The Best Aunt Jet Quotes

Aunt: There's a little witch in all of us.

Aunt: Gillian, Sally. The only curse in this family is sitting there at the end of the table. Your Aunt Fanny.

[all drunk]
Gillian: You southern shrew!
Aunt: Ingrate!
Aunt: Goodie two shoes!
Sally: WITCH!

[making margaritas]
Aunt: Eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog.
Aunt: Adder's fork and blindworm's sting...
Aunt: Barbados lime is just the thing.
Aunt: Cragged salt like a sailor's stubble!
Aunt: Flip the switch and let the cauldron bubble!

Aunt: Be careful what you wish for.

Sally: [after Michael's death; brings the spell book out] You brought him into my life and now I want you to bring him back. Bring him back! I have never asked you for anything. I've never asked you for spells but do this. I know you can bring him back.
Aunt: No, dear. We won't do that.
Aunt: We don't do that.
Sally: But you can. You can do this. I know you can. I remember. I found it here when mommy and daddy died.
Aunt: Even if we did bring him back, it wouldn't be Michael. It would be something else. Something dark and unnatural.
Sally: [Starts crying] I don't care what he comes back as. As long he comes back. Please do this for me. Please? Please? Please? Please?

Aunt: [about Jimmy] We have to banish him.
Aunt: We have to force his spirit back into the grave.
Aunt: We need a full coven.
Aunt: Nine women. Twelve's better.
Aunt: [to Sally] Do you have any friends?
Sally: [Cut to the Kitchen, Sally on the phone] Linda! Hi, it's Sally. I'm activating the phone tree. Look, uh, you know the - the stuff that everyone's always whispering about me... the hexes, the spells, the...? Well, here's the thing. Uh... I'm witch!

Aunt: And this is what comes from dabbling; I mean you can't practice witchcraft while you look down your nose at it.

Aunt: You see that couple here? Well, he's having an affair with the babysitter and she can eat a pound cake in under a minute.

Sally: And I don't want them dancing naked under the full moon!
Aunt: No, of course. The nudity is entirely optional. As you well remember!

Aunt: [to young Sally and Gillian] That's how you came to live with us. We tucked you into our lives then. We've raised you the best way we know how.
Aunt: In this house we have chocolate cake for breakfast. We never bother with silly things like bedtimes or brushing our teeth.
Aunt: But with the sweets comes the sour...
Aunt: So when you find yourself the center of attention... It's not that they hate you. It's that, well... We're different.