The Best Dr. Bill Lee Quotes

Dr. Bill Lee: According to these readings, there's a ten pound block of Naquadah in this thing.
Agent: What's that supposed to mean?
Dr. Bill Lee: It would be very bad if it went off.
Agent: Well, it's a bomb, right? I mean, usually it's not a good thing when they go off.
Dr. Bill Lee: True.
Agent: Can we move this?
Teal'c: From what I know of Goa'uld weaponry, that would be unwise. It may have a sensor that would detect such an action.
Dr. Bill Lee: Yeah, I don't even want to go there.
Dr. Bill Lee: Let's see if we can disarm it here first.
Agent: Let me get the local authorities to start evacuating the area.
Dr. Bill Lee: Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Agent: How many miles are we talking about here?
Dr. Bill Lee: I dunno. How big is Orange County?

Burke: Is that that thing that made that guy do that thing?
Dr. Daniel Jackson,: Yeah, it's okay, it's off now.
Jack: Good. That's good.
Dr. Bill Lee: Yeah, at least we think it's off. It's not glowing anymore so...
Dr. Daniel Jackson,: Glowing thing really gives it away, so if it's not glowing anymore it shouldn't be on anymore.
Dr. Bill Lee: [to Daniel] Do you want to hold it?
Dr. Daniel Jackson,: Nope.
[Daniel hops twice sideways away from Lee]
Burke: [laughing madly] That's crazy!

Dr. Bill Lee: Given the fact that previous trips through this black hole didn't produce a rupture in the subspace structure...
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: They may not have produced the rupture but it is entirely possible that their repeated trips contributed to the deterioration of the space-time fabric that eventually ceded to the singularity, creating a bridge between the various realities.
Dr. Bill Lee: And I'm thinking that the proximity of these realities in relation to each other may account for the absence of the entropic cascade failure. But this still doesn't help us with main problem... how do reverse the process?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: I don't have any answer to that, because if I did
[camera pans around to show 15 Samantha Carters behind her]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: we all wouldn't be here.

Dr. Bill Lee: We've been working on this chair for two years to make it a viable virtual reality training tool for SGC personnel.
Teal'c: You have failed.
Jack: He's nothing if not honest.
Dr. Bill Lee: Well, I mean - I mean, maybe we could, er, it could use a little more work but...
Jack: Can you make it harder... more difficult?
Dr. Bill Lee: Well, I mean, we can input, uh, the parameters for different scenarios, but the vast majority of the simulation array comes from the mind of the user. It- The programming is actually built by interfacing memories from the individual's consciousness with the chair's matrix.
Jack: Carter, all I heard was "Matrix", and I found those films *quite* confusing.

Major: What have you found out?
Dr. Bill Lee: Well, I learned that bugs still creep me out. It all started when I was a kid and my parents took me on this picnic and this bug crawled up on me... Maybe you'd prefer to hear this story another time.
Major: I doubt it.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: How's it coming?
Dr. Bill Lee: Ah, well... I mean, we all know our auditory senses are a direct line to certain brain functions, and we know they respond differently to different sonic frequencies, but, uh... you know, trying to achieve something as specific as isolating one small part of the brain, that's like... I mean, it's like, uh... It's like trying to do... something that's... impossible.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: [dryly] Good analogy.
Dr. Bill Lee: [laughing] Come on, I haven't slept.

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter: But the truth is the Stargate program just doesn't get the support it used to from the people in charge.
Jacek: Why not?
Dr. Bill Lee: Eureka! One down, twelve to go.
Jacek: That's too bad because after all your Stargate program has accomplished for this network of planets, I would think that the decision makers would show it the respect it deserves.