Top 50 Quotes From Christoph Waltz

Dr. King Schultz: How do you like the bounty hunting business?
Django: Kill white folks and they pay you for it? What's not to like?

Dr. King Schultz: I wish to parley with you.
Dicky: Speak English.
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, I'm sorry, please forgive me. it *is* a second language.

Dr. Dyson Ido: You've been given a chance to start over with a clean slate. How many of us get that?

Calvin: Dr. Schultz, in Greenville, you yourself said that for the right nigger you'd be willing to pay what some may consider is a ridiculous amount. To which me myself said "What is your definition of ridiculous?" To which you said "$12,000." Now, considering y'all have ridden a whole lot of miles...
[Candie aggressively grabs Broomhilda's head, she whimpers as Django looks on intensively]
Calvin: ... went through a whole lot of trouble...
[Candie continues holding Broomhilda's head, and starts rubbing her face]
Calvin: ... and done spread a whole lot of bull to purchase this lovely lady right here, it would appear that Broomhilda is in fact the right nigger. And if y'all wanna leave Candyland with Broomhilda, the price... is $12,000.
Dr. King Schultz: And I take it you prefer the take it or leave it style of negotiation?
Calvin: [Candie lets go of Broomhila's head] Yes, I do, Doctor. You see, under the laws of Chickasaw County, Broomhilda, here, is my property... and I can choose to do with MY PROPERTY... WHATEVER I SO DESIRE!
[Candie rubs his injured hand and smears the blood all over Broomhilda's face; she shrieks and moans in disgust and fear]
Calvin: And if y'all think my price for this nigger here is too steep, what I'm gonna desire to do is...
[Candie causally sets his cigarette down; he suddenly but quickly picks up his hammer and violently grabs hold of Broomhilda's hair, slamming her face on the dinner table and raising the hammer above her head. Schultz jumps while Django rises up out of his seat]
Calvin: TAKE THIS GODDAMNED HAMMER HERE, AND BEAT HER ASS TO DEATH WITH IT! RIGHT IN FRONT OF BOTH YA'LL! THEN WE CAN EXAMINE THE THREE DIMPLES INSIDE BROOMHILDA'S SKULL! NOW... WHAT'S IT GONNA BE DOC? HUH? WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE?
Dr. King Schultz: [Screams back nervously] May I lift my hands off the table in order to remove my billfold?
Calvin: YES, you may!
[Schultz quickly retrieves his wallet out of his pocket and tosses it on the table; Stephen grabs it and starts counting the money]
Stephen: [Nods to Calvin with the cash] That twelve.
[Candie greedily smiles as Stephen drops the cash in front of him]
Calvin: [Lets go of Broomhilda's head and slams the hammer loudly on the table] SOLD... TO THE MAN WITH EXCEPTIONAL BEARD, AND HIS UNEXCEPTIONAL NIGGER!

Dr. King Schultz: Oh, Monsieur Candie, you can't imagine what it's like not to hear your mother tongue in four years.
Calvin: Well hell, I can't imagine two weeks in Boston!
Stephen: [laughs out loud] "Two weeks in Boston!" Monsieur Candie, you a mess!

Big: Uh, Betina?
Betina: Yes sir, Big Daddy?
Big: Uh...
[to Schultz]
Big: What's your Jimmie's name again?
Dr. King Schultz: Django.
Big: Django!
[to Betina]
Big: Betina, sugar, could you take Django there and take him around the grounds here and show him all the pretty stuff?
Betina: As you please, Big Daddy!
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, Mr. Bennett, I must remind you, Django is a free man. He cannot be treated like a slave. He... within the boundaries of good taste, he must be treated as an extension of myself.
Big: Understood. Betina, sugar?
Betina: Yes?
Big: Django isn't a slave. Django is a free man. You understand?
[Betina pauses]
Big: You can't treat him like any of the other niggers around here, 'cause he ain't like any of the other nigger around here. Ya got it?
Betina: You mean, you want me to actually treat him like white folks?
Big: No, that's not what I said!
Betina: Then I don't know what you want, Big Daddy!
Big: Yes, I can see that. Uh, what's the name of that peckerwood boy from town that works with the glass? His momma work at the lumberyard...
Big: Oh, you mean Jerry?
Big: That's the boy's name, Jerry!
[to Betina]
Big: You know Jerry, don't ya, sugar?
Betina: Yes, Big Daddy.
Big: Well, that's it then! Just treat him like you would Jerry!

