Top 100 Quotes From Jaime Lannister

Jaime: Not everybody wants to die for someone else's home.

Jaime: I was sixteen once. I also had to replace someone's squire on short notice.
Alton: Which knight was it?
Jaime: Barristan Selmy. The fight against the kingswood outlaws, before your time.
Alton: What was he like?
Jaime: He was a painter. A painter who only used red.I couldn't imagine being able to fight like that. Not back then. And to help him do it, to be a part of something that perfect. I don't need to explain how that felt, not to you.
Alton: It's hard to put into words.
Jaime: It's like stepping into a dream you've been dreaming for as long as you can remember and finding out that the dream is more real than your life.

[the Dothraki are closing in on the Lannister army]
Bronn: Get back to King's Landing.
Jaime: I'm not abandoning my army!
Bronn: You're the commander, not a damn infantryman. Those fuckers are about to swamp us.
Jaime: We can hold them off.
[Daenerys flies in riding on Drogon]
Daenerys: Dracarys!
[Drogon sets the Lannister army ablaze]

Jaime: You have better instincts than anyone else in the Lannister army.
Bronn: That's like saying I have a bigger cock than anyone in the Unsullied army.

Jaime: [about Cersei] She's hateful, and so am I.

Jaime: This isn't about noble houses. This is about the living and the dead.
Cersei: And I intend to stay amongst the living.

Olenna: It's done?
Jaime: It is.
Olenna: And now the rains weep o'er our halls.

Tyrion: You made me look like a complete fool. I thought I'd surprise you by hitting Casterly Rock, but you were three steps ahead of me. You abandoned the family home. Completely unsentimental. Father would've been proud.
Jaime: Don't talk about Father.
Tyrion: Listen to me...
Jaime: [interrupts] I once told Bronn that if I ever saw you again, I'd cut you in half.
Tyrion: It'll take you a while with a sparring sword.
[Jaime shakes his head]
Tyrion: He was going to execute me. He knew I was innocent. He didn't hate me because of anything I did, he hated me because of what I am, a little monster sent to punish him!
[Jaime does not respond]
Tyrion: [angry] Did he think... Did he think I wanted to be born this way? Did he think I chose...
Jaime: [interrupts] What do you want?
Tyrion: Daenerys will win this war. You're a military man. You must know there's no way around that. Daenerys is not her father. She's even willing to suspend hostilities if Cersei agrees to certain terms.
Jaime: You want Cersei to bend the knee, you can ask her yourself.
Tyrion: I don't. Daenerys doesn't. Right now, anyway. She has a more important request.

[Brienne, Pod, Jaime, Davos and Tyrion have a drink together. Tormund joins them. He approaches Brienne]
Tormund: It could be our last night in this world, you know.
Brienne: Yes, well, I'm glad you are here.
Brienne: [stammering] Here fighting with us. Glad you survived Eastwatch.
Tyrion: Would you like a drink?
Tormund: Brought my own.
[Tyrion acknowledges Tormund]
Tormund: [to Jaime] They call you "King Killer".
Jaime: I'm sure someone does.
Tormund: They call me "Giantsbane". Want to know why?
[Jaime sighs. Tormund pulls up a chair and sits]
Tormund: I killed a giant when I was ten. Then I climbed right into bed with his wife. When she woke up, you know what she did? Suckled me at her teat for three months. Thought I was her baby. That's how I got so strong. Giant's milk.
[Tormund gulps his drink up rudely]

Eddard: Handsome armor. Not a scratch on it.
Jaime: I know. People have been swinging at me for years and they always seem to miss.
Eddard: Chosen your opponents wisely, then.
Jaime: I have a knack for it.

Jaime: We're Lannisters. Lannisters don't act like fools.

- Woman: I have to go down and get another barrel.
Jaime: We fought dead things and lived to talk about it.
- If this isn't the time to drink, when is?

Jaime: Lothar, is it?
Lothar: [surprised] Ser Jaime. We didn't know you were coming.
Jaime: Cause you didn't set a proper perimeter. You just allowed eight thousand men to approach unchallenged.
Bronn: Good thing were friends, or we'd be fucking you in the ass right now.

High: You would spill blood in this holy place?
Jaime: The gods won't mind. They've spilled more blood than all of us combined.

Jaime: [interrupting Tyrion at a whorehouse] The Starks are feasting us at sundown. Don't leave me alone with these people.
Tyrion: I'm sorry, I've begun the feast a bit early. And this is the first of many courses.
Jaime: I thought you might say that. But since we're short on time...
[opening the door, where a few other prostitutes wait]
Jaime: Come on, girls.
[they join Tyrion on the bed]
Jaime: See you at sundown.
Tyrion: Close the door!

[Jaime and Bronn stand on a parapet at King's Landing. Bronn has just spoken to a Lannister soldier]
Bronn: I still enjoy it when they call me, "m'lord."
Jaime: The thrill will fade.
Bronn: If we live that long.
[the castle is surrounded by Daenerys Targaryen's Unsullied Army, which is laying siege to the city. Bronn surveys the Unsullied legions below]
Bronn: Men without cocks. You wouldn't find me fighting in an army if I had no cock. What's left to fight for?
Jaime: Gold?
Bronn: I spend my life around soldiers. What do you think they spend that gold on?
Jaime: Family.
Bronn: Not without a cock, you don't.
Jaime: [drily] Maybe it really is all cocks in the end.
Bronn: And yet, your brother has chosen to side with the cockless.
Jaime: Yes. He's always been a champion of the downtrodden.
[They watch as waves of Dothraki warriors arrive on horseback, riding in front of the castle, yelling war cries, and waving their swords]
Bronn: I think we're about to be the downtrodden.

[the cell door opens]
Tyrion: Oh, get on with it, you son of a whore!
Jaime: Is that any way to speak about our mother?

Jaime: [to Cersei about their father Tywin] They're going to try to take it away, all of it, all of them out there, our enemies. They're waiting in line to make sure he's really dead and as soon as they see the stones on his eyes they'll set to work on tearing us apart.

