50 Best The Proposal Quotes

Medivac: Gammy,We're not authorize to take you to the airport.
Grandma: [leans up] Larry Faris, don't make me call your mother!

Andrew: Why are you WET?
Margaret: Why are you NAKED?

Ramone: You can tell she's a good dancer by the way she drinks her soda pop.

Andrew: Margaret, will you marry me? Because I'd like to date you.

Margaret: If you ever grab my ass again. I will kill you!

Mr. Gilbertson: [at the Green Card interview] Are you soul mates?
Ramone: Uhm, would we kill each other? No!

Andrew: [referring to the story about how he proposed to Margaret] You know what? Actually, Margaret loves telling this story, so I'm just gonna let her go ahead and do that. We should just sit and rapture.
Margaret: Wow, okay... wow, where to begin... the story... Well, um, wow... Okay, well, um, Andrew and I... Andrew and I were about to celebrate our first anniversary together and I knew that he'd been itching to ask me to marry him and he was scared, like a little tiny bird. So, I started leaving him little hints here and there because I knew he wouldn't have the guts to ask...
Andrew: That's not exactly how it happened.
Margaret: No?
Andrew: No, no, I mean I picked up on all of her little hints... this woman is about as subtle as a gun. Yeah, no what I was worried about was that she might find this little box...
Margaret: Oh, the decoupage box that he made, where he'd taken the time to cut out twenty little pictures of himself, just pasted all over the box. So beautiful! I opened that beautiful little decoupage and out fluttered these tiny little hand cut heart confettis and once they cleared, I looked down and I saw the most beautiful, big...
Andrew: ...fat nothing! No ring.
Grandma: No ring?
Grace: What?
Andrew: No, but inside that box, underneath all that crap, a handwritten note with the address to a hotel, date and time. Real Humphrey Bogart type stuff. Masculine. Naturally, Margaret, she thought...
Margaret: I thought he was seeing someone else... so it was a terrible time for me, but I went to that hotel anyway, I went there and I pounded on the door. But the door was already unlocked. As I swung open that door, there he was...
Andrew: Standing.
Margaret: Kneeling.
Andrew: Like a man.
Margaret: On a bed of rosebuds, in a tuxedo. Your son. Your son... and he was choking back soft, soft sobs. And when he held back the tears and finally caught his breath, he said to me...
Andrew: 'Margaret, will you marry me?' and she said 'yep', the end!

Andrew: I'm not rich. My parents are rich.
Margaret: Which is the kind of thing that only a rich person would say.

Grandma: There he is!
Grace: Andrew!
Andrew: Hi!
Grace: Oh! It's so good to see you!
Grandma: You're suffocating him, Grace.
[to Andrew]
Grandma: Come here.
Andrew: Ah, Gammy. How are you doing?
[to Grace]
Andrew: Where's Dad?
Grace: Oh, you know your father. He's always working.
Grandma: Never mind about him. Where's your girl?
Andrew: Uh, she's... right there. There she is.
Grandma: I guess the word "girl" is inappropriate.
Grace: Annie.
Margaret: Hi!
Grace: Hello.
Andrew: Margaret, this is my mom.
Margaret: Oh, hello.
Andrew: Yeah, great. This is my gammy, Annie.
Margaret: Pleasure.

Mr. Gilbertson: [to Margaret] See, I'm like Eliot Ness. I always get my man. I'm that good.

Margaret: [surprised to see Andrew at her office] Why are you panting?
Andrew: Cause I've been running.
Margaret: From Alaska.

