The Best Kevin Dobson Quotes

Lt. Theo Kojak: It's coming off tonight.
Det. Bobby Crocker: What is?
Lt. Theo Kojak: Eh... Pick a card, any card.

Lt. Theo Kojak: For your information, sonny boy, most Americans don't have a yellow sheet.
Det. Bobby Crocker: Thank you, would you keep reminding me, Lieutenant, it's my only hook into reality.

Det. Bobby Crocker: [shouting at Ibbotson] We'll have you back inside so fast, your underwear will have to take the next train!

Lt. Theo Kojak: We could save ourselves a plethora of surprises.
Det. Bobby Crocker: What the hell is plethora?
Lt. Theo Kojak: Follow me. We'll get a library card.

Detective: George Mastin. He used to make obscene phone calls.
Mastin: That was a long time ago!
Detective: Then his phone bill got too big, so he started putting his money into property.
Det. Bobby Crocker: That right, Georgie?
Mastin: I own a few buildings...

Det. Bobby Crocker: There's a patrolman bringing in, eh, the stone cutter they fired. The guy's a lush alright, you get bombed just reading his yellow sheet!

Lt. Theo Kojak: It seems to me they had an observation report a couple of weeks ago on the... Lumpjaws, and a few of the other fences.
Det. Bobby Crocker: It's probably in the round file. Nobody ever looks there.
Lt. Theo Kojak: Well, ask Bannerman, he saves string.

Lt. Theo Kojak: Here, get your hat and coat. We just got a break.
Det. Bobby Crocker: [off screen] An arm or a leg?
Lt. Theo Kojak: A neck: Cleveland's.

Det. Bobby Crocker: Are you sure you don't come from a lot of money?
Sally: Both my parents are dead, all I have is a sister, the other half of our act.
Det. Bobby Crocker: What act?
Sally: We're the only topless twin magicians in the world.
Det. Bobby Crocker: Twin?
Sally: Yeah.
Det. Bobby Crocker: Magician?
Sally: Yeah.
Det. Bobby Crocker: Topless?
Sally: [laughing] Yeah.

Lt. Theo Kojak: CROCKER! Make a note. I want this joint busted often, and I want it busted HARD!
[storms out of the nightclub]
Nightclub: Why is he so mad?
Det. Bobby Crocker: Because you didn't tell him what he wanted to hear.

Det. Bobby Crocker: Hey, what's with the lollypops?
Lt. Theo Kojak: I'm looking to close the generation gap. Get outa here!

Det. Bobby Crocker: You know Bannerman really does save string? There's a whole ball of it in his desk. Including every report since Dutch Schultz.

Lt. Theo Kojak: I want the tax returns and bank statements on Donnelly for the past two years.
Det. Bobby Crocker: Lieutenant, it's Sunday.
Lt. Theo Kojak: Well you make believe it's Friday! And have somebody at the bank agree with you.
Det. Bobby Crocker: Right on.

Ensign: Red Fox Leader from Kit 3. Red Fox Leader from Kit 3. Skipper? Either my compass is all fouled up or we're not headed two-four-zero.
Lieutenant: There's nothing out there but empty ocean. I know where the Japs'll be, Mister Gay.
Ensign: Think you might let us in on it, sir?
Lieutenant: I figure they moved since we launched. East, heading out, away from Midway. OUT!
Ensign: Roger.
Huntington: What good's our orders if the skipper's gonna lead us off on his own? I don't like it, sir.
Ensign: Huntington, now you take it easy, y'hear? If anybody can find the Zekes, Waldron can. He's part Sioux Indian, for Christ's sake.