Top 30 Quotes From D-Fens

Bill: [to two gang members who want him to pay a toll for being on their turf] Listen fellas, I've had a really rare morning.

Bill: Hey. Why are you putting barbed wire on that fence? Is this how you rich people amuse yourselves? You put barbed wire on the fence so innocent people like me can hurt themselves looking in?

Nick: [has revealed that he's a Nazi] We're the same, you and me. We're the same, don't you see?
Bill: We are not the same. I'm an American, you're a sick asshole.

Bill: You have a choice. I can kill you. Or you can kill me, and my daughter will get the insurance.

Mr. Lee: You go now. No trouble.
Bill: No. I stay. What do you think of that?

Nick: [looks through Foster's bag full of guns and takes out the snowglobe he bought for his daughter] What is this doing in there? Faggot shit!
[he throws it]
Bill: NOOOOO!
[it smashes to pieces]

Bill: You're Korean? Do you have any idea how much money my country has given your country?
Mr. Lee: How much?
Bill: I don't know. But it's got to be a lot, you can bet on that.

Gang: Whatcha doin', Mister?
Bill: Nothing.
Gang: Yes, you are, you're trespassing on private property.
Bill: Trespassing?
Gang: You're loitering too, man.
Gang: That's right, you're loitering too.
Bill: I didn't see any signs.
Gang: [pointing at a piece of graffiti] Whatcha call that?
Bill: Graffiti?
Gang: No, man. That's not fucking graffiti, that's a sign.
Gang: He can't read it, man.
Gang: I'll read it for you. It says this is fucking private property. No fucking trespassing. This means fucking you.
Bill: It says all that?
Gang: Yeah!
Bill: Well, maybe if you wrote it in fucking English, I could fucking understand it.

Frank: Hey, you there! What are you doing there?
Bill: Just passing through.
Frank: Nobody said you could play through! Get off my hole!
Jim: Frank, Frank, he said he was passing through. Passing through.
Frank: He's not even a member, look at the way he's dressed, for Christ's sake! Would you get off my golf course?
Bill: I am!
Frank: Go back the way you came!
Jim: Frank, Frank, listen, I don't like the looks of this guy. Leave him alone, will you?
Frank: [getting worked up] Listen, what am I paying my fucking dues for? This is my golf course! If I want to play here, I will play here, you understand? If he gets hit with my Titleist, that's his fucking problem!
Jim: Don't yell at me, I'm just here playing with you.
Frank: FORE!
[Foster ignores him and keeps walking]
Frank: FORE!
[Frank hits his ball, Foster ducks and falls to the ground to avoid getting hit by it. He pulls out a shotgun out of his bag]
Bill: FINE! What the hell are you trying to do? Kill me with a golf ball? It's not enough you got all these beautiful acres fenced in for your little game, but you gotta kill me with a golf ball? You should have children playing here! You should have families having picnics, you should have a goddamn petting zoo! Instead you've got these stupid electric carts for you old men with nothing better to do!
[he shoots their golf cart, it rolls down the hill. Frank clutches his chest and falls to the ground]
Jim: Frank? Frank? What's wrong, Frank? Frank? Frank, are you OK?
Bill: Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
Jim: Oh my God! I gotta get some help!
[Jim runs off. Foster walks up to Frank, who is writhing on the ground, having a heart attack]
Bill: What's wrong with you?
Frank: [gasping] Heart...
Bill: Your heart? Something's wrong with your heart? Well, what can I do?
Frank: Pills... pills...
Bill: Pills? Where are your pills?
[Frank tries to say "cart" and points down the hill, Foster turns and sees the golf cart plunging into a water hazard]
Bill: [smirking] Well, I guess you're out of luck, aren't you? Your little cart's going to drown. Now aren't you sorry you didn't let me pass through your golf course?
Frank: [wheezing, barely able to speak] My... golf... course...
Bill: Yeah. And now you're going to die, wearing that stupid little hat. How does it feel?

