The Best Officer Smitty Quotes

Documentary: I've heard rumours that you have insight into the QAnon angle of this case?
Officer: Have you ever tried to put toothpaste back in the tube? I know it's an expression but have you actually tried to do it? I have. It's basically impossible.
Documentary: And what do you think Q is trying to tell people with this Q drops, these cryptic messages?
Officer: I really wasn't trying to say anything. I was just typing and maybe I got a little carried away.
Documentary: Wait, what did you say?
Officer: Well, I guess now is as good a time as any to reveal that... I'm Q.
John: Smitty is Q?
Nyla: I'm sorry, what?
Sergeant: Lord, give me strength.
Lucy: What?
Officer: A lot of writers use pseudonyms. Q is my first initial, so... hey, is my name down there?
[chyron reads "Quigley Smitty, Police Officer, 'Q'"]
Lucy: But it was an accident? He - he didn't start it on purpose?
Documentary: That's what he said.
Tim: Yeah, sounds like Smitty.
Officer: I was trying to start the fan fiction club for This Is Us and things just got out of hand.
Documentary: What the hell does This Is Us fanfic have to do with a cult?
Officer: I mistakenly mixed cough syrup with diet pills when I was writing a Satanic alien story line for Jack and Rebecca. I woke up the next morning and read it; none of it made sense. But overnight I got so many followers I just went with it. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.