Tyrion: Not going well, is it?
Jaime: You're going to be found guilty.
Tyrion: Oh! You think so?
Jaime: When you are, you need to enter a formal plea for mercy and asked to be sent to the Wall. Father's agreed to it. He'll spare your life and allow you to join the Night's Watch.
Tyrion: Ned Stark was promised the same thing, and we both know how that turned out.
Jaime: My father isn't Joffrey. He'll keep his word.
Tyrion: How do you know?
Jaime: Do you trust me?
[Tyrion nods mildly]
Jaime: Keep your mouth shut, no more outbursts. This will all be over soon.

Jaime: You plotted with Euron Greyjoy without telling me, the commander of your armies?
Cersei: And you conspired with Tyrion, the man who murdered our father, without telling me, your queen.
Jaime: I didn't conspire with him.
Cersei: [snaps] You met with him in secret without my consent, you planned to promote my enemies' interests. THAT is the definition of conspiracy.
Jaime: I pledged to ride north. I intend to honor that pledge.
Cersei: And that will be treason.
Jaime: [incredulously] Treason?
Cersei: Disobeying your queen's command, fighting with her enemies, what would you call it?
Jaime: Doesn't matter what I'd call it.
[He starts to walk away, but Ser Gregor Clegane bars his path]
Cersei: I told you no one walks away from me.
Jaime: [incredulously] Are you going to order him to kill me? I'm the only one you have left. Our children are gone, our father is gone; it's just me and you now.
Cersei: [referring to her unborn child] There's one more yet to come.
Jaime: Give the order, then.
[Cersei nods her head. Ser Gregor draws his sword, but does not attack]
Jaime: [shakes his head] I don't believe you.
[Jaime turns his back on Cersei and storms out of the room, leaving her alone with Ser Gregor]

Jaime: Have you ever met the Blackfish?
Brienne: No.
Jaime: He's even more stubborn than you are.

Myrcella: This is my home. This has been my home for years. I didn't want to come here, but she told me to. I did what she said! I did my duty, and now, she wants me to go back?
Jaime: It's for your own good. These are complicated matters.
Myrcella: It's not complicated at all. It's simple. I love Trystane, I'm going to marry him, and we're staying right here.
Jaime: I don't understand...
Myrcella: Of course you don't. You don't know me.
[turns, leaves]

- We're taking her to king's landing. Unless you kill me.
- She belongs to me.
- Lord Bolton's orders.
Jaime: What do you think is more important to lord Bolton?
- Getting his pet rat a reward or ensuring tywin Lannister gets his son back alive?

Jaime: It must be strange for you... coming into this room. I was standing right here when it happened. He was very brave, your brother. Your father too. They didn't deserve to die like that. Nobody deserves to die like that.
Eddard: But you just stood there and watched.
Jaime: Five hundred men just stood there and watched. All the great knights of the Seven Kingdoms. You think anyone said a word, lifted a finger? No, Lord Stark. Five hundred men and this room was silent as a crypt. Except for the screams, of course, and the mad king laughing. And later... when I watched the mad king die, I remembered him laughing as your father burned... it felt like justice.
Eddard: Is that what you tell yourself at night? You're a servant of justice? That you were avenging my father when you shoved your sword in Aerys Targaryen's back?
Jaime: Tell me: if I'd stabbed the mad king in the belly instead of the back, would you admire me more?
Eddard: You served him well when serving was safe.

[Jaime approaches Randyll and Dickon Tarly]
Jaime: Lord Tarly.
[Randyll and Dickon turn to Jaime]
Randyll: Ser Jaime. I believe you know my son.
Dickon: Ser Jaime.
Jaime: Rickard... isn't it?
Dickon: Dickon.
Jaime: That's it.

Jaime: In the name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave. In the name of the Father, I charge you to be just. In the name of the mother, I charge to you to defend the innocent. Rise Ser Brienne of Tarth, Knight of the Seven Kingdoms.

[Robb enters Jaime's cage]
Jaime: King in the North. I keep expecting you to leave me in one castle or another for safekeeping, but you've dragged me along from camp to camp. Have you grown fond of me, Stark? Is that it? I've never seen you with a girl.
Robb: If I left you with one of my bannermen, your father would know within a fortnight. My bannerman would receive a raven with a message: "Release my son and you'll be rich beyond your dreams. Refuse and your house will be destroyed, root and stem."
Jaime: You don't trust the loyalty of the men following you into battle?
Robb: Oh, I trust them with my life. Just not with yours.
Jaime: Smart boy. What's wrong? Don't like being called "boy"?
[Jaime adopts a mocking frown and tone]
Jaime: Insulted?
[Robb glances sternly at a point behind Jaime's shoulder. A deep growl is heard off-screen. Jaime struggles to turn his head to see what made the noise]
Robb: You insult yourself, Kingslayer. You've been defeated by a boy. You're held captive by a boy. Perhaps you'll be killed by a boy.
[Jaime tries not to let his fear show as Robb's direwolf, Grey Wind, stalks into the cage]
Robb: Stannis Baratheon sent ravens to all the high lords of Westeros. King Joffrey Baratheon is neither a true king, nor a true Baratheon. He's your bastard son.
Jaime: Well, if that's true, Stannis is the rightful king. How convenient for him.
Robb: My father learned the truth. That's why you had him executed.
Jaime: I was your prisoner when Ned Stark lost his head.
Robb: Your son killed him so the world wouldn't learn who fathered him, and you... you pushed my brother from a window because he saw you with the queen.
Jaime: [still trying not to let his fear show] You have proof? Or do you want to trade gossip like a couple of fishwives?
Robb: I'm sending one of your cousins down to King's Landing with my peace terms.
Jaime: You think my father's going to negotiate with you? You don't know him very well.
Robb: No... but he's starting to know me.
Jaime: Three victories don't make you a conqueror.
Robb: It's better than three defeats.
[Robb turns and walks out of the cage. Jaime shuts his eyes as Grey Wind growls threateningly and lunges at his face. When Jaime opens his eyes again, he is unharmed and alone]

