The Best Portman Quotes

Corporal: What the hell is that?
Goat: You never did time, Portman?
Corporal: What?
Goat: This is a holding cell.
Corporal: Bullshit. What makes you think that?
Goat: Touch it.
[Portman reaches out and gets shocked]
Goat: 'Cause the walls are electrified.
Corporal: You asshole!

Pinky: Portman, I got floor and wall on your gun cam.
Corporal: I'm taking a shit, you fucking gimp.

Corporal: Ladies, we're under a Level 5 quarantine so I'm gonna have to strip search you girls.

Sarge: [after pulling Portman out of the water] Portman, what the hell happened?
Corporal: I fell in the damn hole.

Goat: Be sober; be vigilant because your adversary the Devil walketh about seeking whom he may devour.
Corporal: That's real comforting Goat, that ain't freaking me out at all.

Corporal: [talks to Destroyer while guarding the airlock door] This is bullshit, man. I enlisted to serve my country, not get greased protecting some corporation's goddamn science project.

Corporal: [talks to The Kid on the Helicopter while en route to the Ark] You know, Kid, it's funny. A couple of days ago I asked Sarge for a little pussy. The next day he brought you onto the team.
John: Don't give me an excuse, Portman. No one here will miss you.

Corporal: We don't know what we are dealing with here. Its S.O.P. to call reinforcements when its insecu...
Sarge: WE ARE... The reinforcements.

John: [about the dead mutant's body] This is not what me and Goat shot at in Genetics.
Corporal: You mean there's more of these fucking things?

Sarge: [Talking about where the Imp came from] Is there anyway this thing came from the outside, on the surface?
Samantha: The planet is completely dead.
Corporal: It came from *some where*, lady.
Sarge: Portman, shutup.
Samantha: The atmosphere on the surface can't support life.
Corporal: Maybe it doesn't need air, it could've come from another planet or something.
Samantha: [scoffs] What, like an alien?
Corporal: LOOK AT THAT THING!
Sarge: PORTMAN, YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Corporal: I gotta take a dump.
Destroyer: What? Now?
Corporal: Unless you want me shitting my pants right here.

Corporal: I'm gonna lock myself in a motel room with a bottle of tequila and three she-boys!

Corporal: [looks down the sewer hole] I thought "being in the shit" was a figure of speech.
Sarge: Get in the goddamn hole, Portman.