The Best Christmas Bloody Christmas Quotes

- Hello? Hello, is anyone there?
- Dispatch, I'm at the fuckin' police station.
- I need your help.
- Hello? Someone fuckin' answer me, please.
- Fuck!

- Fuck!
- Fuck!
- Fuck!

- Hello? Hello?
- Can anybody hear me?
- Everybody's fucking dead!
- Please, someone, please!
- Fuck! Okay.
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Yes, come on! Come on!
- Yes! Yes!
- Ah!

- Oh!
- Okay, go.
- Go, come on, let's go!
Robbie: I'm trying!
- Oh, oh!
- Okay, okay! Fucking drive!

- Oh. Fuck, fuck!
- Fuck me.
- Damn it.
- Jesus.
- That's fucked.

- And pour Tori and her new Beau.
- Oh, thanks, man.
- One and one for yourself, Larry.
- I didn't know you two were a thing.
- We're not.
- Yet.
- Get fucked.
Lahna: Ah, yeah!

- Fuck you!
- No! No! No!
- No! No!
- No, no! No!

- Man: Freddy, that better not be you.
- If you're opening those gifts,
- I swear to god.
- Hey, you know what happens if I come down there.

- Hello? Oh, fuck!
- Fuck.

- Okay.
- No, no, no, no!
- No!

- Drop the weapon!
- Now!
- Hey!
- Don't come any closer!
- Kill this motherfucker!
- Drop the weapon now!

- Really?
- Yeah.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
- Come kill the fucking bottle.
- I said come over for a drink, not over for a fuck.
- Well, it sounds like someone's hankering for a little bit of...
- You hear that?
- Hear what?

- Hey!
- Come on, fuck you!
- Oh, no, wait!
- No! No!
- Aah!
- Oh, fuck!

- anywhere to go, do we?
- Okay, hang on.
Mike: All right, I got the keys.
- Shh!
- Look, I didn't even want to come here in the first...
- Shut the fuck up, Mike.
- Shut the fuck up.

- Jesus.
- Feel that between my pants.
- We're going to have to roll this up the hill ourselves.
- Alright.
- Whoa. Jesus fucking Christ.
- I don't feel safe.
- What are you... okay.
- She's road worthy.
- Don't even worry about it.
Tori: Okay! Here we go.

- Bear with us.
- We'll do the same.
- Just breathe.
- Okay, I'm going to brew a fresh pot of coffee.
- There's a bathroom down the hall if you want to clean yourself up some.

- I got you.
- Oh, Robbie.
- I got you.
- Oh, Robbie. Robbie!
- It's okay, it's okay. Don't look at him. Don't look at him.
- Okay, stay calm.
- Help is on the way, alright?
- It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be fi... watch your head.

Sheriff: [to Tori and Robbie] I didn't know you two were a thing.
Tori: We're not.
Robbie: Yet.
Tori: Get fucked.

- Okay, okay, okay.
- Uh...
- Hello?
- Hello?
- Fuck!

- Yeah, because I'm a completist.
- Thank you.
- Not for metallica.
- Shut up.
- Follow... get that fucking thing away from me.
- Okay.
- I'm weirdly turned on by this.
- Really?
- But I need you to stop.

- You were like pissing on a playground.
- I didn't know the kid was going to show up like that.
- Oh, fuck, and the kid was his grandson.
- Yeah, I made him a man.
- That's fucked.
- You took that away from him.
- I know.
- You took it away him.

- Oh, Santa claus?
- Yeah, it's fuckin' Santa claus.
- Fuckin' Santa claus!
- It's the motherfucker that killed everybody.
- Okay, okay, uh...
- Oh, fuck.
- He's not stopping.
- Fuck!

- Somebody help!
- Do you want to keep drinking, or...?
- I mean, yeah.
- What are you thinking?
- What am I thinking?
- Yeah.

[ Laughing ] Fuck it.
- Man: Freddy?
- Freddy, is that you, buddy?
- Said we weren't gonna open or touch any of these gifts till Santa got...
- Get the fuck out of my house.
- I'm calling the cops right now.
- Oh, shit!

- You need to do a fucking drive by!
- More people are gonna die!
- Once everything...
- Once everything is all right,
- I can go back and do a check.
- More people are gonna fucking die!
- Calm down.
- Shoot him! Fucking shoot him!

- Wait.
- Oh, king shit.

- a full range of motion, and built with military grade construction, robosanta plus fully replaces your local degenerate mall Santa, keeping you and your children safe.
- Exclusively this weekend at midland mall and gw bonkers.

- Come on. Come on.
- Come on! No, no, no!
- Come on!
- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, come on!
- Come on! Fuck you!
- Oh, fuck!

- Oh, fuck!
- Fuck!
- Fuck you! No!

- -Shut the fuck up.
- No, no, I am like,
- I am a gal with fucking strong opinions.
- And now we're going to take a shot to
- "book of" motherfuckin' "shadows" because it's so good.
- Ah.

- Frankie!
- Oh, what the fuck?
- That was...
- Unexpected.
- Too bad find out about that earlier.
- Yeah, it's too bad.

- Are you out of your fucking mind?
- Give me your fucking gun.
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Hey, do you even know how to use that thing?
Tori: Yeah. You aim is and pull the fucking trigger.
- Yeah?
- Let's go.

- Fuck you!
- No! No!
- No!
- What the fuck?! Fuck!
- Fuck you!

- Jay hitting that pipe.
- Yeah, he's hitting that fucking pipe.
- Speaking of, have you seen it?
- Yeah, it's fucking fat as fuck.
- It's fat.
- Oh, he be gaping that shit for sure.

- Davies?
- Davies? Davies, get the fuck up!
- Hey! Oh, you fuckin' idiot!
- Come on!
- Get up!
- Behind you!
- No, no, no, no, no!

- Mommy?
- You okay?
- Santa?
- Where's mommy?
- Did you bring me any good presents?
- You did!

- Oh, fuck.
- Oh, fuck!
- Call the fucking cops now.
- Come on.
- Fuck. Have you seen my phone?
- Fuck! Get my phone!
- It's upstairs.
- Shit. Is your phone down here?
- Robbie, go! Find a phone!