Gertrude: Hey! There you are. How are you holding up?
Margaret: Oh, fine. Fine. Just working on my tan.
Gertrude: Yeah, the Paxtons can be a bit overwhelming at times.
Margaret: Yes, yes.
Gertrude: It's a little different than New York, huh?
Margaret: Little bit. Little bit. You ever been?
Gertrude: No. That was always Andrew's dream, not mine.
Margaret: You guys were pretty serious, huh?
Gertrude: Well, I mean, we dated in high school and all through college, but we were kids.
Margaret: And you guys called it off because of...
Gertrude: Well, um... the night before we graduated school, he proposed... and said he wanted to elope and run away to New York with me. And...
Margaret: You said "No".
Gertrude: And I said "No," yeah. I've never been anywhere but here. This is home. But anyway... you're a lucky girl. He really is the best, which you obviously already know.
Margaret: Oh, yep. Yep, very much so, yeah.
Gertrude: Well, cheers to you guys.
Margaret: Well... Thank you.

[first lines]
Andrew: Shit!

Grandma: Look at this. Is that cute or what?
Grace: I know.
Andrew: Morning, guys. Have you seen... daah.
Grace: She's playing with Kevin. We thought she didn't like him.
Grandma: Will you go get her, Andy? We have a whole day planned for her, and she needs to get ready.
Grace: Yeah. Tell her we have a big surprise for her.

Andrew: C'mon. Let's go. My grandma's moving faster than you.

Margaret: Who is Jillian? And why does she want me to call her?
[shows Andrew the phone in the coffee cup]
Andrew: Well, that was originally my cup.
Margaret: And I'm drinking your coffee why?
Andrew: Because your coffee spilled.
Margaret: [tastes coffee] So you drink unsweetened cinammom light soy lattes.
Andrew: I do. It's like Christmas in a cup.
Margaret: Is that a coincidence?
Andrew: Incredibly, it is. I mean, I wouldn't possibly drink the same coffee that you drink just in case yours spilled, that would be pathetic.
[phone rings]
Andrew: Morning! Miss Tate's office.

Andrew: [upon seeing the puppy run out of the bathroom] Wow. Barely made it out with my life. I mean, did you see those teeths?

Margaret: What am I allergic to?
Andrew: Pine nuts, and the full spectrum of human emotion.

Grandma: [upon being introduced to Margaret] Do you prefer Margaret or "Satan's Mistress"?

Grandma: I want you to have it.
Margaret: I can't. Can't take this.
Grandma: I don't want to hear it. Grandmothers love to give their stuff to their grandchildren. It makes us feel like we'll still be part of your lives even after we're gone. Take it.

Grandma: [taking a knitted blanket out of the cabinet] If you get chilly tonight use this. It has special powers.
Margaret: [takes blanket] Oh. What kind of special powers?
Grandma: [smiling] I call it the baby maker.
Margaret: Okay.
[to Andrew]
Margaret: Better be super careful with this.

Grandma: [to the MedEvac pilot when he refuses to take her to the airport] Don't make me call your mother!

Margaret: If you touch my ass one more time I will cut your balls off in your sleep, okay?

Mrs. McKittrick: So I wanted to know, what does a book editor do?
Joe: That's a great question, Louise. I'm curious to know the answer myself.
Andrew: Hello, Dad.
Joe: Son.
[turns to Margaret]
Joe: This must be Maggie.
Margaret: Uh, Margaret.
Joe: Joe. Pleasure to meet you.
Margaret: Pleasure's mine.
Joe: So why don't you tell us exactly what a book editor does. Besides taking writers out to lunch and getting bombed.
Mrs. McKittrick: Now that sounds like fun. No wonder you like being an editor.
Joe: No, Louise. Andrew's not an editor, he's an editor's assistant. Maggie here is the editor.
Margaret: Margaret.
Jim: So you're actually... Andrew's boss. Yeah. Well. How about that.
Joe: I think I'll get a refill.
[walks off]
Margaret: Charming.

Andrew: [as Margaret slowly descends the ladder to the dock] Congratulations. I'm a hundred.

Margaret: I am not getting in that boat!
Andrew: Fine, see you in three days.
Margaret: You know I can't swim!
Andrew: Hence... the boat.

Margaret: Hand off ass.

Grace: [from outside of Andrew's bedroom] Room service. Breakfast for the happy couple!

