The Best Costello Quotes

Frank: I'm concerned about a Chinaman who thinks it's wise to come to a business transaction with automatic weapons.
[to the Chinese translator]
Frank: For his own good, tell Bruce Lee and the Karate Kids none of us are carrying automatic weapons. Because here - in this country... it don't add inches to your dick. You get a life sentence for it.

Frank: Who let this IRA motherfucker in my bar?
[the man looks startled]
Frank: [laughs] Just kidding. How's your mother?
Man: Oh, she's on her way out.
Frank: [walks away] We all are. Act accordingly.
[smiles and his straightens tie]

Frank: I got this rat, this gnawing, cheese eating fuckin' rat and it brings up questions... You know, see, Bill, like you're the new guy. Girlfriend... Why don't you stay in the bar that night I got your numbers. Social Security numbers. Everybody's fuckin' numbers.
Billy: Is there something that you just wanna go ahead and ask me? 'Cause I'll give you the fuckin' answer, all right? Frank, look at me. Look at me. I'm not the fuckin' rat. Okay? I'm not the fuckin' rat.

[narrating first lines]
Frank: I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me. Years ago we had the church. That was only a way of saying - we had each other. The Knights of Columbus were real head-breakers; true guineas. They took over their piece of the city. Twenty years after an Irishman couldn't get a fucking job, we had the presidency. May he rest in peace. That's what the niggers don't realize. If I got one thing against the black chappies, it's this - no one gives it to you. You have to take it.

Billy: [in Costello's bar] Frank, how many of these guys have been with you long enough to be disgruntled, huh? Think about it. You don't pay much, you know. It's almost a fuckin' feudal enterprise. The question is, and this is the only question, who thinks that they can do what you do better than you?
Frank: The only one that can do what I do is me. Lot of people had to die for me to be me. You wanna be me?
Billy: I probably could be you, yeah. Yeah, I know that much. But I don't wanna be you, Frank. I don't wanna be you
Frank: Heavy lies the crown... sort of thing.

Frank: [after talking on the phone with Colin] Sweetheart, you're giving me a hard-on.
Gwen: Are you sure it's me? Not all that talk about whiffing and crawling up asses?
Frank: Watch your fuckin' mouth!
Gwen: No, you watch it. Let me straighten you out.

Frank: What we generally do - in this country... is one guy brings the items and the other guy pays him. No tickee, no laundry!

[upon learning the Police have found Delahunt's body and that he was a cop in Costello's bar]
Fitzy: I don't believe it.
Mr. French: What can't you believe?
Fitzy: I spent all fucking night dragging the poor bastard in there. Tell me how they find him so fast? Somebody walking a fucking dog ? What fucking size a dog is that? Has to be a big fucking dog, man. I spent all night doing it man.
[pause, Frank stares at him]
Fitzy: I'm embarrassed. I still don't believe he was a cop, I don't believe it.
Frank: The COPS... are saying he's a cop... so I won't look for the cop. Are you soft, Fitz? When I tell you... to dump a body in the marsh, you dump him *IN* the marsh. Not where some guy from John Hancock goes every Thursday, TO GET A FUCKING BLOWJOB!
[Fitzy laughs, Frank hits him with his cap]
Frank: Don't laugh! This ain't Reality TV!

Billy: [to Frank Costello in Frank's bar] You accuse me once, I put up with it. You accuse me twice... I quit. You pressure me to fear for my life and I will put a fucking bullet in your head as if you were anybody else. Okay?
[Frank drops something. He reaches under the table and pulls up a gun. He looks at it as if he's never seen it before and then points it at Billy]
Frank: You got something you wanna... ask me?

Colin: [standing in front of him] You're an FBI informant? Are you fucking kidding me?
Frank: [sitting on the blade of a bulldozer] Grow up!
[laughing]
Frank: Of course I talked to the FBI.
Colin: Do they know who I am?
Frank: I... I never gave up anybody... who wasn't going down anyway. Nobody knows nothin'.
Colin: Frank... Frank. Do they know about me?
Frank: I know about you, Colin. You know I'd never give you up. You're like a...
Colin: What, like a son? To you? Is that what this is about? All that murderin'... and fuckin'... and no sons?
[They shoot at each other]

Frank: [talking about Costigan] Do you trust him?
Mr. French: Well these days, who's reliable?
Frank: His uncle Jackie was. Yeah, you can't trust a guy acts like he's got nothing to lose.
Mr. French: I'm reliable.
Frank: Arnold, you're one in a million.
Mr. French: Ten. Ten million.
Frank: What about your wife, Arnold?
Mr. French: Well, I thought she was.
Frank: [laughing] She wasn't!
Mr. French: Well, she got reliable.
[flashback showing French strangling his wife]

Frank: Have a seat, Bill.
[Costigan sits down at Costello's dinner table]
Frank: [while eating crab] Do you know John Lennon?
Billy: Yeah, sure, he was the president before Lincoln.
Frank: Lennon said, "I'm an artist. You give me a fucking tuba, I'll get you something out of it."
Billy: [sarcastically] Well I tell you Mr. Costello, I'd like to squeeze some fucking money out of it.
Frank: Smart mouth. Too bad. If you'll indulge me...
[sees Gwen leaving]
Frank: Now what?
Gwen: Choir practice.
Frank: [annoyed] Choir practice.
[Costello pulls out a severed human hand]
Frank: The point I'm making with John Lennon is - a man could look at anything, and make something out of it. For instance, I look at you and I think "what could I use you for?"

Frank: [to Colin] One of us had to die. With me, it tends to be the other guy.

Frank: When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?

Frank: [in a restaurant] You know, if your father were alive, and saw you here sitting with me, let's say he would have a word with me about this. In fact, he'd kill seven guys just to cut my throat, and he could do it. That's maybe something you don't know about William Costigan, Sr.
Billy: [asking if his father never murdered anyone] So he never? I mean, never?
Frank: No. He kept his own counsel. He never wanted money. You can't do anything with a man like that. You're Uncle Jackie - he also would kill my entire fucking family if he saw me here with you. And I think about this.
Billy: [confused] So what the fuck are we talking about here?
Frank: Did you ever think about going back to school?
Billy: School?
[laughs]
Billy: All due respect Mr. Costello, school is out.
Frank: Maybe someday you'll wake the fuck up.