[at Joffrey's wedding, Loras exchanges flirtatious gazes with Oberyn Martell. He walks backwards and bumps into Jaime]
Loras: Ser Jaime, I'm very sorry.
Jaime: Ser Loras, it's quite all right.
[Jaime watches Margaery]
Jaime: Your sister looks very beautiful.
Loras: As does yours.
Jaime: So... looking forward to your wedding?
[Loras pauses slightly before answering]
Loras: Yes, very much.
Jaime: Our fathers are both rather keen on the prospect.
Loras: They certainly are.
Jaime: Perhaps they should get married.
[they chuckle]
Jaime: If you were to marry Cersei, she'd murder you in your sleep.
[Loras' smile fades and he frowns]
Jaime: If you somehow managed to put a child in her first, she'd murder him, too, long before he drew his first breath. Luckily for you, none of this will happen because you'll never marry her.
Loras: [nods] And neither will you.
[Loras walks away]

Cersei: You should be the Hand of the King.
Jaime: That's an honor I can do without. Their days are too long, their lives are too short.

Bronn: You promised me a lordship, and a castle, and a highborn beauty for a wife.
Jaime: And you'll get all three. "A Lannister always - "
Bronn: Don't say it, don't fucking say it!

Jaime: They're not good at anything. I know the ironborn. They're bitter, angry little people. All they know how to do is steal things they can't build or grow themselves.

Jaime: We don't choose who we love. It just... well... it's beyond our control. I sound like an idiot.
Myrcella: No, you don't.
Jaime: What I'm trying to say, what I'm trying and failing to say...
Myrcella: I know what you're trying to say.
Jaime: No, I'm afraid you don't.
Myrcella: I do.
[Myrcella takes Jaime's hand]
Myrcella: I know. About you and mother. I think a part of me always knew. And I'm glad. I'm glad that you're my father.
[they embrace each other]

Bronn: Now that is a sorry attempt at a siege. Someone needs to teach those sad twats how to dig trenches.
Jaime: Someone certainly does.
Bronn: No, no. Not me. I'm just an upjumped sellsword.
Jaime: You're an anointed knight! There's quite a difference.
Bronn: Aye, knights don't get paid.

[one of the Stark soldiers recognize Jaime]
Jaime: I wish someone would have told me, I wouldn't have had to steal that pig.

Bronn: You ever been to Dorne?
Jaime: No.
Bronn: Well, I have. The Dornish are crazy. All they want to do is fight and fuck, fuck and fight.
Jaime: You should be happy to go back then.

Jaime: I hope you're pleased. If you had armed me, they would never have taken us.
Brienne: You were armed when we were taken.
Jaime: I was in chains if you recall. Our little match would have ended quite quick if my hands weren't bound.
Brienne: All my life I've been hearing, "Jaime Lannister, what a brilliant swordsman." You were slower than I expected. And more predictable...
Jaime: I've been sitting in a muddy pen wrapped in chains for the past year.
Brienne: And I'm a woman. I was still beating you.
Jaime: You were not beating me.
Brienne: Maybe you were as good as people said... once. Or maybe people just love to overpraise a famous name.

Jaime: [to Cersei] You're a hateful woman. Why have the gods made me love a hateful woman?

Jaime: [to Cersei] When the fighting in the North is over, someone wins. You understand that, don't you? If the dead win, they march south, and kill us all. If the living win, and we've betrayed them, *they march south and kill us all!*

[Jaime finds Jon at the blacksmith's forge, examining Arya's sword]
Jaime: A sword for the Wall?
Jon: I already have one.
Jaime: Good man. Have you swung it yet?
Jon: Of course I have.
Jaime: At someone, I mean.
[Jon does not answer]
Jaime: It's a strange thing, first time you cut a man. You realize we're nothing but sacks of meat and blood, and some bone to keep it all standing.
[pause]
Jaime: Let me thank you ahead of time for guarding us all from the perils beyond the Wall. Wildlings and white walkers and whatnot. We're grateful to have good, strong men like you protecting us.
Jon: We've guarded the Kingdoms for eight thousand years.
Jaime: Is it "we" already? Have you taken your vows, then?
Jon: Soon enough.
Jaime: Give my regards to the Night's Watch. I'm sure it will be thrilling to serve in such an elite force. And if not...
[Jaime smiles and shrugs]
Jaime: ...it's only for life.

Jaime: You drink more than you used to.
Cersei: Yes.
Jaime: Why?
Cersei: Hmm. Let's see. You started a brawl in the streets with Ned Stark and disappeared from the capital. My husband died in a tragic hunting accident.
Jaime: [patronizing] It must have been traumatic for you.
Cersei: My only daughter was shipped off to Dorne. We suffered through a siege.
Jaime: A rather short siege.
Cersei: Rather a short siege that I didn't expect to survive. And now I'm marrying my eldest son to a wicked little bitch from Highgarden, while I'm supposed to marry her brother, a renowned pillow-biter. So...

Jaime: I'm not well suited for imprisonment. Shocking, I know. Some men are. Ned Stark? I imagine he made an excellent prisoner right up until the end. But me, though... my life has left me uniquely unfit for constraint.
Alton: And have you thought about...
Jaime: Of course. Every day.
Alton: And?
Jaime: Good prisoners breed good jailers, apparently. The Starks are very careful. There is a way, I think. It wasn't possible until now.
Alton: What is it?
Jaime: It's actually quite simple.
Alton: Well, let me help you.
Jaime: You'll only have to do one thing.
Alton: Tell me.
Jaime: [leans in close to whisper in Alton's ear] You'll have to die.
[Alton stares at Jaime in confusion for a moment. Jaime suddenly attacks Alton and beats him to death]

Jaime: But even if the boy lives he would be a cripple, a grotesque. Give me a good, clean death anyday.
Tyrion: Speaking for the grotesques, I have to disagree. Death is so final, yet life is full of possibilities. I hope the boy does wake. I'd be very interested to hear what he has to say.
Jaime: My dear brother, there are times you make me wonder whose side you're on.
Tyrion: *My* dear brother, you wound me. You know how much I love my family.

