50 Best Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Quotes

Goldilocks: Give us the map, or else the baker man gets it!
Jack: I don't even have the map, Little Bo Creep.
[Goldilocks throws the man at Jack]
Jack: Stop throwing my men at me!

Puss: [courts a lady] Hola, señorita. Do you like gazpacho?
[gets crushed by a stampeding bull]
Puss: [wins a poker game with dogs by cheating] This is not your night, huh, fellas?
[the dogs tear him apart]
Puss: [drunk] A cat always lands on its feet. Watch!
[walks off a tower]
Puss: [about to weight-lift] No, Puss in Boots does not need a spotter. Watch!
[gets crushed]
Puss: [about to be fired from a cannon] This will revolutionize travel. Watch!
[he is blown up]
Puss: [his face swollen from eating seafood] Excuse me, does this have shellfish in it?
[keeps eating]
Puss: [cooking] I am a master of the baking. Watch!
[opens a hot oven and is burned to death]
Puss: And then there was the giant.

[Puss meets his past eight lives]
Puss: You guys are jerks, which makes this very conflicting for me!

Little: Papa, he stepped on my face!
Little: And we will never wash it again

Puss: [after he buries his outfit at Mama Luna's] We are gathered here today to say goodbye to Puss in Boots. There are no words to express such a loss. Thank you.
[walks away, then comes back]
Puss: But it would be a crime not to try. He was known across the land by many names. The Stabby Tabby. El Macho Gato. The Leche Whisperer. To some, an outlaw. To more, a hero. To all, a legend. I was right. Words were not enough.
[walks away once again, then comes back]
Puss: But perhaps a song. Who is your favorite fearless hero?
[starts crying]
Puss: Who is your favorite fearless hero? You were, you were.

[last words]
Jack: [trapped in the wishing star] What did I do to deserve this? I mean, what specifically...?

Perrito: I'm Puss's best friend!
Puss: No, he isn't!
Perrito: And his therapy dog.
Puss: Definitely not!
Kitty: Finally! You need therapy!

Goldilocks: So long, ya plonkers!
Kitty: [In Spanish] I'm going to make you all into bath mats!

[Puss remembers his time with Kitty and Perrito]
The: What's the matter? Lives flashing before your eyes?
Puss: No... just one. I'm done running.
[Puss drops the Wishing Star map and picks up his sword]
Puss: [points his sword at the Wolf] FEAR ME IF YOU DARE!

The: [to Puss] My compliments to your cobbler.

Puss: [Perrito's tail keeps thumping him] Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here. I mean, meow. Whatever.
Perrito: Oh, sorry.
[gasps excitedly]
Perrito: You're a talking cat. *I'm* a talking cat. Let's talk!
Puss: [sighs] I'd rather eat.
Perrito: Oh, not a problem. We can eat and talk at the same time.
Puss: No hablo English.
Perrito: [in Spanish] You speak Spanish? Me too! Where are you from? Do you like naps?
Puss: I don't speak Spanish either.
Perrito: [laughs] You're funny.

Puss: I know I can never defeat you, Lobo. But I will never stop fighting for this life.

Kitty: You know, when you said Death was after you, I thought you were just being melodramatic.

Puss: Um... meow?
[the cats are shocked]
Ohhh: Ohhh...
Puss: What? Did I say something salty? It's my second language.

Goldilocks: [to Kitty] I thought you were on a spiritual retreat.
Kitty: Namaste.
Goldilocks: And you're supposed to be dead!
Puss: I got better?

Little: [the giant picks him up] Whee! I'm flying!
Puss: No, you are not flying. I will save you!
Governor: [also gets picked up by the giant] Save me, too!
Puss: If it's convenient.

Puss: What could they possibly want to offer Puss in Boots?
Perrito: What's a Puss in Boots?
Puss: Seriously?

Puss: Pray for mercy from... Puss in Boots!

Puss: [at a litterbox] So, this is where dignity goes to die.

Puss: Hey, you wanna see something cool?
[a huge bell slams into the Giant's face]

Puss: Without my nine lives, I'm not... I'm not...
Kitty: What, "The Legend"? I knew I couldn't compete with your true love.
[Throws the map at him]
Kitty: Here, get your lives back. Just keep them away from mine.
Puss: Kitty! Death is after me!

