The Best Kano Quotes

Kano: Uh, you got a pen? You want to write this down? Get fucked. 'Cause I'm not gonna help you. You kidnapped me. You tied me up. You threw a knife through my fucking leg, on purpose. And then that lizard thing took off half my face. Lucky for me, you can hardly notice it.

Sonya: How do you plan on getting us there?
Kano: I've got a friend with a plane.
Cole: You've got friends?
Kano: Hey, fuck you, pretty boy. I'm a popular guy. Everyone loves me.

Kano: [to Kung Lao] Well, how about I take that stupid fucking sombrero you're wearing, shove it so far up your ass, you start speaking Spanish.

Cole: [as Kano is drawing a picture of himself killing Reptile] What are you doing?
Kano: Just working on a Kano graphic novel. I fancy myself a bit of an artist.
Cole: He's a psychopath.
Kano: Well, all the best artists are a little twisted, mate.

Kano: [fighting Sonya] You owe me 3 million dollars!

Kano: [to Sonya] I think I know what's going on here. You're jealous, girlie, of my little marking.
[Sonya ignores him; Kano shoves her]
Kano: Hey, I'm talking to you. If you want it so much, all you got to do is kill me. Take it. Now, come on. What do you say? You want to dance?

Sonya: I was tracking another champion. I was lucky enough to find Kano here instead. Right after he slit the guy's throat.
Kano: You know, next time be more punctual.

[Sonya throws a knife at Reptile, but hits Kano]
Kano: The fuck was that? That was my knife, too! Fucking poetry.

Sonya: [describing Kano to Cole] He's a mercenary with The Black Dragon clan. Arms dealer, drug runner, murder-for-hire, scum of the Earth.
Kano: I also give really good foot massages.

Kano: Alright, just circling back on those superpowers. I think I get it now. It's kinda like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get. Is it gonna be fireballs? Is it gonna be lightning? Huh? Could be shit. Could be a Frisbee hat, you know? No offense, whoever you are.
Kung: The name is Kung Lao. Descendant of the Great Kung Lao. The grand champion of the Order of Light.
Kano: Never heard of him.

Kano: [tears Reptile's heart out] Kano wins. You fuckin' beauty.

Liu: [to Kano about Kung Lao] Let me ask you this. Why would you jeopardize the goodwill of the only chance of your survival?
Kano: Princess, why don't you try being one of them silent monks?
Liu: No, no, you misunderstand. He is here to save you because you cannot save yourself.
Kano: Oh fuck, here we go...
Liu: You're like... an aggressive little bunny. Soft and useless. Angry mentally, physically.
[gestures to Kung Lao]
Liu: You should be on your knees before this man.
Kano: [standing up] I've a better idea. How about you two get on your knees and take turns sucking my sack? Do you have any fucking idea who you're talking to? I'm wanted in over 35 countries for shit you fucking ballerinas couldn't even imagine!

Kabal: This is fucking tragic. Look at yourself. You used to be someone to fear. You've fallen down a long way since you led the Black Dragon.
Kano: You don't tell me about the Black Dragon. I am the Black Dragon!
Kabal: Which one's your boss? Let me guess, the blonde?
Kano: Is that mask cutting off your air supply, you dumb prick? I don't take orders from anyone, Kabal!
Kabal: Then, you're on the wrong side. Fight with us and you could have more money than you know what to do with. Hell, you could turn this old temple into your own casino if you wanted to. Just name your price, then double it and double it again. What are you waiting for, asshole?
Kano: So, what would I need to do?

Sonya: You were never chosen. Fate has better standards than you.
Kano: Lucky for you I don't have any standards.

Kano: There I was trying to shove this guy's nuts down his throat. And all I kept thinking about for me mum for Christmas?
Cargo: Your mom's been dead for 30 fucking years, mate.
Kano: Kid can dream. Can't he?

Liu: You're angry.
Kano: Oh, fucking nothing gets by you, does it?
Liu: Good. You should be.
Kung: You failure.
Kano: Failure? Fucking failure? Let me educate you, motherfucker. I'm Kano! I'm the Black fucking Dragon! And who are you two, huh? You're some fucking cave-dwelling hippie twirling his anal beads, taking orders from this Wushu wanker who wears a hubcap as a helmet! Now, sit down, shut up and pass me a fucking egg roll!

Liu: There are not many of us with the marking left, so you must train harder and fast. Because if you fail to discover your inner power, you will never defeat your opponent. They will ravage everything you hold dear. There will be no mercy. You must fight without question. The Dragon has swallowed many before us.
[to Kano, who has stolen Shinnok's amulet during his speech]
Liu: Now, put that back.
Kano: Put what back?

Kano: A laser beam! It's better than fireballs, you pussy!

Kung: I'll dumb it down for you. Fat lazy pig.
Kano: What did you say?
Kung: Terrible fighter... zero skill.
Kano: You got a death wish, mate?
Kung: Combat takes intelligence, but you... You're like a dog. A dog who fails his training classes.