The Best Thénardier Quotes

Thénardier: Everybody raise a glass!
Madame: Raise it up the master's arse!

Thénardier: What to do? What to say? Shall you carry our little treasure away? What a gem! What a pearl! Beyond rubies is our little girl. How can we speak of debt? Let's not haggle for darling Colette.
Madame: [whispering] Cosette.
Thénardier: [correcting himself] Cosette.

Madame: [to male customer] I used to dream that I would meet a prince, but God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
Thénardier: [defensive as others stare at him] What? What?
Madame: Master of the house isn't worth my spit. Comforter, philosopher, and life-long shit. Cunning little brain; regular Voltaire. Thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there.
[All stare at his crotch]
Madame: [pretending to cry] What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse.
[She takes the man's purse while he's distracted]
Madame: [suddenly cheering up] God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!

Thénardier: Jean Valjean - the old con. You pay up and I'll say where he's gone.
Marius: [handing Thénardier money] Not so loud! Here's for you. God forgive us the things that we do.
Madame: How's about some extra on a day so glad. Our little orphan girl, she hasn't done so bad. Raised in a convent, cash to spare - we want our share.
Thénardier: [Marius hands over yet more money to Madame Thénardier] Quite the little nun, ain't she!
Marius: [Marius punches Thénardier across the face. He falls through a door. Marius bends down to Thénardier who is almost unconscious] Where is he?
Thénardier: [cowardly] The convent.

Madame: Wait a bit! Know that face! Ain't the world a remarkable place!
Thénardier: Men like me don't forget. You're the bastard that borrowed Colette!
Madame: Cosette!
Thénardier: Whatever.
Jean: What is this? Are you mad? No, Monsieur, you don't know what you say!
Thénardier: You know me! I know you!
Madame: And you pay what you due!
Thénardier: And you'll better dig deep!
Madame: Grr, she doesn't come cheap!
Thénardier: Brujon!
Éponine: It's the police! Disappear! Run for it! It's Javert!

Javert: Another brawl in the square, another stink in the air. Was there a witness to this? Well, let him speak to Javert. Monsieur, these streets are not safe. We'll let these vermin beware, we'll see that justice is done. Look upon this fine collection, grown from underneath a stone. This swarm of worms and maggots would have picked you to the bone. I know this man over here, I know his name and his trade and on your witness, monsieur, I'll see him suitably paid. But where's the gentleman gone, and why on earth would he run?
Thénardier: You'll have a job to find him. He's not all he seems to be. And that girl he trails behind him is the child he stole from me.
Madame: Yeah, and me.
Thénardier: Yeah, both of us.
Javert: Could it be he's that old jailbird, that the tide now washes in? Heard my name and started running, all the omens point to him.
Thénardier: In the... absence of a victim, dear inspector, may I go? And remember when you've knicked him, it was me what told you so.
Javert: Let the old man keep on running, I will run him off his feet. Everyone about your business, clear this garbage off the street.

Thénardier: Make for the sewers! Get underground! Leave her to me, Don't wait around! You wait, my girl! You'll rue this night! I'll make you scream! You'll scream all right!