The Best Mr. Fitz Quotes

Mrs. Puff: That's impossible. In all my years of teaching, only one student has ever failed my class.
Mr. Fitz: Yes, but he's failed it one million, fifty-six thousand, fifty-seven times.

Sergeant: You must all observe the rules of my class. Rule one: no talking.
Student: Does that mean...?
[Sergeant Roderick picks up student, throws student through wall]
Sergeant: Rule two: no eating in class.
[Pulls out box of bon-bons]
Sergeant: Would anyone care for a bon-bon?
Student: I would.
[Others gasp]
Sergeant: Pick your favorite.
[Student eats bon-bon]
Sergeant: How's it taste?
Student: It's a delightful taste sensation...
Sergeant: [Picks up student] NO EATING IN MY CLASSROOM!
[Throws student through wall]