Dusan: Friends tell friends the truth. Okay, maybe sometimes I'm a little bit asshole, but the world needs assholes. Otherwise where would shit go out.

Col. Hans Landa: May I smoke my pipe as well?
Perrier: Please, Colonel, make yourself at home.
[Hans pulls out a very large pipe five times the size of Perrier's]

Dr. King Schultz: And as if on cue, here comes the sheriff!
Sheriff: [Comes in tavern] Okay, boys, fun's over! Come on out.
[Bill Sharp leads Schultz and Django outside while an anxious crowd watches]
Sheriff: Alright folks, calm down! Go about your business. The jokers will be gone soon.
[Turns to Schultz and Django]
Sheriff: Now, why do ya'll wanna come into my town and start trouble? And scare all of these nice people? You ain't got nothing better to do than to come into Bill Sharp's town and show your ass-!
[Dr. Schultz suddenly raises his derringer and shoots the sheriff in the stomach]

Blofeld: Do you know what it is?
Madeleine: It's a meteorite.
Blofeld: Yes, exactly. The Kartenhoff, the oldest in human possession. The very meteorite which made this crater. Think about it: so many years up there, alone, silent, building momentum until it chose to make its mark on Earth. A huge unstoppable force.
James: Except it did stop, didn't it? Right here.

Dr. King Schultz: Mister Candie, normally I would say "Auf wiedersehen," but since what "auf wiedersehen" actually means is "'till I see you again", and since I never wish to see you again, to you, sir, I say goodbye!
[Dr. Schultz turns around to leave with Django and Broomhilda]
Calvin: [Candie sulks in his library chair for a brief moment as he watches Schultz walk out. He then raises his hand to stop the doctor] Hmm! One more moment, Doctor!
Dr. King Schultz: [stops and faces Candie] What?
Calvin: [Candie raises out of his chair] It's a custom here in the South once a business deal is concluded that the two parties shake hands. It implies good faith...
Dr. King Schultz: I'm not from the South...
[Schultz turns again]
Calvin: But you are in my house, Doctor! So, I'm afraid I must insist...
Dr. King Schultz: Insist? On what? That I shake your hand?
[pause]
Dr. King Schultz: Then I'm afraid I must insist in the opposite direction!
Calvin: [Calvin walks closer to the German doctor] You know what I think you are?
Dr. King Schultz: What you think I am? No, I don't!
Calvin: I think you are a bad loser!
Dr. King Schultz: And I think you're an abysmal winner!
Calvin: Never the less, here in Chickasaw County, a deal ain't done till the two parties have shook hands. Even after all that paper signin', don't mean shit you don't shake my hand.
Dr. King Schultz: And if I don't shake your hand, you're gonna throw away $12,000? I don't think so!
Calvin: Mr. Pooch, if she tries to leave here before this nigger-loving German shakes my hand, you cut her ass down!
[Butch turns around to Broomhilda and clicks his gun. Django stands in front of Broomhilda to protect her in case she gets shot; he looks at Schultz. Dr. Schultz glares back at Django with an angry look on his face]
Dr. King Schultz: [Dr. Schultz turns back at Candie] You REALLY want me to shake your hand?
Calvin: [Candie holds out his hand and smirks] I insist!
Dr. King Schultz: Oh, if you insist...
[Schultz smiles and walks up to Candie, pretending to willfully shake his hand; he instead raises a tiny gun hidden under his sleeve and shoots Candie in the chest]

Alita: Why did an enemy warship...
[points to herself]
Alita: respond to me? Because I knew that ship! I've been on others like it, havent I? Haven't I?
Dr. Dyson Ido: Whatever you were, it's not who you are now.
Alita: [slams her fists on a metal table] NO! I'm a warrior aren't I? And you know. You've always known.

