The Best Lt. Sherby Quotes

Kaffee: [to his teamates in the outfield] Alright, let's go, let's get two.
Lt. Sherby: Sorry!
Kaffee: Nothing to be sorry about, Sherby, you just look the ball into your glove. Shootin' two!
Lt. Sherby: Sorry!
Kaffee: Sherby, you gotta trust me, you keep your eyes open and your chances of catching ball increase by a factor of 10.
Lieutenant: [talking through the batting cage fence] Kaffee.
Kaffee: Let's try it again.
Lieutenant: Kaffee!
Kaffee: Dave, you seem distraught.
Lieutenant: We were supposed to meet in your office fifteen minutes ago to talk about the McDermont case. You're stalling on this thing. We get this done right now, or I mean it, Kaffee, I'm going to hang your boy from a fuckin' yardarm!
Kaffee: Yardarm? Sherby, does the Navy still hang people from Yardarms?
Lt. Sherby: I don't think so.
Kaffee: Dave, Sherby doesn't think the Navy hang people from yardarms anymore.
Lieutenant: I'm going to charge him with possession and being under the influence while on duty. You plead guilty, I recommend thirty days in the brig with loss of rank and pay.
Kaffee: It was oregano, Dave. It was ten dollars' worth of oregano.
Lieutenant: Yeah, but your client thought it was marijuana.
Kaffee: My client's a moron. That's not against the law.
Lieutenant: Kaffee, I have people to answer to, just like you do. I'm going to charge him.
Kaffee: With what? Possession of a condiment?
Lieutenant: Kaffee...
Kaffee: Dave, I tried to help you out of this, but if you ask for jail time, I'm going to file a motion to dismiss.
Kaffee: You won't get it.
Kaffee: I will get it. And if the MTD is denied, I'll file a motion in limine seeking to obtain an evidentary ruling in advance, and after that I'm going to file against pretrial confinement, and you're going to spend the next three months going blind on paperwork because a Signalman Second Class bought and smoked a dime bag of oregano.
Lieutenant: B misdemeanor, twenty days in the brig.
Kaffee: C misdemeanor, fifteen days restricted duty.