Jaime: [Myrcella's necklace sent to them mounted on the neck of a serpent] It's a threat.
Cersei: Of course it's a threat! Our daughter's alone in Dorne surrounded by people who hate our family.
[mocking: ]
Cersei: "It's a threat."
Jaime: No note?
Cersei: They blame us for the death of Oberyn and his sister and every other tragedy that's befallen their cursed country.
[rises in fury]
Cersei: I will burn their cities to the ground if they touch her!
Jaime: Softer.
Cersei: What?
Jaime: [whispers] Not so loud.
Cersei: Our daughter's in danger, and you're worried I'm speaking too loudly?
Jaime: [whispers] The world can't know she's our daughter.
Cersei: Then don't call her your daughter. You've never been a father to her.
Jaime: If I were a father to any of my children, they'd be stoned in the street.
Cersei: And what has your caution brought? Our oldest child murdered at his own wedding. Our only daughter shipped off to Dorne. Our baby boy set to marry that smirking whore from Highgarden!

[Jaime pours wine to two goblets]
Olenna: Your brother and his new queen thought you would be defending Casterly Rock.
Jaime: The truth is Casterly Rock isn't worth much anymore. Well, it is to me, but my fond childhood memories won't keep Cersei on the throne.
Olenna: So you just let them take it?
Jaime: For now. They won't be able to hold it. Euron Greyjoy's navy burned their ships, we emptied the larders before we left. Eventually, they'll be forced to abandon their position and march all the way across Westeros.
[Jaime places the two goblets on the table, in front of Olenna]
Olenna: And you took your army, your real army, and went where they weren't.
[Jaime takes a chair and sits at the table]
Jaime: As Robb Stark did to me at Whispering Wood. There are always lessons in failures.
Olenna: Yes. You must be very wise by now.
Jaime: My father always said I was a slow learner.
Olenna: If he was so clever, why didn't he take Highgarden the moment your gold mines ran dry? I suppose I'll be able to ask him myself soon enough. No more learning from my mistakes, eh?

Bronn: You set your brother free, didn't you? I'll bet your sister didn't like that.
Jaime: Varys set him free.
Bronn: Well, if you ever see the wee fucker, give him my regards.
Jaime: He murdered my father. If I ever see him, I'll split him in two. And then I'll give him your regards.

Jaime: Even Lannisters can't survive without allies. Where are our allies now? You saw what happened to Walder Frey and his family.
Cersei: I heard. How could we ever trust a man like that?
Jaime: We couldn't. He was a useless old coward, but the Freys supported us. Now they're all dead. Whoever killed them is no friend of ours. We need allies. Stronger, better allies. We can't win this war alone.
Cersei: You think I listened to father for forty years and learned nothing?

Jaime: You condemned your own son to death.
Tywin: I condemned no one. The trial is not over.
Jaime: This isn't a trial, it's a farce. Cersei has manipulated everything and you know it.
Tywin: I know nothing of the sort.
Jaime: You always hated Tyrion.
Tywin: He killed his king!
Jaime: As did I! Do you know the last order the 'Mad King' gave me? It was to bring him your head. I saved your life so you could murder my brother?
Tywin: It won't be murder it will be justice.
Jaime: Justice?
Tywin: I am performing my sworn duty as Hand of the King. If Tyrion is found guilty, he will be punished accordingly.
Jaime: He will be executed.
Tywin: No! He'll be punished accordingly!
Jaime: Once you said family is what lives on. All that lives on. You told me about a dynasty that would last 1,000 years. What happens to your dynasty when Tyrion dies? I'm a Kingsguard, forbidden by oath to carry on the family line.
Tywin: I'm well aware of your oath.
Jaime: What happens to your name? Who carries the lion banner into future battles? Your nephews? Lancel Lannister? Others whose names I don't even remember?
Tywin: What happens to my dynasty if I spare the life of my grandson's killer?
Jaime: It survives, through me. I'll leave the Kingsguard, I'll take my place as your son and heir, if you let Tyrion live.
Tywin: [immediately responds] Done!
[Jaime looks shocked as if he had made a grave mistake]
Tywin: When the testimony's concluded and the guilty verdict rendered, Tyrion will be given the chance to speak. He'll plead for mercy. I'll allow him to join the Night's Watch. In three days time he'll depart for Castle Black and live out his days at the wall. You'll remove your white cloak immediately. You'll leave King's Landing to pursue your rightful place at Casterly Rock. You'll marry a suitable woman and father children name Lannister and you'll never turn your back on your family again.
Jaime: You have my word.
Tywin: And you have mine.
[Jaime turns and leaves the room]

Tyrion: If it weren't for you, I never would have survived my childhood.
Jaime: [softly] You would have.
Tyrion: [shakes his head, on the verge of tears] You were the only one... who didn't treat me like a monster. You were all I had.
[the brothers embrace as Tyrion cries]

Jaime: They say the best swords have names. Any ideas?
[Brienne thinks for a moment]
Brienne: Oathkeeper.

[last lines]
Jaime: The things I do for love...
[Jaime pushes Bran from the window]

Jaime: [sword made of Valyrian steel] You've wanted one of these in the family for a long time.
Tywin: And now we have two.
Jaime: Two?
Tywin: The original weapon was absurdly large. Plenty of steel for two swords.

Jaime: We could end this war right now, boy, save thousands of lives. You fight for the Starks, I fight for the Lannisters. Swords or lances, teeth, nails - choose your weapons, and let's end this here and now.
Robb: If we do it your way, Kingslayer, you'd win. We're not doing it your way.

Qyburn: [about Jaime's steel hand] A work of art. The craftsmanship is excellent.
Jaime: You like it so much, you're welcome to chop off your own hand and take it.
Cersei: You're such an ingrate. I spent days with the goldsmith getting the details just right.
Jaime: Days?
[pause]
Cersei: Better part of an afternoon.

