt Bee before you give it to her, though. I got a list here. When it cuckoos 3 times, it's 2 o'clock, and 3 o'clock it'll sing it out 5 times, and 4 o'clock it'll cuckoo twice. You memorize this list, you'll have no trouble at all.

Emmett: It doesn't have to be ranch mink. Wherever they grow up is okay with me.

Goober: Andy, I suppose there's changes in every man's life, huh?
Andy: Oh, well...
Goober: I mean in his business life. Things ain't supposed to stay the same.
Andy: Oh, oh, oh, well no. I mean right here. Floyd decides he's got enough money and wants to retire, Emmett moves right in.
Emmett: Yup, I decided to stop operating in my own house and move right here in the midtown!

Andy: What about the squad car?
Emmett: Well, we'll be able to tell more about it when they get it back on the wheels.

Goober: Are you sayin' I don't like music?
Emmett: I didn't say that.
Goober: Well, you better not.
Emmett: You may like music as much as I do.
Goober: Watch your step.
Emmett: Oh, yeah? Did you ever hear the Raleigh Philharmonic?
Goober: I been busy.

Andy: You graduated from Bradbury, didn't you?
Howard: Oh yeah, took the full year and a half course.
Emmett: You know who else graduated from Bradbury? Cyrus Whitley. He's now doin' 5 years in prison for embezzlement. He probably learned to embezzle in college.

Emmett: I think it's a man's duty to serve when he's called.
Goober: Well who called you?