The Best Jaleel White Quotes

Steve: Hi, Al. I heard about you and Roger. You know, you shouldn't let it bother you.
Al: Here we go again. I am sick of getting advice about being dumped from people who have never been dumped.
Steve: [long pause] Are you kidding? Why, being dumped is my career! If there was a 'Being Dumped' Hall of Fame, I'd be elected on the first ballot.

Jesse: Steve... Steve, Steve-o. I can't help but notice that you walk like you still have the hanger in your shirt.
Steve: Oh, well, thank you.
Jesse: You're welcome. Steve, I'd like to help you because, uh, quite frankly, you need help. See, when you're walking, you gotta kinda be loose, man, like let it be cool.
[starts to slowly bounce]
Jesse: [Steve starts to bounce slowly]
Jesse: That's it. Loosen up, be very fluid. Be very fluid-y. That's it! Now... once you get it going, you shift the weight and you go.
[starts walking]
Jesse: And it's a strut, and it's cool, and it's a strut, and it's cool. See? Like that?
Steve: Very inspiring.
[tries to walk, but instead of a strut, he walks sidways on his toes bouncing highly]
Jesse: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, uh, that's close.
Steve: Really? Well, oh. Well, that was a walk on the wild side. But, you should ty it with your elbows out. It's much better for circulation.
Jesse: Oh, really? Like this?
[sticks elbows out]
Steve: Yeah.
[Jesse starts to walk]
Steve: You're doing fine.
Jesse: You, know? I do feel the blood flowing better.
Steve: Yeah.
Jesse: It's very - WHAT AM I DOING?
Steve: Well, here's another fun way to kill time. Let's share a life story. I'll go first. I was born on a cold night in Chicago, 1976, the year of America's bicenntinal. My mom was in a great deal of pain and I was charging through! And...
Jesse: Uh, I think I hear the girls in the kitchen. Why, don't you just go and... yeah. Right in the kitchen area.

Michelle: [after meeting Steve Urkel] Why you talk like Mickey Mouse?
Steve: That's 'cause I was born in Chicago.

Gene the Genie: Magic's got nothing over the power of a big name guest star.