20 Best Walter Simmons Quotes

Walter: Hey.
Jesse: Hey.
Walter: Gang's all here.
Calleigh: Did your John Doe come through here?
Jesse: Yeah. This is, uh, where he met the guy that shot at him with the flare gun.
Calleigh: All right, so at some point, all three of our victims passed through here. Do you recognize this girl?
Jesse: Or him?
Walter: How about this guy?
Ricky: Hundreds of people party here every day, every night, man. It gets crazy. I don't remember those two guys, but it doesn't mean they weren't here. But her? Her, I remember.
Calleigh: Really? Why?
Ricky: She was a pain in my ass. Out-of-her-mind drunk; had to give her the boot.

Ryan: Okay, here she is. 24 years old, and she graduated summa cum laude from Vanderbilt University.
Walter: What? What woman with a degree from the Harvard of the South cleans houses?
Ryan: It's a tough job market.

Ryan: What is that?
Walter: Looks like some kind of sandwich baggie.
Ryan: I thought it was heat that burnt the ropes, but really it was the acid that came from that sandwich bag.
Walter: Dilute the acid. Take at least a couple hours to burn through the plastic. We're looking at a poor man's timing device.
Ryan: I think we need to figure out who packed that chute.

Walter: You take the swamp. I'll take the rocks.
Ryan: Can't. Got the nice shoes on today.
Walter: I got that allergy, so... so... I'll take the rocks, you take the swamp.
Ryan: All right.
[Then he thinks about what just happened as Walter waves happily on his way towards the rocks]

Calleigh: Hey, Walter, what are you doing here?
Walter: Hey. My vic partied here. Had a VIP bracelet from this spot.
Ricky: Great. More cops.
Walter: Mr. Cooperative here is Ricky Halpern. Club bouncer.
Frank: Ricky! Just the guy we were looking for. We got one of your prints in our investigation.
Ricky: Mine?
Frank: Uh-huh. Does your boss know you're a felon?

Horatio: Do we have an ID yet, Doctor?
Dr. Tom Loman: None that I found. I sent photos upstairs to Missing Persons, but I've heard nary a word from them. I did find something that I can't blame on the pipe that perforated his abdomen. On the periphery of the wound, there are second- and third-degree burns. And on the remains pulled from the pipe, I found some kind of residue, which I sent to Trace.
Horatio: Okay, what did they find?
Dr. Tom Loman: Strontium, magnesium, potassium, and sulfur.
Horatio: Components of a flare.
Dr. Tom Loman: Yes. A-As strange as it sounds, I think he was shot with a flare gun.
Walter: So much for suicide.
Dr. Tom Loman: [picking up a petri dish] And... there's this.
Walter: Is that glass?
Dr. Tom Loman: Tempered, to be precise.
Horatio: So, gentlemen, there was a window between our shooter and our victim. Gentlemen, we're looking for a broken window at the Ciel Bleu Hotel.

Walter: What the hell are you doing with a flare gun?
Dean: I drove my dad's car here from Michigan. He's got a boat. He left it in the car. I-I grabbed it for kicks and giggles. You know, in case I wanted to start an impromptu fireworks show.
Walter: But instead, you shot a guy through the window.
Dean: Sh-shot a guy? Uh, no, no, I-I didn't shoot anyone.
Horatio: You just said you discharged the weapon.
Dean: I shot *at* him, I didn't hit him.
Horatio: Okay. I... I have a body down at the morgue that begs to differ.

[while searching for evidence, Ryan and Walter come face to face with a brown bear]
Ryan: You need to make yourself small and non threatening
Walter: I *can't* make myself small and non threatening!
Ryan: Well, then, you just need to outrun the bear
Walter: I don't need to outrun the bear - I just need to outrun you!

Walter: [as a suspect begins to drone on] Is this going somewhere, or should I brew some tea?

Calleigh: [after Walter tells her where the eyeball should be] All right, let's start there.
Walter: [Shaking his head] Uh, no. I'm going to let you handle that one. Eyeballs are like my kryptonite!
Calleigh: [Big teasing smile] Good to know.

Walter: I remember spring break; Daytona Beach. It's a miracle I survived. Get drunk and crazy... for what? To end up like this? Unless you think it was suicide.
Dr. Tom Loman: Good aim. Or bad, depending on how you want to look at it.