Bill: [disappointed with the burger he's been served] See, this is what I'm talking about. Turn around, look at that.
[he points at the picture of a much nicer burger on the menu board above the counter]
Bill: You see what I mean? It's plump, it's juicy, it's three inches thick. Now, look at this sorry, miserable, squashed thing. Can anybody tell me what's wrong with this picture?

Nick: What kind of vigilante are you?
Bill: I am not a vigilante. I am just trying to get home to my little girl's birthday and if everybody'll stay out of my way, then nobody'll get hurt.

Annoying: Excuse me... Hey, EXCUSE ME. I don't know if you have noticed it or not, but there are other people waiting to use the phone here.
Bill: There are?
Annoying: Yeah.
Bill: There's other people who want to use the phone?
Annoying: That's right, you selfish asshole.
Bill: Well, that's too bad. Because you know what?
Bill: [firing a submachine gun into the phone booth] I think it's out of order.

Bill: I lost my job. Well, actually I didn't lose it, it lost me. I am over-educated, under-skilled. Maybe it's the other way around, I forget. But I'm obsolete. I'm not economically viable.

Construction: Where do you think you're going? You can't come this way.
Bill: What are you doing to the street?
Construction: We're fixing it! What the hell does it look like?
Bill: Two days ago, it was fine. You're telling me the street fell apart in two days?
Construction: [sarcastically] Well, I guess so.
Bill: Pardon me, but that's bullshit. I want to know what's wrong with the street. See, I don't think anything's wrong with the street. I think you're just trying to justify your inflated budgets.
Construction: What are you, nuts?
Bill: No, I know how it works. If you don't spend the money you have projected this year, they won't give you the same amount next year. Now I want you to admit there's nothing wrong with the street!
Construction: Fuck you, pal! Hah?
Bill: [pulls up his shirt revealing a pistol tucked under his belt] You're not going to hold us hostage here with these yellow lights and all these big trucks.
Construction: Look, I'm just here to keep people from falling in, that's all.
Bill: I want to hear it from you. What's wrong with the street?
Construction: I don't know, I really don't know. I mean, I think it's a sewer job.
Bill: You're lying. What's wrong with the street?
Construction: Nothing.
Bill: I knew it. See, I knew it was fine. But I'll give you something to fix.
[he pulls a rocket launcher out of his bag]
Bill: Here!

Bill: This is a gangland thing, isn't it? We're having a, uh, a territorial dispute, hm? I mean, um, I've wandered into your pissing ground or whatever the damn thing is and you've taken offence at my presence and I can understand that. I mean, I wouldn't want you people in my back yard either.

[while Foster is distracted, his wife grabs his gun and throws it over the side of the pier. Prendergast points his gun at Foster as his wife and daughter flee the scene]
Sergeant: What were you going to do?
Bill: I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Sergeant: Oh, guys like you always say you don't know what you're going to do until you do it. I think you know exactly what you were going to do, you would've killed your wife and child.
Bill: No.
Sergeant: Yeah. And then you knew it would be too late to turn back, it would be real easy to turn the gun around on yourself.

Rick: [with a fixed smile] We stop serving breakfast at 11:30.
[Foster: 33]
Bill: Rick, have you ever heard the expression "The customer is always right"?
Rick: Yeah.
Bill: Yeah, well, here I am, the customer.
Rick: That's not our policy. You have to order something from the lunch menu.

Bill: I've passed the point of no return, Beth. Do you know when that is? That's the point in a journey where it's longer to go back to the beginning than it is to continue to the end. It's like... do you remember when those astronauts got in trouble? They were going to the moon and something went wrong. I don't know, somebody screwed up, and they had to get them back to Earth. But they had passed the point of no return. So they had to go all the way around the moon to get back-and they were out of contact for hours. Everybody waited, breathlessly, to see if a bunch of dead guys in a can would pop out the other side. Well, that's me. I'm on the other side of the moon now... out of contact, and everybody is going to have to wait 'til I pop out.
Beth: The police are here.
Bill: Did you know, Beth, that in some South American countries it's still legal to kill your wife if she insults you?