[Jaime and Brienne are on their way to King's Landing. Jaime keeps teasing Brienne while she leads him to the river]
Jaime: It's a long way to King's Landing. Might as well get to know one another. Have you known many men? I suppose not. Women? Horses? Aha!
[Jaime winces in pain when Brienne forces him to kneel down near a boat, because she spotted people passing nearby on a bridge]
Jaime: I didn't mean to give offense, My Lady. Forgive me.
Brienne: Your crimes are past forgiveness, Kingslayer.
Jaime: Why do you hate me so much? Have I ever harmed you?
Brienne: You've harmed others - those you were sworn to protect, the weak, the innocent.
Jaime: Has anyone ever told you you're as boring as you are ugly?
[once the passing people disappear from view, Brienne roughly pulls Jaime back on his feet]
Brienne: You will not provoke me to anger.
[Brienne drags Jaime to the river bank]
Jaime: I already have. Look at you. You're ready to chop my head off. Do you think you could? Do you think you can beat me in a fair fight?
[Brienne drags the boat to the river]
Brienne: I've never seen you fight.
Jaime: The answer is no. There are three men in the kingdoms who might have a chance against me. You're not one of them.
[Brienne pushes the boat into the water]
Brienne: All my life men like you have sneered at me. And all my life I've been knocking men like you into the dust.
Jaime: If you're so confident, unlock my chains. Let's see what happens.
Brienne: Do you take me for an idiot? In.
[Brienne gestures Jaime to enter the boat. He complies]
Jaime: I took you for a fighter, a man - oh, pardon - woman of honor. Was I wrong? You're afraid.
[Brienne enters the boat, moves it away from the bank and starts rowing]
Brienne: Maybe one day we'll find out, Kingslayer.

Jaime: As your brother, I feel it's my duty to warn you: you worry too much. It's starting to show.
Cersei: And you never worry about anything. When we were seven and you jumped off the cliffs at Casterly Rock, 100-foot drop into the water, and you were never afraid.
Jaime: There was nothing to be afraid of until you told Father.

Robert: [as Jaime enters the room] Surrounded by Lannisters. Everytime I close my eyes I see their blonde hair and their smug, satisfied faces. It must wound your pride, huh? Standing out their like a glorified sentry. Jaime Lannister, son of the mighty Tywin... forced to mind the door while your king eats and drinks and shits and fucks. So come on. We're telling war stories. Who was your first kill, not counting old men?
Jaime: One of the outlaws in the brotherhood.
Barristan: [to Jaime] I was there that day. You were only a squire, 16 years old.
Jaime: [to Selmy] You killed Simon Toyne with a counter riposte. Best move I ever saw. A good fighter, Toyne, but he lacked stamina.
Robert: Your outlaw... any last words?
Jaime: I cut his head off, so... no.
Barristan: Hmm.
Robert: What about Aerys Targaryen? What did the Mad King say when you stabbed him in the back? I never asked. Did he call you a traitor? Did he plead for a reprieve?
Jaime: He said the same thing he'd been saying for hours... "Burn them all".
[Robert gapes at Jaime]
Jaime: If that's all, Your Grace...
[Jaime bows to Robert and Selmy, then leaves the room]

Cersei: Why did Catelyn Stark set you free?
Jaime: What?
Cersei: I've been wondering for months. Ever since that great cow brought you back to the capital. Why did she set you free?
Jaime: You know why. She'd hoped I'd send her daughters back to her.
Cersei: [approaches Jaime] She hoped or did you promise?
Jaime: I swore by all the gods that if her daughters were alive, I'd return them to her.
Cersei: [scornfully] So you made a sacred vow to the enemy.
Jaime: I wanted to get back to you. Should I have told her to fuck off?
Cersei: [smirks] You didn't mean it, then? You have no loyalty to Catelyn Stark?
Jaime: Catelyn Stark's dead.

Jaime: We fought dead things and lived to tell about it. If this is not the time to drink, when is?

- Sorry about the other day.
Jaime: Prince trystane here is a man of mercy.
- He's agreed to Grant you your freedom.
- I'm glad to hear it.
- Pie looks good.
- There was one condition.

Jaime: [to Walder Frey] They don't fear the Freys, though. The fear the Lannisters. We gave you the Riverlands to hold the Riverlands. If we have to ride north and take them back for you every time you lose them, why do we need you?

[first lines]
Jaime: I made a deal for you to keep your ungrateful head on your ungrateful neck a little while longer.
Tyrion: I'm sorry, what am I grateful for? The opportunity to live and die at the wall as punishment for a crime I did not commit?
Jaime: You threw your life away. You threw it away! It's not a joke. You understand that, don't you?
Tyrion: Of course it's a joke, just not a very funny one. I couldn't... I couldn't listen to her, standing there, telling her lies. I couldn't do it!
Jaime: You fell in love with a whore.
Tyrion: Yes, I fell in love with a whore. And I was stupid enough to think that she had fallen in love with me. That deal you made, it was everything Father wanted. You do see that? He gets you back as his heir. The future lord of the Rock. And he ships me off to Castle Black, out of sight at last. All so perfect. It felt good to take that from him. He knows I'm innocent and he's willing to sacrifice me anyway.
Jaime: He's willing to sacrifice any of us.
Tyrion: Not you! You're the golden son! You could kill a king, lose a hand, fuck your own sister, you'll always be the golden son.
Jaime: Careful. I'm the last friend you've got.
Tyrion: At least I got to tell them what they really are.
Jaime: [with irony] Yes, brilliant speech. They'll be talking about it for days to come. I thought you were a realist. Didn't realize you would die for pride.

Jaime: The king shits, and the Hand wipes.

Cersei: You're hurt.
Jaime: Doesn't matter.