Dr. King Schultz: [aiming .45-70 rifle at fleeing Ellis Brittle] You sure that's him?
Django: Yeah.
Dr. King Schultz: Positive?
Django: I don't know.
Dr. King Schultz: You don't know if you're positive?
Django: I don't know what 'positive' means.
Dr. King Schultz: It means you're sure.
Django: Yes.
Dr. King Schultz: Yes, what?
Django: Yes, I'm sure that's Ellis Brittle.
[Schultz shoots Brittle off his horse]
Django: I'm positive he dead.

Col. Hans Landa: [to Aldo] So you're "Aldo the Apache".
Lt. Aldo Raine: So you're "the Jew Hunter".
Col. Hans Landa: A detective. A damn good dectective. Finding people is my specialty so naturally I work for the Nazis finding people, and yes some of them were Jews. But "Jew Hunter"?
Col. Hans Landa: [reacts in disgust] It's just a name that stuck.
Pfc. Smithson Utivich: Well, you do have to admit, it is catchy.
Col. Hans Landa: Do you control the nicknames your enemies bestow on you? "Aldo the Apache" and "the Little Man"?
Pfc. Smithson Utivich: [confused] What do you mean "the Little Man"?
Col. Hans Landa: Germans' nickname for you.
Pfc. Smithson Utivich: The Germans' nickname for me is "the Little Man"?
Col. Hans Landa: And as if to make my point, I'm a little surprised how tall you were in real life. I mean, you're a little fellow, but not circus-midget little, as your reputation would suggest.

Blofeld: The things that bring people together. Out of horror, beauty.

Dr. King Schultz: Do most slaves believe in marriage?
Django: Oh, me and wife did. Old Man Carrucan didn't. That's why we, uh, we run off.
Old: [During Django's flashback when he was a slave on the Carrucan plantation] Django... Django... Django... You got sand, Django. Boy's got sand! I got no use for a nigger with sand.
[Django, with a metal collar around his neck and face, looks on]
Old: I want you to burn a runaway "R" right here on his cheek, and the girl, too.
[Django groans]
Old: And I want you to take them to the Greenville auction and sell them. Both of them... separately.
[Django looks at Old Man Carrucan with rage]
Old: And this one... you will sell him cheap!

Blofeld: Torture is easy, on a superficial level. A man can watch himself being disemboweled and derive great horror from the experience, but it's still going on at a distance. It isn't taking place where it is. As you know all too well, dear Madeleine, a man lives inside his head. That's where the seed of his soul is. James and I were both present recently when a man was deprived of his eyes and the most astonishing thing happened, didn't you notice? He wasn't there anymore. He had gone even though he was still alive, so this brief moment between life and death, there was nobody inside his skull. Most odd.

Dr. King Schultz: You silver tongued devil, you.

[first lines]
Captain: Mr. Rom.
Leon: [looking up at stone] Opar! We found it.
Belgian: Captain Moulle?
Captain: Form your lines...
Belgian: [the machine gun is rolled forward] Maxim ready, sir!
Captain: Steady... Wait... Fire!

Blofeld: [about C] He's a visionary, like me.
James: Visionaries... Psychiatric wards are full of them.

Blofeld: Goodbye, James Bond.

Blofeld: Cuckoo.

Col. Hans Landa: I did have something else I wanted to ask you, but right now, for the life of me, I can't remember what it is. Oh, well, must not have been important. Till tonight.
[He leaves. Shosanna lets out an emotional sigh of relief and starts crying]

Calvin: [to Django] So, bright boy, Moguy tells me you looked over my African flesh and you was none too impressed, huh?
Django: Not for top dollar.
Calvin: Well, then, we got nothing more to talk about. You see, you want to buy a beat ass nigger from me, those are the beat ass niggers I want to sell, so...
Django: He don't wanna buy the niggers you wanna sell. He wants the nigger you don't wanna sell.
Calvin: Well, I don't sell the niggers I don't wanna sell.
Dr. King Schultz: Well, you won't sell your best. You won't even sell your second best, but your third best? You don't wanna sell either, but if I made you an offer so ridiculous, you'd be forced to consider it?
[laughs]
Dr. King Schultz: Who knows what could happen?
Calvin: And what do you consider "ridiculous?"
Dr. King Schultz: For a truly talented specimen, the right nigger? How much would you say, Django?
Django: ...12,000 dollars.
Calvin: Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, now you have my attention.

