50 Best Die Hard with a Vengeance Quotes

John: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.

John: [after realizing that all of the city's cops are busy searching schools for Simon's bomb] What is it that Wall Street doesn't have?
Zeus: What, is this shit catching? You're talking in riddles!
John: No, man, stay with me, what is it that Wall Street doesn't have?
Zeus: What?
John: Schools. And what is it they've got a shitload of?
Zeus: [looking at the Federal Reserve Building] What?

Zeus: Why you keep calling me Jesús? I look Puerto Rican to you?
John: Guy back there called you Jesús.
Zeus: He didn't say Jesús. He said, "Hey, Zeus!" My name is Zeus.
John: Zeus?
Zeus: Yeah, Zeus! As in, father of Apollo? Mt. Olympus? Don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass? Zeus! You got a problem with that?
John: No, I don't have a problem with that.

John: [running to get to the payphone in the park] You know this guy Simon we're talking to?
Zeus: Yeah.
John: I threw his little brother off the thirty-second floor of Nakatomi Towers out in L.A. I guess he's a little pissed off about it.
Zeus: Wait a minute. You mean to tell me I'm in this shit 'cause some white cop threw some white asshole's brother off a roof?

John: [driving in a stolen business man's car] This thing got airbags?
Zeus: Your side does, I don't know about mi...
[shouts]
Zeus: McClane!

John: [about to enter the subway station to answer Simon's call on time] Listen, you fail I cover your ass. I fail you cover my ass!
Zeus: [still sitting in the stolen cab] And if we both fail?
John: [entering the subway station to answer Simon's call on time] Then we're both fucked!

John: [referring to the dispatcher for the Coast Guard, he attempted to call] She told me to stay on the line.
[laughs]
Simon: [laughs] Oh, God, I love this country!
John: You know, your brother was an asshole.
Simon: [pauses] Ha!
John: You know, he really was an asshole.
Simon: He was. He was an asshole. You... you got his number.

John: [to terrorists in a tunnel] Hi, fellas. Mickey O'Brien, aqueduct security. Hey, listen, we got a report of a guy coming through here with, uh, eight reindeer.
[shoots the terrorists]
John: Yeah, they said he was a jolly, old, fat guy with a snowy, white beard. Cute little red and white suit. I'm surprised you didn't see him.

Zeus: [in Walter's office] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm not going anywhere.
Inspector: Simon says you got to go.
Zeus: I'm not jumping through hoops for some psycho! That's a white man, with white problems. You deal with him. Call me when he crosses 110th Street.

Simon: [as McClane answers the pay phone] "Birds of a feather, flocked together, so do pigs & swine. As nice as their chance as well as I had mine."
John: Nice. Rhymes.
Simon: Why was the phone busy, who were you calling?
John: [Sarcastically] The psychic hotline.
Simon: I advise you to take this more seriously.
John: Hey, this is public phone. What do you want me to say?
Simon: [Slightly annoyed] You can simply say that there was a fat woman on it and it took you a minute to get her off.
[Both McClane and Zeus give shocked faces]
Simon: Now, there's a significant amount of explosive in the trash receptacle next to you. Try to run, and it goes off now.
John: We're not going to run, but I got a hundred people out here.
Simon: *That's* the point. Now, do I have your attention? "As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with 7 wives, every wife had 7 sacks, every sack had 7 cats, every cat had 7 kittens, kittens, cats sacks and wives. How many were going to St. Ives? My number is...
John: [Interrupting] Woah, whoa wait a minute I didn't get all that. Say it again.
Simon: Not a chance. My number is 555 and the answer. Call me in 30 seconds or die.

[McClane and Zeus are speeding through Central Park]
Zeus: Are you aiming for these people?
John: No. Well, maybe that mime.

Simon: [over the phone with John and Zeus] Said Simple Simon to the pieman going to the fair, "Give me your pies... or I'll cave your head in."

[McClane and Targo are fighting]
Mathias: I see you all day, little man. Policeman.
[Targo kicks McClane, who is on the ground]
Mathias: And you don't go away.
John: Yeah, I'm that fucking Energizer bunny.