Tyrion: What's the punishment for regicide? Drawing and quartering? Hanging? Breaking at the wheel?
Jaime: Beheading.
Tyrion: Seems rather ordinary. And he was my nephew as well, so what is that? Fratricide is brothers. Filicide is sons. Nepoticide. That's the one. Matricide, patricide, infanticide, suicide. There's no kind of killing that doesn't have its own word.
Jaime: [referring to Alton Lannister] Cousins.
Tyrion: Cousins, you're right. There is no word for cousin killing. Well done. Do you remember cousin Orson? Orson Lannister?
Jaime: Of course. Wet nurse dropped him on his head. Left him simple.
Tyrion: Simple? Used to sit all day in the garden. Crushing beetles with a rock.
[Jaime and Tyrion jokingly mimic how Orson used to crush beetles and the "kun kun kun" he made while doing so]
Tyrion: Nothing made him happier.
Jaime: Nothing made YOU happier. You'd think being tormented from birth would have given you some affinity for the afflicted.
Tyrion: On the contrary. Laughing at another person's misery was the only thing that made me feel like everyone else.
Jaime: The joke wore thin, though.
Tyrion: For you. You drifted away.
Jaime: I had other interests.
Tyrion: Yes, other interests. But I stayed with Orson.
Jaime: Why?
Tyrion: I was curious. Why was he smashing all those beetles? What did he get out of it? First thing I did was ask him "Orson, why are you smashing all those beetles?". He gave me an answer "Smath the beetles. Smath 'em. kun kun kun".
[Jaime chuckles]
Tyrion: I wasn't deterred. I was the smartest person I knew. Certainly I had the wherewithal to unravel the mysteries that lay at the heart of a moron. So I went to Maester Volarik's library.
Jaime: [shakes his head disgustedly] Volarik. Tried to touch me once.
Tyrion: Turns out, far too much has been written about great men and not nearly enough about morons. Doesn't seem right. In any case, I found nothing that illuminated the nature of Orson's affliction or the reason behind his relentless beetle slaughter. So I went back to the source. I may not have been able to speak with Orson, but I could observe him, watch him, the way men watch animals to come to a deeper understanding of their behavior. And as I watched, I became more and more sure of it. There was something happening there. His face was like the page of a book written in a language I didn't understand, but he wasn't mindless, he had his reasons. And I became possessed with knowing what they were. I began spending inordinate amounts of time watching him. I would eat my lunch in the garden, chewing my mutton to the music of "kun kun kun". And when I wasn't watching him, I was thinking about him. Father droned on about the family legacy and I thought about Orson's beetles. I read the histories of Targaryen conquests. Did I hear dragon wings? No, I heard "kun kun kun". And I still couldn't figure out why he was doing it. And I had to know because it was horrible, that all these beetles would be dying for no reason.
Jaime: Every day around the world, men, women and children are murdered by the score. Who gives a dusty fuck about a bunch of beetles?
Tyrion: I know, I know. But still, it filled me with dread. Piles and piles of them, years and years of them. How many countless living crawling things smashed and dried out and returned to the dirt? In my dreams I found myself standing on a beach made of beetle husks stretching as far as the eye could see. I woke up crying, weeping for their shattered little bodies. I tried to stop Orson once.
Jaime: He was twice your size.
Tyrion: He just pushed me aside with a "kun" and kept on smashing. Every day until that mule kicked him in the chest and killed him.
[Tyrion notices a beetle on the floor. He picks it up, puts it back down and leaves it unharmed]
Tyrion: So what do you think? Why did he do it? What was it all about?
Jaime: I don't know.
[they hear bells tolling. Jaime stands and starts walking out of the cell]
Jaime: Good luck today.
[Jaime leaves]

Jaime: [his lightly-clad 'niece' is sitting there with Prince Trystane] Princess Myrcella.
Myrcella: Uncle.
Jaime: What a lovely dress.
Myrcella: You don't like it?
[shakes her head]
Jaime: You must be cold.
Myrcella: Not at all. The Dornish climate agrees with me.

Jaime: If you surrender, I'll spare the loves of your men. On my honor.
Brynden: Your honor? Bargaining with oathbreakers is like building on quicksand.

Jaime: You weren't Renly's type, I'm afraid. He preferred curly-haired little girls like Loras Tyrell. You're far too much man for him.
Brienne: I'm not interested in foul rumors.
Jaime: Unless they're about me. It's all true about Renly. His proclivities were the worst kept secret at court. It's a shame the throne isn't made out of cocks, they'd have never got him off it.
Brienne: Shut your mouth!
Jaime: I don't blame him. And I don't blame you, either. We don't get to choose who we love.

Jaime: Fuck prophecy. Fuck fate. Fuck everyone who isn't us.

Tyrion: [watching Jaime on the battlefield] Flee, you idiot.
[Jaime charges at Daenerys, who is lying next to stricken Drogon, with a spear]
Tyrion: You idiot. You fucking idiot.
Jaime: [spurring on his horse] Come on, boy.
[on a gallop]
Jaime: Come on.

Tyrion: The charms of the North seem entirely lost on you.
Cersei: I still can't believe you're going. It's ridiculous, even for you.
Tyrion: Where's your sense of wonder? The greatest structure ever built, the intrepid men of the Night's Watch, the wintry abode of the White Walkers.
Jaime: Tell me you're not thinking of taking the black.
Tyrion: And go celibate? The whores would go begging from Dorne to Casterly Rock. No, I just want to stand on top of the wall and piss off the edge of the world.

[Jaime is visiting Tyrion in his cell]
Jaime: To tell you the truth, this isn't so bad. Four walls. A pot to piss in. I was chained to a wooden post, covered in my own shit, for months.
Tyrion: Is that supposed to make me feel better?
Jaime: Maybe a bit.
[pause]
Jaime: I'm sorry I didn't come sooner.
Tyrion: It's complicated, yes. So how is our sister?
Tyrion: How do you think? Her son died in her arms.
Tyrion: "Her" son?
Jaime: [quietly] Don't.

Brienne: What are you doing?
Jaime: What?
Brienne: We have never had a conversation last this long without you insulting me.

Jaime: I owe you a debt.
Brienne: When Catelyn Stark released you, we both made a promise to her. Now it's your promise. You gave your word. Keep it and consider the debt paid.
Jaime: [nods solemnly] I will return the Stark girls to their mother. I swear it.
Brienne: [nods] Good-bye, Ser Jaime.