Blofeld: James, you gave up everything for her. When her secret finds its way out, and it will, it'll be the death of you.

Calvin: White cake?
Dr. King Schultz: I don't go in for sweets, thank you.
Calvin: Are you brooding 'bout me getting the best of ya, huh?
Dr. King Schultz: Actually, I was thinking of that poor devil you fed to the dogs today, D'Artagnan. And I was wondering what Dumas would make of all this.
Calvin: Come again?
Dr. King Schultz: Alexander Dumas. He wrote "The Three Musketeers." I figured you must be an admirer. You named your slave after his novel's lead character. If Alexander Dumas had been there today, I wonder what he would have made of it?
Calvin: You doubt he'd approve?
Dr. King Schultz: Yes. His approval would be a dubious proposition at best.
Calvin: Soft hearted Frenchy?
Dr. King Schultz: Alexander Dumas is black.

Col. Hans Landa: Monsieur LaPadite, are you aware of the nickname the people of France have given me?
Perrier: I have no interest in such things.
Col. Hans Landa: But you're aware of what they call me?
Perrier: I'm aware.
Col. Hans Landa: What are you aware of?
Perrier: That they call you "The Jew Hunter".
Col. Hans Landa: Precisely! I understand your trepidation in repeating it. Heydrich apparently hates the moniker the good people of Prague have bestowed on him. Actually, why he would hate the name "hangman" is baffling to me. It would appear he has done everything in his power to earn it. I, on the other hand, love my unofficial title, precisely BECAUSE I've earned it.

Count: You may have no strings, but I control you.

Col. Hans Landa: What a tremendously hostile world that a rat must endure. Yet not only does he survive, he thrives. Because our little foe has an instinct for survival and preservation second to none... And that, Monsieur, is what a Jew shares with a rat.

Dr. King Schultz: [in disbelief] Let me get this straight: Your slave wife speaks German and her name is Broomhilda von Schaft?
Django: Yep.

Blofeld: Why did you come?
James: I came here to kill you.
Blofeld: And I thought you came here to die.
James: Well, it's all a matter of perspective.

Dusan: Yes, maybe I am a little bit asshole, but the world needs assholes. Otherwise where would the shit go out?

Dr. Dyson Ido: This is just a body. It's not bad or good. That part's up to you.

[last lines]
Leon: [Leon clings onto the bead chain Tarzan is clutching] Tarzan?
[Tarzan coldly starts releasing his grip]
Leon: TARZAN!
[Tarzan continues to let the bead chain slip from his hands]
Leon: John?
[Tarzan lets the bead chain slip from his fingers]
Leon: JOHN!
[falls back into the jaws of the approaching crocodiles]

Ace: [as Dr. Schultz questions Django] Hey! Stop talking to him like that.
Dr. King Schultz: [looks to Ace] Like what?
Ace: Like that.
Dr. King Schultz: My dear sir, I am simply trying to ascertain...
Ace: Speak English, goddamn it.
Dr. King Schultz: Everybody calm down. I'm simply a customer trying to conduct a transaction.
Ace: I don't care. No sale. Now off with you.
Dr. King Schultz: Oh don't be ridiculous. Of course they're for sale.
Ace: [points shotgun at Schultz] Move it.
Dr. King Schultz: My good man, did you simply get carried away with your dramatic gesture, or are you pointing your weapon at me with lethal intention?
Ace: [cocks shotgun] Last chance, fancy pants.
Dr. King Schultz: Oh well, very well.
[pulls out pistol and shoots Ace and Dicky's horse]

[Ido offers Alita an orange]
Dr. Dyson Ido: Eat this. Get your sugar levels up.
[Alita takes the orange and bites it, realizing the skin tastes bad. Ido takes the orange peel out of her mouth]
Dr. Dyson Ido: Taste receptors are working.
[Ido takes the orange and peels off the skin]
Dr. Dyson Ido: You'll like this a whole lot better with the peel off.
Alita: I don't mean to be rude... but am I supposed to know you?
Dr. Dyson Ido: Actually... we haven't met. I'm Dr. Dyson Ido. This is Nurse Gerhad.
Alita: And do you know who I am?
Dr. Dyson Ido: Well, we were hoping you'd fill in that part. Since you're a total replacement cyborg, and most of your cyber body was destroyed, we can't find any records. But your very human brain was miraculously intact. Theoretically, you should remember something.
Alita: Oh. Well... it's still pretty blank. No, it's completely blank, actually.
[pause]
Alita: I don't even know my own name.
Dr. Dyson Ido: Let's look at the bright side.
[Ido wipes the tears from Alita's face]
Dr. Dyson Ido: Your tears are working.
[Ido eats a piece of orange. Alita grabs a piece and tries it]
Alita: Mmm. That's so good. What do you call this?