Nick: [after Foster calls him "a sick asshole" for being a Nazi] Fuck you! Who the fuck are you? Are you fucking with me?
Bill: I AM JUST DISAGREEING WITH YOU! In America, we have the freedom of speech! The right to disagree!
Nick: Fuck you and your freedom!

Nick: Give me your other hand.
Bill: I can't.
Nick: Why not?
Bill: Gravity.
Nick: Gravity? What the fuck does that mean?
Bill: I'll fall down.
[Nick kick's Bill's knee, making him fall down]

Bill: I would've gotcha.

Bill: I'm rolling back prices to 1965. What do you think of that? Donuts, package of 6, how much?
Mr. Lee: Dollar, 12.
[Foster hits them with his bat]
Mr. Lee: No!
Bill: Too much. Aspirin. Price?
Mr. Lee: 3.40.
Bill: Oh, please...
[he smashes them]
Bill: Double A batteries, package of 4.
Mr. Lee: Fi... FOUR 29.
Bill: Nice try. I think this whole shelf looks suspect.
[he smashes it up. Then he picks up the can of coke that Mr. Lee was originally going to charge him 85 cents for]
Bill: One soda. 12 ounces.
Mr. Lee: 50 cent.
Bill: Sold.
[he opens the cash register, puts a dollar bill into it and takes out the change he wanted for the payphone]
Bill: It's been a pleasure frequenting your establishment.
[he walks out of the store]

Mr. Lee: Drink, eighty fi' cent. You pay or go!
Bill: What's a "fi'"? I don't understand a "fi'". There's a v in the word, it's "fi-ve". You don't got v's in China?
Mr. Lee: Not Chinese. I'm Korean.
Bill: Ah, whatever, you come to my country, you take my money, you don't even have the grace to learn how to speak my language?

Bill: [after fighting off two gang members] I'm going home! CLEAR A PATH, YOU MOTHERFUCKER! CLEAR A PATH! I'M GOING HOME!

Bill: [walking around a fast food restaurant holding a TEC-9 automatic pistol] And you, ma'am? How's the food?
[she vomits]
Bill: I think we have a critic.
[to the manager]
Bill: I don't think she likes the special sauce, Rick. That's a joke.

Bill: [talking to staff at a fast food restaurant] Why am I calling you by your first names? I don't even know who you are. I still call my boss "Mister", I worked for him for seven and a half years but I walk in here, all of a sudden, total stranger, I'm calling you Rick and Sheila like we're in some kind of AA meeting. I don't want to be your buddy, Rick. I just want a little breakfast.
Sheila: Well, you can call me Miss Folsom if you want to.

[the gang members try to get revenge on Foster with a drive-by shooting. It fails and they crash their car. Foster calmly walks up to the wreckage and kneels down by one of them who is lying injured on the ground]
Bill: You missed.
[he picks up the gang member's Uzi and fires a shot]
Bill: I missed too.
[he aims the Uzi at the head of the gang member, who begs him not to shoot. He shoots him in the leg]
Bill: There. You see? That's the concept. Take some shooting lessons, asshole.

[Bill Foster leaves his car in the middle of a traffic jam]
Guy: Hey! Where do you think you're going?
Bill: I'm going home.

Mr. Lee: [lying on the floor after fighting with Foster] Take the money.
Bill: You think I'm a thief? Oh, you see, I'm not the thief. I'm not the one charging 85 cents FOR A STINKING SODA! You're the thief! I'm just standing up for my rights as a consumer.

Sergeant: [trying to arrest Foster] Now, let's go meet some nice policemen. They're good guys. Come on, let's go.
Bill: I'm the bad guy?
Sergeant: Yeah.
Bill: How'd that happen? I did everything they told me to. Did you know I build missiles? I helped to protect America. You should be rewarded for that. Instead they give it to the plastic surgeons, y'know, they lied to me.
Sergeant: Is that what this is about? You're angry because you got lied to? Is that why my chicken dinner is drying out in the oven? Hey, they lie to everyone. They lie to the fish. But that doesn't give you any special right to do what you did today. The only that makes you special is that little girl.