The Best Margene Heffman Quotes

Nicolette: Is that Ben?
Margene: And that must be Brynn. What do we do?
Nicolette: This...
[Nicki beeps the car horn]
Margene: Nicki. Stop it.
[beeps again]
Margene: Stop it!
[beeps again]
Margene: Stop it!
Nicolette: This is why mothers shouldn't work.
Margene: We don't work.
Nicolette: Barb should be at home.
Margene: We're at home.
Margene: Hi! Ah, we told your mom we'd pick you up. She had a ton of papers to grade.
Ben: Oh, ah, well... OK. Um, everybody, this is Brynn.
Margene: Hi.
Nicolette: I'm Lucy. This is Ethel.
Ben: These are my neighbors.
Margene: So where can we take you, Brynn?
Brynn: Um, Sandy Points Drive, off South State.
[Margie gestures toward the back seat of the car]
Brynn: Thanks.
Margene: Sorry about the sod.
Brynn: That's OK.
Nicolette: Watch out for grubs.

Margene: Me, Bill, Nicki. You, Bill, Nicki. Nicki, Bill, you on account of Nicki already being dead.
Barb: See. Simple, simple.

Nicolette: So, we met Brynn.
Barb: You did?
Margene: Yeah, and she wants to meet you.
Barb: Well, I've set it up three different times with Ben, and every time he's weaseled out of it, so...
Nicolette: He's probably afraid for you to meet her.
[Margie whispers]
Margene: They were kissing behind the track.
[Whispers softer]
Margene: Really kissing.
Barb: So did you say something to him about it?
Nicolette: No, I'm not sure we share the same values on these things.

[talking to Bill who is asleep]
Margene: Hey? You awake? Maybe we could go to the movie theatre with the big chairs that rock back and forth? It's more expensive, but it's worth it. They serve salads. We need Windex.

Margene: Bill, when I married into this family I guess I must have thought I was just marrying you. And now I realise I was marrying all of you. I was marrying sisters... my sisters. That was my choice, and I'd make that choice all over again right now. And I know, I know I've made a lot of mistakes lately, and... alright, maybe always... but I can get better. I will, because, because I wanna be with you guys forever too. Cause I love you guys and I need you guys. And I never ever wanted to not be in this family, here or in heaven.

Margene: [telling her mother about Nicki and Barb, who she says are her neighbors] They're very conservative. We don't drink.
Virginia: You're kidding! I brought 2 bottles of Stoli.
Margene: [slightly shocked] I'm pregnant, Ma!
Virginia: Just an old wives tale.

Margene: I am happy. I love you both so much.
Nicolette: You're overheated. Put on a hat.

Margene: I don't even know his sizes. I am a terrible wife. I should have never married your father. And your mother.
Sarah: And Nicki.
Margene: Especially Nicki.