The Best Joseph Joestar Quotes

[the baby falls into a pond and Josuke can't see her]
Joseph: [cuts his hand] Josuke... if this kills me, please give my regards to your mother. I am quite old, after all.
Josuke: What the hell are you doing?
Joseph: Adding color to the water so that we can trace the baby.
[It works, and the baby is found]
Josuke: Why would he do this for a baby, for someone he doesn't even know?
Joseph: I just wanted to look cool, in front of my boy.
[Josuke smiles at his father, and helps him up]

[repeated line]
Joseph: [activates his Stand] Hermit Purple!

[repeated line]
Joseph: Oh My God!

Joseph: [feeling the baby] Josuke... this is a girl.
Josuke: Yeah, you can tell if it's a boy or a girl by feeling between the legs.
[Both laugh. Beat, then Josuke chases Joseph with his stick]

[Jotaro revives his grandfather with Dio's corpse]
Jotaro: Old man?
Joseph: [evil laugh] You fool, Jotaro!
Jotaro: It can't be!
Joseph: Thanks to you, I live again!
Jotaro: [activates his Stand] You bastard!
Joseph: WAIT! Wait, Jotaro! A joke, a joke! It's a joke! I'm sorry, I was just messing with you a little. It's really me!
[shows off his Stand]
Joseph: Look, my name is Joseph Joestar. I was born in September 27 1920. My wife's name is Suzi Q. I like to read comic books.
Jotaro: Who was the female lead in the 1981 film "Tarzan the Ape Man"?
Joseph: Bo Derek!
Jotaro: Who sang "Eat It", the parody of "Beat It"?
Joseph: Al Yankovic!
Jotaro: Yare yare daze... I guess only you would know useless stuff like that.