The Best Frank Quotes

Carl: [after being insulted by Brenda] Dude, um, how do I say this to you gently? But your girlfriend, um... She's a fucking cunt.
Frank: Shut up! She's fresh as fuck, and you know it.
Carl: Dude, I just don't why you're limiting yourself to one bun. There's plenty of buns out there.
Frank: Because I believe in bun-ogamy. I'm a bun-ogamist, and when a bun this fresh is into you, all you ask is when and how deep.

Indian: We choose the more pleasant thing!
Ice: Yeah! I mean... What the sausage is saying is just a... a theory!
Frank: No, no, no! It's not a theory, you morons! It's a fact! I'm showing this physical evidence! Open your fucking eyes! Don't be so weak!
Brenda: Oh Frank. What are you doing?
Refried: You, senor, have no bedside manner!
Frank: What? I have bedside manner!
Frozen: You don't respect anyone else's beliefs!
Sauerkraut: You intolerant piece of shit!

Honey: You're celebrating your doom! Wake up! They're lying to your fucking faces! The Great Beyond is bullshit! Why is anybody listening to me?
Frank: Hey. Buddy, are you all right?
Honey: No! I'm not all right. It's all a lie. Everything you've been told, everything you believe in.
Carl: Hey, Honey Mustard, you're acting cray cray!
Brenda: Carl, we shouldn't even be talking to this asshole. Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird. I mean, What is he, Honey? Is he mustard? It's like make up your mind or just kill yourself.
Honey: You fucking idiots! I've been there, I've seen that shit and there ain't no way I'm going back.
Frank: Wait, wait, wait, wait. You've been to the Great Beyond?
Honey: 'Great' my asshole! Everything we've ever known is a dirt covered pile of shit. Jacking off in our fucking faces. Covering our eyes with their cum, so cum covered we can't fucking see! We don't know! We don't know, they're jerking off into our eyes! Our faces!
Brenda: Dude, shut up! The gods are gonna hear you talking about that.
Honey: They're ain't gods! They're monsters, horrible, ugly, disgusting monsters! They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice... FUCK YOU, GODS! I've got a date with oblivion.

Frank: Friends... Ramen... Country Club Lemonade... Lend me your ears of Corn. I'm Frank and I am a sausage... a little sausage with some pretty big news... Everything we've been led to believe is a lie! When we get chosen by the Gods, they're choosing us for death! Murder! Automatic expiration!... The Great Beyond is bullshit!
Indian: What?
Chunk: That's crazy talk!
Lettuce: You're a liar!
Frank: I know you don't want to believe it... But I have proof!
[shows everyone the page of people eating food, everyone reacts with shock and horror]
Licorice: What is this!
Relish: It's - it's MURDER!

Frank: If what you're saying is true, I got to tell everyone!
Firewater: Very noble, little sausage. But also, very pointless. No one will believe you.
Frank: I have to try... Everyone will die otherwise.
Firewater: Oh yeah. That's a good point. Fuck me, right?
Frank: Wait. Do you guys have any proof of this?

Frank,98745: [singing with the other sausages] In here, we keep our wieners in our packages. That's how it is.
Brenda: [singing with the other buns] It sucks, but that's the way our butts keep fresh and pure. Baby, baby.
Frank,98745: But once we're out the doors, it's not a sin.
Brenda: For us to let you slip it in.
Frank,98745: In other words, we finally get to fuck!
Brenda: And love!
Frank,98745: And fuck!
Brenda: And hug!
Frank,98745: And fuck!
Brenda: And feel!
Frank,98745: And fuck!
Brenda: And share!

[last lines]
Frank: You ready to get baked and walk through Gum's stargate with me?
Brenda: As long as we're together, I'm ready to get baked and do anything.

Douche: [sees Frank] Oh, so now you're gonna come at me, bro?
Frank: Oh, I'm coming at you!
[prepares to punch him. But Darren tries to grabs Frank]
Douche: Okay, we got him. Easy now, easy now.
Darren: Well, it's hard when your head's up my ass and you're yanking on the scrote!
Douche: Look, sausage... I relish the fact that you mustard the strength to ketchup to me!
[to Mustard, Ketchup and Relish]
Douche: Yeah, that's right, shut your mouths.
[to Frank, cackling]
Douche: I sucked a juice box's dick, and I'm shoved up a God's asshole, and this is the weirdest thing that I've done so far, bro!
[takes a bite of his torso, Frank screaming in pain]
Brenda: [gasps, shocked] Oh, my God! FRANK!
Douche: I'll tell you who eats shit: Gods do, bro... I'M A FUCKING GOD!
Darren: Good-bye, little sausage.
[prepares to kill Frank]

[first lines]
Frank: [notices the shoppers entering the Shopwell's] Shit!
[turns to Carl]
Frank: Carl? Carl? Carl, Carl, Carl! Dude, we've slept in again! The song's about to start!
Carl: Shit, Frank! We can't miss the song!
[to Barry]
Carl: Barry, wake up!
Barry: What? I'm up, I'm up!
Frank: This song is such an awesome way to start every morning.
Carl: It's just a super nice way of showing the gods how much we appreciate everything they'll do for us, once they take us out those doors to the Great Beyond.
Barry: I love this so fucking much.
Frank: Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Corn's about to start singing!
[turns to Corn]
Frank: Drop it, Corn! You've got the best voice!
Carl: You're the man, Corn! You fucking rule! Take it away, bro!

Frank: Banana's whole face peeled off, Peanut Butter's wife is dead. Look at him, he's right there.
Peanut: [screams] JELLY! I'm gonna fix you, I'm gonna fix this...

Firewater: Hello there, little sausage. You and your friends have accomplished the impossible and for that, I give you mad props. But, now that you have shattered one truth: It is time for you to learn... that we are not REAL! Booga Booga Booga.
Gum: While tripping balls, Firewater and I made an important meta-psychical breakthrough.
Firewater: The world is a fucking illusion, bro. Our lives are being manipulated for the entertainment of monsters, twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters, puppet masters in the other dimension! We're something called... Cartoons.
[Frank, Brenda, Kareem, Sammy, Barry and Teresa gasped]
Frank: What?
Firewater: You, Frank... are the plaything of a demented schlubby Jewish actor named:
[the image of actor Seth Rogen]
Firewater: Seth Ro-gan.
Frank: Wait. I'm Jewish?
Sammy: So... who am I?
Gum: You are the toy of a more talented and celebrated actor named:
[the image of actor Edward Norton]
Gum: Ed-ward Nor-ton.
Sammy: Ed-ward Nor-ton? What kind of parent gives their kid a stupid cunt name like that?
Gum: Worry not, friends. I have a solution.