Jaime: Your queen will execute you for this?
Tyrion: Tens of thousands of innocent lives, one not particularly innocent dwarf. Seems like a fair trade.

Jaime: I think we can outfox a ten year old.
Cersei: And my husband?
Jaime: I'll go to war with him if I have to... they can write a ballad about us, "The War for Cersei's Cunt!"
[Cersei slaps Jaime. He chuckles, and she tries to slap him again, but he grabs her arm and holds her from behind, firmly but gently]
Cersei: Let me go...
Jaime: Never.
Cersei: Let me go...
Jaime: [whispers reassuringly in Cersei's ear] The boy won't talk. And if he does, I'll kill him, Ned Stark, the king, the whole bloody lot of them until you and I are the only people left in this world.
[Cersei and Jaime quietly sink into a loving embrace]

Jaime: [to Tyrion] When have I ever been able to convince Cersei of anything?

Jaime: Get word to the Blackfish. I want to parley.
Bronn: Parley or a fight?
Jaime: He's an old man.
Bronn: And you've got one hand. My money's on the old boy.

- Maybe I'll come visit you sometime.
- Maybe I'll come visit you.
- Don't wait too long.
- Got a noblewoman to marry back home.
- You want a good girl, but you need the bad pussy.
Jaime: Whenever you're ready, my lord.

[Jaime has been recaptured after his escape attempt]
Rickard: Stand back! I want his head!
[the Stark guards draw their swords]
Rickard: Any man who stands between a father and his vengeance asks for death!
Catelyn: Lord Karstark! This man is our prisoner.
Rickard: This monster killed my son.
Catelyn: And crippled mine! He will answer for his crimes, I promise you, but not here.
Rickard: I will have his head, and if you try and stop me...
Catelyn: You will strike me down? Have you forgotten me, ser? I am the widow of you liege lord, Eddard Stark! I am the mother of your king!
Rickard: And where is our king now?
Catelyn: You know very well! He has gone to the Crag to accept the surrender!
Rickard: Aye, gone to the Crag. But not to negotiate. He brought that foreign bitch with him.
Catelyn: How dare you!
Brienne: [drawing her sword] Threatening my lady is an act of treason!
Rickard: Treason! How can it be treason to kill Lannisters?
Catelyn: I understand your grief, my lord. Better than most, I understand it. But in the name of my son, the King in the North, stand down!
Rickard: When your son returns, I will demand this murderer's head.
Catelyn: Wise men do not make demands of kings.
Rickard: Fathers who love their sons do. I will have his head.
[Rickard Karstark stalks away]
Jaime: Thank you for fighting on my behalf, Lady Stark. I would've come to your defense, but...
[Jaime holds up his chained wrists]
Catelyn: [to the guards] Take him to the stockade. Bind him with every chain you can find!
Jaime: You've become a real she-wolf in your later years. There's not much fish left in you.
Catelyn: And gag him!

Jaime: You know the first thing I learned in the North? I hate the fucking North.
Brienne: It grows on you.
Jaime: I don't want things growing on me!

[Bronn meets Jaime in an isolated place for training]
Jaime: My brother tells me you can keep your mouth shut. Unusual talent for a sellsword.
Bronn: He tells me you shit gold. Just like your father.
Jaime: Is this place safe?
[Jaime throws Bronn a pouch of money. Bronn opens the pouch and examines its contents]
Bronn: There's this knight, uh, Leygood. Got thunderbolts on his shield?
Jaime: Uh-huh.
Bronn: Right here is where I fuck his wife. She's a screamer, that one. If they don't hear her, they won't hear us.
[Jaime unsheathes his sword]
Bronn: [whistles] I've never seen Valyrian steel before. She's a beauty. Problem is, if you fight with an edged blade, I'll have to. And if I fight with an edged blade, I'll have no one left to pay me.
[Bronn pulls out two blunted training swords and drops one on the ground]
Jaime: [grumpily] I haven't used a sparring sword since I was nine.
[Jaime reaches down to pick up his sword, but Bronn swats it out of his hand]
Jaime: Ahh! Bold warrior you are, attacking a man when his guard's down.
Bronn: Best time to attack a man!
[Jaime barely has time to pick up his sword, before Bronn lunges at him. They spar for a few seconds, before Bronn pushes Jaime into a wall]
Bronn: Mind yourself.
Jaime: If I still had my right hand...
Bronn: Plan on growing it back?
[they continue to spar; Bronn almost knocks Jaime over, and Jaime waves him off. Breathing heavily, Jaime repositions himself with a determined look on his face]
Jaime: Come on, then.
[they resume sparring]

Jaime: If your gods are real, if they're just, why is the world so full of injustice?
Catelyn: Because of men like you.
Jaime: There are no men like me. Only me.

Tyrion: Should I explain the meaning of a closed door in a whorehouse, brother?
Jaime: You've much to teach me, no doubt, but our sister craves your attention.
Tyrion: She has odd cravings, our sister.
Jaime: A family trait.

Jaime: You know what's coming?
Tyrion: Mm, my trial for regicide, yes, I know. I know the whole bloody country thinks I'm guilty. I know that one of my three judges has wished me dead more times than I can count, and that judge is my father. As for Cersei, well, she's probably working on a way to avoid a trial altogether by having me killed.
Jaime: Now that you mention it, she did ask.
Tyrion: So should I turn around and close my eyes?
Jaime: Depends. Did you do it?
[Tyrion looks at Jaime for a moment]
Tyrion: "The Kingslayer Brothers". You like it? I like it.
[pause]
Tyrion: You're really asking if I killed your son?
Jaime: Are you really asking if I'd kill my brother?
Jaime: How can I help you?
Tyrion: Well, you can set me free.
Jaime: You know I can't.
Tyrion: Then there's really nothing else to say.
Jaime: What do you want me to do? Kill the guards? Sneak you out of the city in the back of a cart? I'm the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.
Tyrion: [sarcastically] Sorry, I'd forgotten. I'd hate for you to do something inappropriate.
Jaime: Inappropriate? You're accused of killing the king. Freeing you is treason.
Tyrion: Except I didn't do it!
Jaime: Which is why we're having a trial.
Tyrion: [scoffs] A trial! If the killer threw himself before the Iron Throne, confessed to his crimes, and gave irrefutable evidence of his guilt, it wouldn't matter to Cersei. She won't rest until my head's on a spike.
Jaime: Not just yours. She's offering a knighthood to whomever finds Sansa Stark.
Tyrion: Sansa couldn't have done this.
Jaime: She had more reason than anyone in the Seven Kingdoms. Do you think it's a coincidence she disappeared the same night Joffrey died?
Tyrion: No, but... Sansa's not a killer. Not yet, anyway.

