The Best Lance Quotes

Lance: [answering the phone] Hello.
Vincent: Lance! It's Vincent. I'm in big fuckin' trouble, man. I'm coming to your house.
Lance: Whoa. Whoa. Hold your horses, man. What's the problem?
Vincent: I've got this chick, she fuckin' O.D.in' on me!
Lance: Well, don't bring her here! I'm not even fuckin' joking with you, man! Do not be bringing some fucked-up pooh-bah to my house!
Vincent: No choice.
Lance: She's O.D.in'?
Vincent: She's fuckin' dyin' on me, man!
Lance: Okay, then you bite the fuckin' bullet, take her to a hospital and call a lawyer.
Vincent: Negative.
Lance: This is not my fuckin' problem, man! You fucked her up, you fuckin' deal with this!

Lance: If you're all right, then say something.
Mia: Something.

Lance: You're going to give her an injection of adrenaline directly to her heart. But she's got, uh, breastplate...
[taps Mia's chest]
Lance: So you gotta pierce through that. So what you have to do is, you have to bring the needle down in a stabbing motion.
[demonstrates]
Vincent: I-I gotta stab her three times?
Lance: No, you don't gotta fucking stab her three times! You gotta stab her once, but it's gotta be hard enough to break through her breastplate into her heart, and then once you do that, you press down on the plunger.
Vincent: What happens after that?
Lance: I'm kinda curious about that myself...

Lance: Hey, whattya think about Trudi? She ain't got a boyfriend. You wanna hang out, get high?
Vincent: Which one's Trudi? The one with all the shit in her face?
Lance: No, that's Jody. That's my wife.