Top 20 Quotes From Neal Gamby

Neal: [from trailer] It makes me *sick* just looking at all three of you...
[pause]
Neal: Sick to my stomach!

Neal: Dayshawn, look, what you do is very important here, okay? And when I become principal, I'm gonna make sure you finally get the respect you're due.
Dayshawn: Now, that's what I'm talkin' about. You're gonna get us a raise?
Neal: No, no, it's not gonna be a raise. I... I'm just gonna make sure that, you know, people don't look down upon you like they do now.
Dayshawn: I didn't know anybody was looking down on me, but...
Neal: No, well, not everyone. I mean, I'm not. But you know how students look at you guys, just like, "I would never want to do that job." But I'm gonna change that image for you guys.
Dayshawn: Yeah, but if you could line up that raise...
Neal: Not gonna be a raise, Dayshawn. Don't ask again.

Lee: Yeah, just don't do that thing where you repeat a person's insult back at them. That's just the worst. And you do that all the time.
Neal: No, I don't. You do that.
Lee: Just like that. See that? That's what you just did. Don't be that person.

Dayshawn: You sad as fuck that Mr. Russell is gone. Y'all have feelings for each other. It's got to go somewhere, right?
Neal: I'm getting more crab.
Dayshawn: That crab ain't gonna help you feel better.

Neal: [from trailer] Come tomorrow, there's a brand new principal in town. His name is Neal Gamby!

Jen: [Watching Gamby angrily grade papers] Oooh... what's up, sexy. Hot Glasses.
Jen: [snickering] Having Honors student draw pictures of Frankenstein? That's so dumb, Neal.
Neal: [Removes glasses] I know it's dumb! Fuck this teacher bullshit. I'm just putting a B+ on all of them and calling it a day!
Jen: You know if you need help with any of this teaching stuff I could... come work with you.
Jen: [Whispering] I'm on different meds now. It would be better this time.
Neal: [Disgusted] Not interested...

Lee: [from trailer-unrated version] EAT SHIT, Gamby!
Neal: No, thank you. But have fun imagining it, though!

Lee: I'll tell you what, Gamby, we've got this bitch exactly where we want her. One push and she falls into the Grand Canyon.
Neal: If she can fit.
Lee: If she can fit! If she can fit!
Neal: Cause she's so big that there's no way she could probably fit.
Lee: I got it.

Neal: I'm just not really sure what we're trying to figure out here. I mean, is this what Circles is supposed to be like? We sit around on beanbags and discuss the flavor of young boys' penises?

Neal: [from trailer-unrated version] POPCORN! You think there's popcorn in bean bags in the real world? There's not! The real world is full of meanness and SHIT!

Lee: Since we're partners, it's only fair you get your share.
Neal: The fuck is this?
Lee: Those are real fuckin' diamonds set in a brooch.
Neal: Where'd you get this?
Lee: Where you think I fucking got it? Fat Albert's clubhouse.

Neal: Snodgrass!
Amanda: Yeah?
Neal: On your knees!
[to himself]
Neal: To paint the sign, not to do dick sucks.

Dayshawn: Blood leaking all over the place and shit. I mean, most of it was blood. I think you might have used the restroom on yourself, man. Front of your pants was all warm and dark.
Neal: No, that was sweat, Dayshawn.
Dayshawn: No, that was tee-tee, man.
Neal: It was not tee-tee, Dayshawn.
Dayshawn: You ain't gotta be embarrassed. So what? Your prostate went apeshit.
Neal: Can we please just move on from this?

Neal: I processed the information. Now destroy it.
Lee: Bullshit.
Neal: I have a photographic memory. I've retained the pertinent informations and discarded the rest.
Lee: Well did you memorize the part about her firing every other vice principal she's ever worked with?
Neal: W... where did it say that?
Lee: Page one! Dumbass.

Neal: Look, if I ever want to be principal again, I got to be popular. Wish you guys could be supportive and understand that.
Ray: Hume said "Patriotism and popularity are the beaten road to power and tyranny."
Neal: See? I knew Ray would understand.

Cameron: What are we doing at Bojangles'?
Neal: You are going inside and getting 12 country ham biscuits, 12 Cajun chicken fillet biscuits, and, uh, one... uh, actually, make it three steak biscuits.
Cameron: Can I at least get myself a strawberry Welch's?
Neal: No, you may not.

Lee: I bet when she get up here, she smells like fucked buttholes.
Neal: I believe that's what the children call truffle butter.

Neal: Violence is never the answer, but it is the solution

Amanda: Hey. I'm Amanda.
Ray: This the girl we've been hearing so much about?
Amanda: What?
Neal: No, I'm not talking about her. Shut the fuck up Ray.

Neal: You think there's popcorn and beanbags in the real world? There's not. The real world is full of meanness and shit!