Dr. King Schultz: My name is Dr. King Schultz, and like yourself, Marshall, I am a servant of the court. The man lying dead in the dirt, who the good people of Daughtrey saw fit to elect as their sheriff, who went by the name of Bill Sharp, is actually a wanted outlaw by the name of Willard Peck, with a price on his head of 200 dollars. Now, that's 200 dollars, dead or alive.
U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum: The hell you say!
Dr. King Schultz: I'm aware this is probably disconcerting news. But I'm willing to wager this man was elected sheriff sometime in the last two years. I know this because three years ago, he was rustling cattle from the B.C. Corrigan Cattle Company of Lubbock, Texas. Now, this is a warrant, made out by circuit court Judge Henry Allen Laudermilk of Austin Texas. You're encouraged to wire him. He'll back up who I am, and who your dear departed sheriff was. In other words Marshall... you owe me 200 dollars.
Django: I'll be damned!

Col. Hans Landa: [to a bound and blindfolded Lt. Aldo] You've had a nice long run, Aldo. Alas, you're now in the hands of the SS.
[raises hands in a dramatic manner]
Col. Hans Landa: My hands, to be exact. And they've been waiting a long time to touch you.
[fingers reach out and poke Lt. Aldo in the face; Lt. Aldo flinches]
Col. Hans Landa: [chuckling] Caught you flinching.
[Lt. Aldo headbutts Col. Landa]

Dr. King Schultz: [after Calvin Candie brings a box into his dining room and takes a human skull out of it] Who is your little friend?
Calvin: This is Ben. He's a old Joe that lived around here for a long time. And I do mean a long damn time. Old Ben here took care of my daddy and my daddy's daddy, till he up and keeled over one day. Old Ben took care of me. Growing up the son of a huge plantation owner in Mississippi puts a white man in contact with a whole lot of black faces. I spent my whole life here right here in Candyland, surrounded by black faces. And seeing them every day, day in day out, I only had one question. Why don't they kill us? Now right out there on that porch three times a week for fifty years, old Ben here would shave my daddy with a straight razor. Now if I was old Ben, I would have cut my daddy's goddamn throat, and it wouldn't have taken me no fifty years to do it neither. But he never did. Why not? You see, the science of phrenology is crucial to understanding the separation about two species. In the skull of the African here, the area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or other sub-human species on planet Earth. If you examine this piece of skull here, you'll notice three distinct dimples. Here, here and here. Now if I was holding a skull of a... of an Isaac Newton or Galileo, these three dimples would be in the area of the skull most associated with creativity. But this is the skull of old Ben, and in the skull of old Ben unburdened by genius, these three dimples exist in the area of the skull most associated with servility.
[Turns to Django]
Calvin: Now bright boy, I will admit you are pretty clever. But if I took this hammer here and I bashed it in your skull, you would have the same three dimples in the same place as old Ben.

Blofeld: It was all me, James. It's always been me. The author of all your pain.

Blofeld: Welcome, James. It's been a long time... and, finally, here we are. What took you so long?

Dr. Dyson Ido: [To Alita] Wait here.
[pauses]
Dr. Dyson Ido: Try not to kill anybody.

Oberhauser: [stroking a white cat] Franz Oberhauser died twenty years ago, James, in an avalanche alongside his father. A man you're talking to now, a man inside your head, is Ernst Stavro Blofeld.

