The Best Laura Spencer Quotes

Emily: All my friends love this story. They call you Clogzilla.
Raj: [laughs] Get it? Because you clogged up her bathroom like a radioactive monster.

Emily: Don't worry. She's in Palm Springs.
Raj: Oh good.
Emily: Well, her torso is.

Raj: So you have tattoos?
Emily: Yeah.
Raj: I don't. I have a hole in my belly button that may or may not have been a piercing.
Emily: That's cool.
Raj: It's a piercing. So how many tattoos?
Emily: One on my shoulder, one not on my shoulder and one REALLY not on my shoulder.
Raj: It's been a long time since I've seen a girl's "really not my shoulder".
Emily: Well, how about you show me your piercing and I show you my tattoos?
[Kiss]
Raj: But before I take my shirt off I need like ten minutes to do some crunches.

Emily: That's kind of adorable.
Raj: Are you sure? Because this is the part of the night where I've said something stupid and the girl usually leaves.
Emily: I'm still here.
Raj: Yeah, but now you make me wonder what's wrong with you.

Emily: Your friend e-mailed me because you were afraid to so you tracked me down and acted like a lunatic.

Penny: OK, good night guys.
Emily: Bye.
[Both women together]
Penny,31188: I hate her.

Raj: This reminds me of home.
Emily: You worked at a kitchen?
Raj: I was in India. It was humid and smelled funny.

[last lines]
Emily: So, I hear you guys have been playing a little game.
Howard: Well, um, we were just kidding around.
Emily: Well, you may think it's funny that Raj is sweet and sensitive, but I think it's sexy.
[kisses Raj]
Emily: Ugh, why is there dog hair in your mouth?

Bernadette: [noticing Emily's tattoo] That's a neat tattoo.
Emily: Oh, thanks. It's Sally from "Nightmare Before Christmas".
Bernadette: Aw, that movie's so cute.
Howard: Do you like her because you both have red hair?
Emily: A little, but more that she's covered with scars and can pull her own limbs off and sew them back on.
Bernadette: [awkward pause] I like "Cinderella".
Emily: Did you know in the original book the sisters cut their toes off with knives in order to fit in the glass slipper?
Bernadette: [looking uneasy] I like "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo".

Bernadette: So Emily. Why did you decide to specialize in dermatology?
Emily: I like cutting people with knives, and all the other jobs where you get to do that are illegal.
Bernadette: You're kidding, right?
Raj: She's scary, but it's a cute scary.

Penny: Okay, I'm sorry. Did we get off on the wrong foot? Because since like the other night, I kind of feel like you might have a problem with me.
Emily: No, it's fine.
Penny: Are you sure because it doesn't feel fine.
Emily: Are you sure you want to talk about this? Okay. If you really want to talk about this, I do have a problem.
Penny: Oh my God. Tell me, what did I do?
Emily: Look it's nothing. It's just... Raj told me a while back you two hooked up.
Penny: What? Oh why would he say that?
Emily: Did it not happen?
Penny: Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a hook-up.
Emily: Did you kiss?
Penny: Yeah.
Emily: We're you naked?
Penny: Yeah.
Emily: So it was a hook-up.
Penny: No.
[pause]
Penny: Yeah.

Emily: Have you ever been to an escape room?
Leonard: What's that?
Emily: It's like interactive theater, but with puzzles. There's one downtown where you're trapped in a room with a zombie.
Raj: Kind of like what Penny is doing right now.

Penny: I hear you're a dermatologist.
Emily: Uh, yeah. I'm a resident at Huntington Hospital.
Sheldon: Oh I like their emergency room. Even if it turns out you don't have dengue fever, they still let you take home a lollipop.

Emily: You aren't scared, are you?
Raj: Of ghosts, no. Of you, little bit.

Sheldon: I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an an appointment for you to look at them?
Emily: Um, OK. I guess.
Amy: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with him two minutes and he's taking his pants off.

[last lines]
Sheldon: Are you relieved that you and Raj were able to patch things up?
Emily: At the moment, no, not really.

[first lines]
Penny: Hey, so I saw a movie trailer the other day. How could Batman possibly fight Superman? Isn't that dumb!
Bernadette: Maybe he uses kryptonite.
Emily: Well, Batman's got a lot of money; maybe he builds a suit that can do everything Superman can do.
Penny: No no no no no, I've seen that movie. It's called "Iron Man".
[the guys are stupefied]
Leonard: What is happening?
Howard: I don't know.
Raj: But it's beautiful.
Penny: Now Ben Affleck as Batman.
Emily: Oh, he was great in "Shakespeare in Love".
Penny: Ooh, we should watch that next girls' night.
Bernadette: We could do a double feature with the Leonardo DiCaprio "Romeo and Juliet".
Penny: Oh, I love me some Leo.
Leonard: And it's gone.

- Hello.
Emily: Hey, it's Emily.
- Is this a good time?
- Yeah, yeah, sure. What's up?
- Was it okay I left that gift?
- I'm really hoping we can be friends.
- Maybe, maybe.
- Um, you think you'd wanna grab a cup of coffee?

Raj: Here we go. 'House of 1000 Corpses'.
Emily: Now, just so you know, I was a nanny for three years, so if you get scared I can totally change your diaper.
Raj: Actually, I have to tell you something. These kind of movies really aren't my thing, so... last night I watched it, just to see what I was getting myself into.
Emily: Okay...
Raj: And I have to be honest; I thought it was disturbing and weird. And it made me wonder what it says about someone who enjoys it.
Emily: I wonder that too.
Raj: Then, why do you watch these things?
Emily: Can I tell you something without you judging me?
Raj: Sure.
Emily: They kinda turn me on.
Raj: And play.

Raj: Look, I care about you a lot, but we are very different people.
Emily: Are you breaking up with me?
Raj: No, no, I'm just pointing out that you're dark on the inside and I'm dark on the outside.

Emily: [as they leave Sheldon behind] I know he's a jerk, but I actually feel bad for him.
Penny: And now you see the problem.