Top 30 Quotes From Swiss Army Man

Hank: Buses are for people who don't know each other.

Hank: Hello, world! My name is Hank Thompson, and I've been stranded out on an island in the Pacific all alone! And this man... this man saved me from the brink of death when he allowed me to ride him like a jet ski, propelled by his f...

Manny: [getting a boner] Oh, God, I'm disgusting.
Hank: No-no. No-no-no. You're not disgusting.
Manny: No, my body is disgusting. It's horrible!

Manny: So this is it. This is the life I've forgotten.

Manny: I'm scared 'cause I think if I die I might really miss you.
Hank: Oh you're the worst.

Hank: Manny I think your penis is guiding us home.

Hank: How do you expect anyone to want to talk to you if you sound retarded? I sound like my dad.

[last lines]
Sarah: What the fuck?

Manny: Hey buddy!

Manny: And so now when you masturbate you think about your mom?

Hank: Back in civilization, there's seven billion other living people on the planet just running around and blinking and breathing and eating, and you used to be one of them. You were probably just looking for happiness. That's what everyone does.
Hank: [turning up the corners of Manny's mouth] This is what you look like when you're happy.
Manny: Happy.
Hank: You look for someone who will make you happy - a friend, a girlfriend or a dog.
[arf arf]
Hank: Good boy.
Manny: Good boy.
Hank: Sometimes you might be lucky enough to bump into the one person you want to spend the rest of your life with - and that is love.

Hank: You're the grossest thing in this gross world.

Manny: Thoughts like, if my best friend keeps his farts from me, what else is he hiding from me, and why does that thought make me feel so alone?

Hank: What's important is you remembering your life.
Manny: Okay. What is life?

Hank: I mean, before the Internet, every girl was a lot more special.

Hank: You just seemed really happy, and I wasn't.

Manny: I have a lot of questions about all the things you just said.

Hank: Maybe that's just something the brain invents to survive.
Manny: Yeah. Like maybe your brain invented me to distract you from the fact that eventually your eyes are gonna stop blinking and your mouth will stop chewing and your blood'll stop pumping... and then you're gonna shit yourself, and that's it.
Hank: No. No, that's not it. Because then my organs are going to shit themselves.
Manny: And then your cells will shit themselves, and then all your shit's gonna get mixed in with everyone else's shit till there's nothing left of you, and then that's it.
Hank: I don't know, man. That sounds kind of nice, everyone's shit mixing, because then someday some of your shit is gonna meet up with some of my shit, and we'll have something to look forward to, you know?
Manny: You're disgusting.

Hank: I'm scared of whatever took that poop.
Manny: But why, though?
Hank: Because only huge, scary things take poops that big.
Manny: So what? Everything poops.
Hank: Yes, but if it finds us, it will eat us and push us out its butt and turn us into poop.

Hank: I'm sorry, I... I thought you were dead.
Manny: Am I dead?
Hank: I don't think so. You're talking.

Manny: Sarah, do you ever masturbate?
Hank: What?
Manny: I have this friend called Hank, and he won't masturbate 'cause it makes him think about his mom.
Hank: Manny. That... that was between us.

Hank: You're a miracle or... or I'm just hallucinating from starvation.

Manny: Is this crying? I don't like it. It's wet and uncomfortable.

Hank: Poop is when your body takes everything it doesn't want and squeezes it out your butt.

Hank: Manny, if you don't know Jurassic Park, you don't know shit.

Manny: What is Netflix?

Manny: Hank, when I masturbate, I'm gonna think about your mom.

Hank: We sang, and we danced...
Sarah: Oh, my God.
Hank: ...and it was beautiful.

Hank: Let' have a party.
Manny: Yeah, let's invite everyone we know.

Hank: Because I'm just a scared, ugly, useless person.
Manny: But maybe everyone's a little bit ugly. And maybe we're all just ugly, dying sacks of shit, and maybe all it'll take is one person to just be okay with that, and then the whole world will be dancing and singing and farting, and everyone will feel a little bit less alone.
Hank: Manny, you have no idea how nice that sounds.