Margaret: [after giving Andrew instructions on the Alaska weekend] Why aren't you taking notes?
Andrew: I'm sorry, were you not in that room?
Margaret: What? Oh, oh, the thing you said about being promoted? Genius, genius. He completely fell for it.
Andrew: I was serious. I'm looking at a 250,000 dollar fine and 5 years in jail, that changes things.
Margaret: Promote you to editor? No way.
Andrew: Then I quit and you're screwed. Bye bye, Margaret.
Margaret: Andrew! Andrew! Fine! Fine. I'll make you editor, fine. If you do the Alaska weekend and the immigration interview, I'll make you... I'll make you editor. Happy?
Andrew: Not in two years, right away.
Margaret: Fine.
Andrew: And you'll publish my manuscript.
Margaret: 10,000 copies first run.
Andrew: 20,000 copies first run.

Grandma: [Introducing the new family dog to Margaret] Don't let him out. The eagles will snatch him.

Andrew: That's the hell of a first impression, Dad.
Joe: What the hell, Andrew? You show up here after all this time with this woman you hated, and now she's your girlfriend?
Andrew: We just got here. Can we wait two seconds before we throw the kitchen sink at each other?
Joe: Just never figured you for a guy who slept his way to the middle.
Andrew: Actually, I'll have you know that that woman in there is one of the most respected editors in town.
Joe: She's your meal ticket, and you brought her home to meet your mother.
Andrew: No, she's not my meal ticket, Dad. She's my fiancée.
Joe: What'd you say?
Andrew: You heard me. I'm getting married.

Margaret: [on sleeping in the same bedroom with Andrew] We love to snuggle. Don't we honey?
Andrew: [sarcastically] Huge snugglers.

Margaret: Listen carefully Bob. I didn't fire you because I felt threatened. No. I fired you because you're lazy, entitled, incompetent and you spend more time cheating on your wife than you do in your office. And if you say another word Andrew here is going to have you thrown out on your ass - O.K.?
[Bob Spaulding motions]
Margaret: Another word and you're out of here with an armed escort. Andrew will film it on his little cameraphone and put it on that Internet site.
[to Andrew]
Margaret: What's that?
Andrew: YouTube.
Margaret: Exactly. Is that what you want?
[Bob Spaulding shakes head no]
Margaret: Didn't think so. I have work to do.

Margaret: I have never farted in front of him. Nor will I ever fart in front of him.
Andrew: She farts in her sleep.

Andrew: Three days ago, I loathed you. I used to dream about you getting hit by a cab. Then we had our little adventure up in Alaska and things started to changed. Things changed when we kissed. And when you told me about your tattoo. Even when you checked me out when we were naked. But I didn't realize any of this, until I was standing alone... in a barn... wifeless. Now, you could imagine my disappointment when it suddenly dawned on me that the woman I love is about to be kicked out of the country. So Margaret, marry me, because I'd like to date you.

Grandma: Well, now, do you prefer being called Margaret or Satan's mistress? We've heard it both ways. Actually, we've heard it lots of ways.
Grace: She's kidding.

Andrew: I have a bad feeling about this.

Grandma: [to Margaret, when adjusting the wedding dress] Where are your breasts, dear?

Andrew: Fun fact about Andrew number 11: I like Pringles.
Margaret: Okay.
Andrew: They're delicious. All Hostess products. Coke, never Pepsi, and beef jerky.
Margaret: What, are you, like, 13?

Grandma: You see the shoes that broad is wearing?

Margaret: I'm sorry for feeding you to the eagle!

Joe: [after Margaret's plane takes off] What's wrong?
Grace: Margaret's on that plane.
Grandma: And he didn't get to tell her!
Joe: Tell her what?
Grace: That he loves her.
Grandma: So she could tell him that she loves him too.
Joe: Yeah but how does he...
Grace: If she didn't love him, she wouldn't have left.
Grandma: Of course not.
Joe: Am I the only one not getting this?
Grace: Oh, Joe!