Walter: Nothing spills blood like money.

Ryan: Hey, Walter, when are you and I going up?
Walter: Up? Up where?
Ryan: Up in an airplane. When are we gonna jump out of an airplane together?
Walter: No. No, no, no.
Ryan: No?
Walter: No. No, the parachute is made for when the plane is crashing. You see, jumping out of a good one is just stupid.
Ryan: Oh, you're being such a baby. You know, statistically, it's actually pretty safe.
Walter: Let's ask Kevin how safe it is. Kevin! Kev... Oh, right, Kevin's dead.
Ryan: Walter, too soon.

Walter: So, our vic fell off the roof first? Then, on his way down, was accidentally hit by the flare Dean shot. Man, that's something out of an urban legend.
Horatio: The force of the flare altered trajectory and impaled our victim.
Walter: Wow. Well, Dean couldn't have planned this. And if he was in his room, then he couldn't have pushed our victim. The murder is his alibi.
Horatio: Note the footprints, Walter.
Walter: [looking closer] Huh. Heels to the edge. Jumpers don't jump backwards.
Horatio: No, they don't. He was pushed.
Walter: [looking around] Look at this. Looks like our victim and the killer might have been having a party up here.
Horatio: I agree. So let's see who got invited.

Jesse: [Introducing himself to Walter] Yeah, I'm Jesse.
Walter: You're a Die Hard.
Jesse: What?
Walter: Die Hard. That's what we call you on the night shift because of what you did in that hostage situation.
Jesse: Yeah well, the night shift has too much time on their hands.

Walter: [after Ryan has explained the room as a Bookie's office] Damn, Wolfe, you know a lot about this.
Ryan: Yeah, I know too much about it.
[Shrugging it off]
Ryan: But, that's in the past.
Walter: Enough said.

Walter: [running a crime scene reconstruction] Not even close, H. Dummy cleared the building by five feet. And he's at least twenty feet from where the body landed.
Horatio: He was shot in the chest, so he wasn't running away from the shooter, was he?
Walter: Right, so if his horizontal speed can't increase, then his vertical distance has to.
Horatio: Maybe he fell from a higher height.
Walter: So, what are you thinking? Go floor by floor?
Horatio: Nope. I've got a better idea.
[on the roof a few minutes later]
Horatio: Here he comes, Walter.
Walter: [measuring the distance as the dummy lands] It's about four feet short, H.
Horatio: Well, that's a problem, Walter. I'm running out of real estate up here.

Walter: Suspect description, same as the Bal Harbor robbery, H - devil mask, a TEC-9 automatic.
Lieutenant: So it's him again, isn't, Walter?
Walter: Yup. Makes it what, ten big games that he's hit so far? Wonder how much he got away with this time. One, maybe two million? Huh... All right, so the chandelier must have gotten hit when the robber opened fire. Dropped on this poor bastard who picked the wrong seat, crushing him to death.
Lieutenant: Maybe not, Walter. That's a bullet hole.
Walter: Look at that. Sure is. Glass from the broken chandelier bulbs inside the wound means that he was shot before the chandelier fell on him.
Lieutenant: Collateral damage from the shooting.
Walter: Guy's never shot anybody before, H. He's making mistakes.
Lieutenant: Yes, he is, Walter. And we all pay for our mistakes.

Walter: Hey, we're missing something. H, you read me?
Horatio: Walter, how far away from the building did the flare kick out the dummy?
Walter: Five feet.
Horatio: Five feet. That could make up the difference.
Walter: Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Horatio: Walter, he was never in the room. Come on up here, please.

Dean: I had a bunch of people up here partying last night. We were all hanging out, having fun, but this one guy starts going crazy; he's throwing drinks everywhere, getting in everyone's faces. I told him to get out, but he wouldn't. I just... I just wanted to scare him.
Walter: By shooting at him with a flare gun?
Horatio: [showing him a picture from the morgue] That the man?
Dean: No. No, I've-I've never seen him before. I promise. Look, this whole thing's just a big misunderstanding.
Horatio: Be that as it may, you're coming with us.
Walter: [a patrol officer leads Butler away] He's lying, H. That story's got holes in it as big as the one in our vic's chest.
Horatio: I agree, Walter. So let's prove it.