The Best Burt Berendsen Quotes

Burt: You got flat arches. You couldn't serve. We understand.

Burt: You call your husband "general"?
Mrs. Dillenbeck: Only on the weekdays.
Burt: What do you call him on weekends?
Mrs. Dillenbeck: That's a very personal question.

Detective: You know why I'm here Burt. You and Woodman fled the scene after you pushed the Meekins woman under a truck.
Burt: Why would you possibly think that was us?
Detective: Well there's not too many people that fit the description of a doctor looking for his eye on the ground with his black attorney.

Burt: What happened to the pact? I lost an eye here!

- That's why I love you.
- Did you fall?
- Did you hurt your back?
- Let me take a look at it.
Burt: My back has been killing me all day.
- This is not the right time.
Beatrice: Just a glimpse.
- Come on.

- Officer: Stop!
- Stop!
- Man 3: Cowards!
Burt: That poor girl. Oh, god.
- Man 4: Come on. Let's go.
- Man 5: Behind those cars!

Burt: At least you found love, even if you can't get it. I've never been lucky enough to even know what the hell it is.

Burt: I stayed in Amsterdam for a while, because it was glorious there. He was steady and strong. She was bold and luminous. It was what the French called a coup de foudre. Love at first sight.

Burt: [Putting pain-killing drops in his eye] My back is killing me. Usually guys like me turn to booze, or drugs, which leads to addiction
[the eye drops take effect]
Burt: WOW! That's fast.

- Hope to see you on the other side of the argonne in good shape.
- God be with you.
Burt: Lsaved Harold he saved me.
- And there was this French lady saving both of us.

Harold: The place looks the same; smells of mothballs, like your marriage.
Burt: Thanks, pal.
Harold: What are friends for, if not honesty?

Burt: Another war? But we just did all that!

Burt: I've done two autopsies my whole life, one to prove I didn't leave a clamp on someone's small intestine and the other to remove a clamp I *did* leave on someone's small intestine.
Burt: Now we know you're good with small intestines, Burt. Thank you.

Burt: Each one of us is given a tapestry, our own opera. This person and this person. Thinking about it... love is not enough. You got to fight to protect kindness. You get attached to people and things. And they might just break your heart... but that's being alive.

Irma St. Clair: Harold says you deserve a better circumstance, but you allowed yourself to be corrupted. He says you followed the wrong God home.
Burt: What? Corrupted? Followed the wrong God home? Why doesn't he say that to me? What does that even mean?
Irma St. Clair: I don't know. Maybe you spend enthusiasms and urgencies you didn't know you were wasting until it was too late. You ended up without a chair by the time the music ends, even in your own home.

Burt: [narrating] You want for your heart and for your people to follow the right God home.

- My name is dr Burt berendsen.
- This is Harold woodman, esquire, medal of honour recipient.
Harold: It's the Croix de guerre, not the medal of honour, and you know that.
Burt: Croix de guerre, yes.
- Sorry.

Burt: She was brilliant and nuts, but she was our kind of nuts. And so the pact now had three.

- I'll be seeing you in your office pretty soon.
Burt: Yes.
- But it's a bad situation.
- It's very bad.
- Well, that was exciting.
- Go and get your things, but don't get killed on the way home.

[first lines]
Burt: [narrating] I was working in my office on 138th Street. Mostly fixing up banged-up guys, like myself, from the Great War. All from injuries the world was happy to forget. Fixing faces, lifting spirits, singing songs. I left my eye in France.
[an eyeball plunks into a glass of water]