Andrew: You want to see me?
Joe: Your mom found these eco-balls. They dissolve in water. I don't know how she comes up with this stuff. Anyway, she, uh... is a little peeved. Apparently, I wasn't the most gracious of hosts last night. It was a little bit of a shock to find out that you're getting married especially when none of us even knew you were dating. The point is... I owe you an apology.
Andrew: Accepted.
Joe: There's something else. I've been going over my retirement plans recently, and it got me thinking. I've done a lot of things in my life. Practically built an empire with your mother from the ground up. It doesn't mean anything unless...
Andrew: Unless you have someone to leave it to. We already discussed this.
Joe: I'd like to discuss it again. You have responsibilities here. I think I've been more than understanding about your goofing off in New York. I need you to quit playing around and come home.
Andrew: Here we go again. When are you going to start taking what I do seriously?
Joe: Well, when you start acting seriously.
Andrew: I'm sorry. I feel sorry for you, Dad. I wish you had another son. I really do. One who wanted to stay here. One who wanted to take over the family business. One who wanted to marry someone that you approve of, but it's not me. Now, it must seem strange to you, my life in New York, sitting in an office, reading books. But it makes me happy. You understand?
Joe: If that's what makes you happy, son, I got nothing to say.
Andrew: Well, that's a first. You know what? Apology not accepted. Have fun out here.

Margaret: Andrew! Andrew! Andrew!
[throws a pillow at him, waking him up]
Margaret: [whispering] Your mother's at the door, get up here! Get up here!
Margaret: [to Andrew's mother] Just a second!
[Andrew throws his pillow and blanket at her]
Margaret: [whispering as she takes Andrew's blankets off the bed] Baby blanket, get it off, get it off...
Margaret: [Andrew gets close to her, as if they were sleeping together, as she feels something] Oh my God, what is that?
Andrew: I'm sorry... it's morning!
Margaret: What do you mean it's morning?
[Andrew rolls his eyes, as the meaning is obvious]

Andrew: Don't take this the wrong way.
Margaret: OK.
Andrew: You are a very, *very* beautiful woman.

Andrew: We'll tell my family about our engagement when I want and how I want. Now, ask me nicely.
Margaret: Ask you nicely what?
Andrew: Ask me nicely to marry you... Margaret.
Margaret: What does that mean?
Andrew: You heard me. On your knee.
Margaret: [she kneels] Fine. Does this work for you?
Andrew: Oh, I like this. Yeah.
Margaret: Here you go. Will you marry me?
Andrew: No. Say it like you mean it.
Margaret: Andrew.
Andrew: Yes, Margaret.
Margaret: Sweet Andrew.
Andrew: I'm listening.
Margaret: Would you please, with cherries on top, marry me?
Andrew: Ok. I don't appreciate the sarcasm, but I'll do it. See you at the airport tomorrow.

Margaret: They're hunting for terrorists, not for book publishers.

Margaret: They are going to make Bob chief.
Andrew: So, naturally, I would have to marry you?

Andrew: [on the phone with his mom on why he can't come home for the weekend] I know. I know. Tell Gammie I'm sorry. What do you want me to tell you, she's making me work late again. I've worked to hard for this and I'm sure that dad is pissed.
[seeing Margaret come towards him]
Andrew: But we take all our submissions very seriously and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.
Margaret: Was that your family?
Andrew: Yes.
Margaret: Tell you to quit.
Andrew: Every single day.

Margaret: Why didn't you tell me you were some kind of Alaskan Kennedy?
Andrew: How could I ? We were in the middle of talking about you... for the last 3 years.
Margaret: OK, know what ? Timeout, OK ? This bickering Bickerson thing has got to stop. People need to think that we are in love. So let's just...
Andrew: That, hey, that's no problem. I can do that. I can pretend to be the doting fiance. That's easy. But for you, that's going to require that you stop snacking on children while they dream.