John: [while arguing over the water jug problem at the park's fountain] I'll tell you what your problem is, you don't like me 'cause you're a racist!
Zeus: What?
John: You're a racist! You don't like me 'cause I'm white!
Zeus: I don't like you because you're gonna get me *killed*!

[McClane and Zeus are arguing over how to solve the water jug problem at the water fountain in the park]
John: I'll put my foot up your ass, you dumb, mother...
Zeus: Say it! Say it!
John: What?
Zeus: You were gonna call me a nigger, weren't you?
John: No I wasn't!
Zeus: Yes you were! What were you gonna call me?
John: Asshole! How's that, asshole!

Zeus: [in Zeus' electric shop] Now, where you goin'?
Dexter: School.
Zeus: Why?
Raymond: To get educated.
Zeus: *Why*?
Dexter: So we can go to college.
Zeus: And why is that important?
Dexter: To get es-pect.
Zeus: RE-spect. Now, who's the bad guys?
Dexter: Guys who sell drugs.
Raymond: Guys who have guns.
Zeus: And who's the good guys?
Dexter: We're the good guys.
Zeus: Who's gonna help you?
Raymond: Nobody.
Zeus: *So who's gonna help you*?
Dexter: We're gonna help ourselves.
Zeus: And who do we not want to help us?
Dexter,2197: White people.
Zeus: That's right. Now get on outta here. Go to school.

[trying to get to one of Simon's destinations on time in a stolen cab]
Zeus: I told you the Park Drive is always jammed.
John: I didn't say "Park Drive."
[McClane turns the cab and drives through the park]
John: I said "through the park."

Zeus: [attempting to be polite, expecting a call from Simon on the phone the Businessman is currently using] Excuse me, sir, but I'm expecting a call. I need that phone.
Businessman: Why don't you use the other phone?
Zeus: [continuing to be polite] ,Sir, please. I need to use that phone.
Businessman: [dismissively] Hey, listen, bro, I was here first.
Zeus: [offended, raises his voice] Bro? Get away from the goddamn phone!

John: I want you to get a hold of a guy named Cobb. Walter Cobb. C-o-b-b. He's the head of my police unit. Get him down here. Find him. Tell him you were with John McClane. And tell him to find out who the 21st president was.
Jerry: Chester A. Arthur.
John: What?
Jerry: Chester A. Arthur. 1881 to 1885. Nominated vice-president in 1880. Did you know he was Collector of Customs right here in New York?
John: [smiles] No, I didn't know that, Jerry. Take care of yourself.

FBI: [showing pictures inside the police van] Do you recognize this guy?
John: No.
FBI: How 'bout this one?
John: Mm-mm.
FBI: How 'bout you?
[Zeus shakes head]
FBI: Did you recognize the voice on the phone?
John: No.
FBI: Did you, uh, notice any cars following you?
John: No.
Bill: Anybody following you at all? Any kind of surveillance, telephone, house, anything unusual at all?
John: Well, now that you mention it, I have experienced a, you know, like a burning sensation between my toes. I thought it was just some athlete's foot or something.

Zeus: [slowly walking up to John, seeing the billboard his wearing has an offensive phrase towards African Americans] Morning.
John: Good morning.
Zeus: You having a nice day, sir? You feeling all right? Not to get too personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem wearing a sign that says "I hate niggers" has either got some serious personal issues, or not all his dogs are barking.
[John yawns]
Zeus: Hey! I'm talking to you! Now you've got about ten seconds before those guys see you, and when they do they will kill you, you understand? You are about to have a very bad day.
John: Tell me about it.

[last lines]
John: Oh, shit.
Zeus: What? *What*?
John: I left Holly hanging on hold.
Zeus: Ah, call her back.
John: Uhh, she's gonna be pissed.
Zeus: She'll get over it.
John: I don't know, Zeus. Like I said, she's a very stubborn woman.
Zeus: She'd have to be to stay married to you.

Zeus: [tied with John to the liquid bomb on the freighter] Damn McClane, you know I was just starting to like you.
John: Yeah, well don't, I'm an asshole.
Zeus: What are you talking about, now?
John: I lied to you, Zeus.
Zeus: About what?
John: You remember, I said Weiss found that bomb up in Harlem?
Zeus: Yeah.
John: They found it down in Chinatown.
Zeus: Oh. Oh, now that's low, even for a white motherfucker like you. That's low.
John: I told you I was an asshole.

