The Best David Clinton Quotes

[repeated lines]
Enid: You worthless good-for-nothing wretched waste of space! You invent a time machine and can't think of anything useful to do with it?
David: I can think of one thing!

David: That's not going to work. I tried it. Yeah, those bars are cheap pig iron, but they're plenty strong enough to hold. At least until morning when they come to hang you.
Bat: Do you mind? I'm trying to plan an escape over here.
David: How's it going so far?
Bat: I'm working on it.

Enid: Come on out, David. I know you're here.
David: Oh. Hello, dear. I was just cataloging some of my collection.
Enid: Collection? Pfft. Bunch of junk.
David: It's not junk. This comb belonged to Cleopatra. And this, this is an actual early draft of the Magna Carta. And this...
Enid: Right. Like you could afford these things on a physics professor's salary. We can't even afford the new car I want.
David: I-I didn't buy them, Enid. I sort of... took them.
Enid: You robbed a museum? Is that why you're wearing that goofy catsuit?
David: Well, sort of. Not exactly. Remember last summer when I didn't get tenure?
Enid: Yeah. They thought you were crazy because you kept insisting you were on the verge of discovering... time travel.
David: It's my chrono-suit. I've had it working for months. I've been using it to gather treasures for my collection. And you said I was a loser.

Enid: Let me get this straight: you've got a suit that lets you travel in time and you've been using it to steal historical trash? You stupid little man! You could go back and steal gold and jewels. You could get stock information from the future. We could be rich.
David: No! We can't use the suit to do anything that could change history. I'm careful to only take things that wouldn't be missed.
Enid: Like your spine?
David: Enid, please. Don't talk to me like that. I love...
Enid: Mother was right. I should've married Jim Dorman. He's a very successful lawyer, and you *are* a loser. Always were, always will be.
David: But...
Enid: You worthless, good-for-nothing, wretched waste of space! YOU INVENT A TIME MACHINE AND CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING USEFUL TO DO WITH IT?
David: I can think of one thing.
[opening a portal]
David: I can use it to get away from you!

David: He keeps me here to show him out how to work the stuff he can't figure out for himself.
Bartholomew: Which I'd suspect is most of it, what with him being so mule-stupid and all.

Green: [breaking Bat Lash out of jail] I'm John. These are my friends Diana and, uh...
Bruce: Bruce.
Green: We're lawmen looking to bring a criminal to justice.
Princess: You may have seen him. He's got amazing machines. We think the man who put you in here works for him.
David: Not quite, Wonder Woman.
Princess: How do you know who I am?
Bruce: Because he's the man we're looking for.
David: David Clinton, inventor of the chrono-suit, at your disposal.
Green: You tried to steal Batman's utility belt.
David: And you chased me, but time tunnels are somewhat counter-intuitive. Even though you were only seconds behind me, I arrived here nearly six months before you did.
Bruce: Where's your time travel device?
David: Now, that's a story. As soon as I got here, I was robbed.
Princess: By Tobias Manning.
David: Yes, ma'am. He took my suit and used it to take over this town. He keeps taking trips to the future and coming back with stolen technology.