[last lines]
[at Locke's command, two of his men hold Jaime against a stump. Locke grabs Jaime's hair, draws a large knife and holds it close to Jaime's head]
Locke: [disdainfully] You think you're the smartest man there is. That everyone alive has to bow and scrape and lick your boots.
Jaime: My father...
Locke: ...and if you get in any trouble, all you got to do is say "my father" and that's it, all your troubles are gone.
[Locke presses the point of the knife to Jaime's right eye]
Jaime: [whispers] Don't.
Locke: [teasing] Have you gotten something to say?
[Jaime groans painfully as Locke presses the knife harder]
Locke: Careful. You don't want to say the wrong thing. You're nothing without your daddy. Your daddy ain't here. Never forget that.
[Jaime sighs in relief as Locke moves the knife away and steps backward]
Locke: Here, this should help you remember!
[Locke suddenly lashes out, cutting Jaime's hand off. Jaime gapes at his severed hand, then screams in agony]

- There's another tub.
Jaime: This one suits me fine.

Euron: There's nothing quite like it, is there? The love of the people. Though I suppose you wouldn't know.
Jaime: This same mob spat at my sister not long ago. And if you turn on us, they'll cheer to see your head mounted on a spike.
Euron: Or yours. They just like severed heads, really.

[Jaime and Brienne are watching Sansa]
Brienne: There she is.
Jaime: Yes, there she is. And?
Brienne: You made a promise.
Jaime: To return the Stark girls to their mother who is now dead.
Brienne: [sharply] To keep them safe!
Jaime: Well, Arya Stark hasn't been seen since her father was killed. Where do you think she is? My money's on dead. There's a certain safety in death, wouldn't you say? And Sansa Stark is now Sansa Lannister. Bit of a complication.
Brienne: A "complication" does not release you from a vow.
Jaime: What do you want me to do? Kidnap my sister-in-law? And take her where? Where would she be safer than here?
Brienne: Look me in the eye and tell me that you think she'll be safe in King's Landing.
Jaime: [winces] Are you sure we're not related? Ever since I've returned, every Lannister I've seen has been a miserable pain in my ass. Maybe you're a Lannister, too. You've got the hair for it if not the looks.
[Jaime walks away. Brienne pauses for a moment, then follows him]

Cersei: What if Jon Arryn told someone?
Jaime: But who would he tell?
Cersei: My husband.
Jaime: If he told the king, both our heads would be skewered on the city gates by now. Whatever Jon Arryn knew or didn't know, it died with him.

[Dickon rides toward Jaime and Bronn]
Dickon: Ser Jaime.
Jaime: Rickon.
Dickon: Dickon.
[Bronn bursts out laughing. Dickon looks offended]

Jaime: When we make camp tonight, you'll be raped. More than once. None of these men have ever been with a noblewomen. You'd be wise not to resist.
Brienne: Would I?
Jaime: They'll knock your teeth out.
Brienne: You think I care about my teeth?
Jaime: No, I don't think you care about your teeth. If you fight them, they will kill you, do you understand? I'm the prisoner of value, not you.

[Jaime gives Brienne his new sword. Brienne examines it]
Brienne: Valyrian steel.
Jaime: Mmm. It's yours.
Brienne: [gapes] I can't accept this...
Jaime: It was reforged from Ned Stark's sword. You'll use it to defend Ned Stark's daughter. You swore an oath to return the Stark girls to their mother. Lady Stark's dead. Arya's probably dead, too, but there's still a chance to find Sansa and get her somewhere safe.

Jaime: [wondering if Tyrion was responsible for Joffrey's death] D'you think he did it?
Bronn: Nah... he hated the little twat, sure. Who didn't?

- I murdered people so I could be here with you.
- You took too long.
- I...
- What are you saying?
- You took too long.
- Come in.
Jaime: Go away.
- Forgive me, your grace.
- You told me to come at once if there was anything important.

Tyrion: [re Jamie's big lady love] I'm happy. I'm happy that you're happy. I'm happy that you're finally going to have to climb for it. Do you know how long I've waited to tell tall-person jokes?
Jaime: To climbing mountains.
Tyrion: To climbing mountains.

[Bronn has just saved Jaime from drowning, after first saving him from being burned alive. They make it to the shore, vomit water and lie on their backs, gasping heavily]
Jaime: You could have killed me.
Bronn: The fuck were you doing back there?
Jaime: [referring to Daenerys] Ending the war. Killing her.
Bronn: You saw the dragon between you and her? And...?
[Jaime pushes himself upward to a sitting position. Bronn does the same]
Bronn: Listen to me, cunt. Till I get what I'm owed, a dragon doesn't get to kill you. You don't get to kill you. Only I get to kill you.

Jaime: [referring to Drogon] That was only one of them. She has two more. If she decides to use them, to *really* use them...
Bronn: You're fucked.
Jaime: Don't you mean we're fucked?
Bronn: No, I do not. Dragons are where our partnership ends.

Jaime: You don't need a king.
- Any knight can make another knight.
- I'll prove it.
- Kneel, lady brienne.
Jaime: Do you want to be a knight or not?
- Kneel.

Myrcella: You looked different when I left. You had more hair.
Jaime: [dryly] And more hands.

Jaime: Robert will choose a new Hand of the King, someone to do his job while he's off fucking boars and hunting whores... or is it the other way around?