[about to call Simon with the answer to another riddle]
Zeus: No, wait, wait! It's a trick. It's a trick.
John: What d'you mean?
Zeus: I forgot about the man.
John: What man? Fuck the man! We got ten seconds here!
Zeus: He said, "how many were going to St. Ives," right? The riddle begins, "As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives!" The guy and his wives aren't going anywhere.
John: What are they doing?
Zeus: Sitting in the fucking road! Waiting on the moor! How the hell should I know?

Simon: [talking to police on speaker phone, in Walter's office] Well, is the ebony Samaritan there, now?
Zeus: You got a problem with ebony?
Simon: No, no. My only problem is that I went to some trouble preparing that game for McClane. You interfered with a well-laid plan.
Zeus: [picks up the phone] Yeah, well, you can stick your well-laid plan up your well-laid ass.

[Zeus and McClane have just stolen a man's car on the highway]
Zeus: [to man] Hey! Who was the 21st President?
Man: Go fuck yourself!

John: [opens door of dump truck] You're a truck driver?
Jerry: No I'm a beautician. Of course I'm a truck driver!

Charles: [coming into Walter's office] A nut who knows a lot about bombs. We found this in a playground. Professional. Very cool stuff. You know...
[thuds the bomb on Cobb's desk]
Charles: Boom!
Inspector: You think you should slam it around like that, Charlie?
Charles: It's unmixed. You can't hurt it. This stuff is cutting edge. It's a binary liquid.
Inspector: A what?
Charles: Like epoxi. Two liquids.
[puts a dab of the clear liquid on Cobb's desk]
Charles: Now, either one by itself,
[hits it with his shoe]
Charles: you got nothing. But, mix them...
[swirls a paper clip in both liquids and throws it at a chair, the mixture explodes violently knocking the chair across the room]
Connie: [yelling] Charlie, you're gonna be wearin' that chair up your ass!
Inspector: [yelling] Christ almighty, Charlie!
Charles: Like I said very cool stuff. Now, with a package like this, you get a warning. Now, the bomb has to arm itself. You'll see the red liquid pump into the clear before it detonates.
John: How long before?
Charles: Ten seconds, two minutes, it could be anything. But, once it's mixed, be somewhere else.

Zeus: [tied with John to the liquid bomb on the freighter] Didn't I hear you say you didn't even like your brother?
Simon: There's a difference, you know, between not liking one's brother and not caring when some dumb Irish flatfoot drops him out of a window.

Inspector: [to Simon] I can appreciate your feelings for McClane. But believe me, the jerk isn't worth it. He's stepped on so many toes in this department, by this time next month he's gonna be a security guard. His own wife wants nothing to do with him, and he's about two steps shy of becoming a full-blown alcoholic.
John: [whispering] One step, *one* step.

John: [hands Zeus a gun, on the freighter, hiding behind a container] Here take this.
Zeus: How's it work?
John: You don't know how to shoot a gun?
Zeus: Look, all brothers don't know how to shoot guns, you racist motherfucker.
John: Sue me.

Ivan: [on the phone in the lobby of the Federal Reserve Building, referring to John] He's here.
Simon: Perhaps you could be a little more specific.

Zeus: That's it!
John: What?
Zeus: Hillary Clinton. The 42nd President.
John: Nah, she'd be the 43rd President.
Zeus: Alright, alright. But who's the 21st President?
John: I don't know.
Zeus: You don't know?
John: No, I don't know! Do you know?
Zeus: No!
John: Well?

Zeus: [running steadily to get to the park] So what's up with this L.A. thing? You famous or something?
John: Yeah, for about five minutes.
Zeus: Don't tell me. Rodney King, right?
John: Fuck you.

Zeus: What the fuck are you doin'?
John: Interrogatin' him.
Zeus: Well, what's he gonna tell you, "I'm dead"?
John: Well, I ain't gonna know 'til I ask him, am I?

Zeus: [tied with John to the liquid bomb on the freighter] No riddle is gonna stop this motherfucker?
Simon: No code, no riddle, no fancy little countdown.