Col. Hans Landa: The feature that makes me such an effective hunter of the Jews is, as opposed to most German soldiers, I can think like a Jew, where they can only think like a German... more precisely, German soldier. Now, if one were to determine what attribute the German people share with a beast, it would be the cunning and the predatory instinct of a hawk. But if one were to determine what attributes the Jews share with a beast, it would be that of the rat. The Führer and Goebbels's propaganda have said pretty much the same thing, but where our conclusions differ is I don't consider the comparison an insult. Consider, for a moment, the world a rat lives in. It's a hostile world, indeed. If a rat were to scamper through your front door right now, would you greet it with hostility?
Perrier: I suppose I would.
Col. Hans Landa: Has a rat ever done anything to you to create this animosity you feel towards them?
Perrier: Rats spread diseases. They bite people.
Col. Hans Landa: Rats were the cause of the bubonic plague, but that's some time ago. I propose to you, any disease a rat could spread, a squirrel could equally carry. Would you agree?
Perrier: Oui.
Col. Hans Landa: Yet I assume you don't share the same animosity with squirrels that you do with rats, do you?
Perrier: No.
Col. Hans Landa: But they're both rodents, are they not? And except for the tail, they even rather look alike, don't they?
Perrier: It's an interesting thought, Herr Colonel.
Col. Hans Landa: Ha! However interesting as the thought may be, it makes not one bit of difference to how you feel. If a rat were to walk in here right now, as I'm talking, would you greet it with a saucer of your delicious milk?
Perrier: Probably not.
Col. Hans Landa: I didn't think so. You don't like them. You don't really know why you don't like them; all you know is you find them repulsive. Consequently, a German soldier conducts a search of a house suspected of hiding Jews. Where does the hawk look? He looks in the barn, he looks in the attic, he looks in the cellar, he looks everywhere he would hide. But there's so many places it would never occur to a hawk to hide. However, the reason the Führer has brought me off my Alps in Austria and placed me in French cow country today is because it does occur to me. Because I'm aware what tremendous feats human beings are capable of once they abandon dignity.

Leon: Stop shooting! You'll hit the girl!
Leon: [watching her get away] That woman...

[Bond points a gun at Blofeld]
Blofeld: Finish it... Finish it!
James: [removes clip from gun] Out of bullets.
[looks over at Madeleine]
James: And besides, I've got something better to do.

Leon: People love a good story. Yeah, few are born blue bloods like your husband. But everyone can relate to a low born scrapper who rescued his king from bankruptcy and saved the honor of his nation. That is a man who will never be forgotten.

Blofeld: I've really put you through a lot, haven't I? Well, that's brothers for you: they always know which buttons to press.

Dr. King Schultz: [toasting their business transaction] Prost!
Calvin: [toasting in kind] ... German.

[Alita looks at a picture of Ido's daughter]
Alita: This was your daughter? You built this body for her?
Dr. Dyson Ido: Her name was Alita. She was really looking forward to waking up with legs that could run.
Alita: You built her a pair of fast legs.
Dr. Dyson Ido: She never got to use them. She was murdered.
Alita: What happened?
[pause]
Dr. Dyson Ido: A patient of mine came to the clinic one night, looking for drugs. I was a tuner for the Motorball games, and I had made a machine body for him of obscene strength. He was my demon coming back to me.
[flashback shows the cyborg knocking Ido's daughter off her wheelchair before running away]
Dr. Dyson Ido: Alita couldn't get out of the way fast enough. Her mother, Chiren, couldn't deal with Alita's death. Maybe she just couldn't deal with me. So I went hunting. I needed to kill him. Maybe I was just hoping that he would kill me. It brought no peace. There were other demons like him out there and I felt, somehow, I was responsible for all of them. So I registered as a Hunter-Warrior. There's nothing noble about it.
Alita: Did you ever find peace?
Dr. Dyson Ido: I found you.
Alita: I'm not your daughter.
[pause]
Alita: I don't know what I am.
Dr. Dyson Ido: I do. Have a look at your original cyber-core. This is your brain. A normal, healthy teenage girl's brain, if there is such a thing. But this is your heart. Part of your original core, powered by an Anti-Matter Micro-Reactor.
Alita: So I've got a strong heart?
Dr. Dyson Ido: [chuckles] You have a heart strong enough to power all of Iron City for years. This is lost technology. Nobody's made this stuff since... before The Fall.
Alita: [chuckles] Yeah, right. So I'm 300 years old?
Dr. Dyson Ido: Sweetheart, you are.