[after dropping McClane off in Harlem with a sign that says "I hate niggers"]
Inspector: We'll be back to pick you up in fifteen minutes.
John: Take your time. I expect to be dead in four.

John: You know how to pick this lock?
Zeus: Is this some black-shit again?
John: Hey will you stop that racial shit? Are you a fuckin' locksmith or not?

Simon: [to John, after realizing the bomb in the school was fake] I'm a soldier, not a monster. Even though I sometimes work for monsters.

Businessman in Taxi: 112 Wall Street.
Zeus: No wait. This isn't a taxi.
Businessman in Taxi: Your lights are on. Look, I'll make this very simple. 112 Wall Street, or I'll have your medallion suspended. What you don't like white people?
Zeus: 112 Wall Street? Got it.

[McClane removes his shirt and pants, inside the police van that's driving to the location as Simon instructed him to]
John: You know, you're the first woman since Holly to see me do this.
Connie: I'm honored.
John: Yeah, so was she.

Zeus: [tied with John to the liquid bomb on the freighter] What the hell's all this got to do with killing McClane?
Simon: Life has its little bonuses.

Zeus: [pointing a gun at Simon in the bridge of the freighter] Don't fuckin' move.
Simon: [turns around] Oh, the Samaritan.
Zeus: Gimme the goddamn code.
Simon: Code?
[realizing what Zeus is talking about]
Simon: Oh, you mean for the school. I'm sorry, I can't do that.
Zeus: You call in that code right now. Or I'll blow your sick ass into the next world.
Simon: If that's what you gotta do.
[Zeus pulls the trigger on his gun and nothing happens, Simon takes the gun from Zeus]
Simon: You forgot to take the safety catch off.
[shoots Zeus in the leg]
Zeus: Oh, God!
Simon: See, that works. Now, where's McClane?

Zeus: [after stealing the Business Man's car] That guy was pissed.
John: He'll feel better when he looks in the back seat.
Zeus: Shit! That was *my* gold bar!

Raymond: [coming into Zeus' electric shop] Yo, uncle!
Dexter: [referring to the radio their carrying] Come look at this!
Zeus: [looks at watch] It's ten after nine. Why aren't you in school?
Raymond: Tony wants to sell you this.
Zeus: Tony? That no-neck dude they call "Bad T"?
Dexter: He says he found it in a dumpster.
Zeus: He keeps stealing from people, they're gonna find him in a dumpster.
Raymond: No, he didn't steal it. He says his uncle gave it to him.
Zeus: Mm-hm? Hand me that newspaper over there.
[Raymond hands Zeus the paper, and he whaps his nephews' heads lightly]
Zeus: Don't *ever* let people use you. You're running all over town with stolen property; if you get caught, you get in trouble while he gets to deny the whole thing and walk away.
Dexter: Y-You mean, you want us to take it back to Tony?
Zeus: No, I'll take it back to Tony... with a message.

Ricky: [in the police van, bring down to Harlem as Simon instructed them to] Next, fourteen dumptrucks stolen from a yard in Staten Island. Fourteen! Jesus! Somebody starting a construction company?
Joe: No, it was John's landlady, gonna clean his apartment.

John: [Referring to The Sign of the Cross, driving in a stolen cab, trying to get to the subway phone on time]
Zeus: How do Catholics do their thing?
John: North, South, West, East.

Zeus: [tied with John to the liquid bomb on the freighter] If I hadn't've saved your fuckin' ass, I wouldn't be sittin' here with you about to blow up with 100 billion dollars in fuckin' gold.
John: Yeah, well, I got some bad news, you're only gonna blow up with me.
Zeus: What?
John: No gold on this boat.
Zeus: How do you know that?
John: Cuz I know the man, I know the family. The only thing better than blowing up 100 billion dollars worth of gold is making people think you did.

[McClane and Zeus break into a car]
John: You know how to hot-wire this thing?
Zeus: Of course I can, I'm an electrician. Only problem is...
[Zeus starts the ignition with his pliers]
Zeus: it takes too fuckin' long.

Zeus: [John's driving through the park in the stolen cab, to get to the subway station payphone on the time Simon set for them] I told you 9th Avenue is the quickest way south.
John: Stop all the goddamn yellin'! I know what I'm doing.
Zeus: Not even God knows what you're doing!