Perrito: I'm supposed to be a fearless hero; a legend, but without lives to spare, I am... nothing. I need that wish to get my lives back.
Perrito: You should tell Kitty. She would understan...
Puss: No, no, no, no. She cannot hear of this.
Perrito: [confused] Okay?
Kitty: [grunts in anger] ¿Adónde fueron ese idiota y su perro?
Puss: Kitty will never trust me again; not after Santa Coloma.
Perrito: But that's just one bad heist.
Puss: Santa Coloma wasn't a heist, Perrito. It was a church, with a priest, and guests... and Kitty. Everything but me. I ran away, then, too.
Perrito: Oh...
[begins to understand]
Perrito: Oh.
[gasps in realization]
Perrito: OH!
[whispers]
Perrito: You left her at the altar?
Puss: It was wrong, I know. I am ashamed. I just wish I hadn't hurt her so badly. I regret that day.
Perrito: So... maybe you should tell that to Kitty. Might make her feel better. Might make you feel better, too.
Kitty: [calling out] Puss? Dog? Oh, there you are.

Puss: Okay, okay, one more number. I call this one, "The Legend Will Never Di..."
[a huge bell falls on him]

Mama: [watching Goldi's memories] Oh, this was it.
Goldilocks: What was it, Mama?
Mama: The day a little orphan girl broke into our cabin and stole our hearts. The day when our world became just right.

Baby: Oy, you shut up you little mutt, or I'll cut you from pooper to snooter!
Perrito: [gasps in excitement] I'm in the mix now! Okay, okay, here we go! You're all a bunch of... knuckle-dragging, honey-scrounging, grump-
[bleeped]
Perrito: , oafish-
[bleeped]
Perrito: ,
[bleeped]
Perrito: -munching, mangy
[bleeped]
Perrito: , nugget
[bleeped]
Perrito: , and YOUR snooter!
[bursts out laughing]

The: [In Spanish] Run, run, kitty.

Puss: Okay, just get in and get out. Easy peasy.
Perrito: [appears next to Puss] Lemon squeezy!
Puss: Aah! What are you doing here?
Perrito: I brought you a sword.
Puss: That's not a sword, that's a stick!
Perrito: It's a stick sword!

Kitty: [Regarding Puss' beard] What is this? Are you a pirate now?
Puss: I think it looks... distinguished.
Kitty: It looks like a possum crawled on your face and died. Of shame.
Puss: Please mock me quietly.

Ethical: There's good in everyone! There's good in everyone!

Ethical: You're not gonna shoot a puppy, are you, Jack?
Jack: Yeah, in the face, why?

Jack: I'll get you, my kitties, and your little dog too.

Puss: [hears the Wolf's whistle] He's here for me.

Gingy: Puss, I think you set the oven too high!
Puss: I am a master of the baking. Watch.
[opens the oven door, fire explodes out and Gingy screams]

Baby: You crimin' us? After we crimed you? No, no crime backs!

Perrito: Okay, Kitty, I think I've got it now.
[tries to do cute eyes, but starts bulging his eye]
Perrito: Trust me!
Kitty: Easy, easy. You're gonna give yourself a hernia. Here, one more time. Like this.
[shows cute eyes]
Kitty: Trust me.
Perrito: Aw. But of course I trust you and Puss, even without the eyes.

The: I was there to witness all of them. Each frivolous end. But you didn't even notice me, because Puss in Boots laughs in the face of death, right? But you're not laughing now.
Puss: You are no bounty hunter. You are...
The: Death. And I don't mean it metaphorically or rhetorically or poetically or theoretically or any other fancy way. I'M DEATH. STRAIGHT UP! And I've come for you, Puss in Boots.
Puss: But... I'm still alive...
The: [chuckles] You know, I'm not really a cat person. I find the very idea of NINE lives absurd.
[angrily]
The: And you didn't value ANY of them. So why don't I do us both a favor, and take this last one now?

Pinocchio: Cause, I'm a real boy! No strings attached!
[cheering]
Pinocchio: Thank you, thank you.

Mama: I told you health department people, there are no cats here!
Goldilocks: Make her talk.
[Papa Bear goes near Mama Luna and growls in her face]
Papa: Excuse me, my darling. We're looking for the legendary Puss in Boots. Have you perhaps... seen him?
Goldilocks: Too soft.
Mama: [uses her claw to her nasal] Out with it, you old biddy, or I'll have your guts for garters.
[Mama Luna faints]
Goldilocks: Too hard! That was not just right! Oi, Baby, sniff him out.
Baby: You don't tell me what to do.
Mama: Listen to your sister, Baby.
Baby: Oh, she's not my sister! She's a fugitive orphan.
Papa: [slaps Baby Bear] She is your sister. Do what she says.
Baby: Fine, but all I can smell... is cats' pee.

[Puss is at the Wishing Star, preparing to make his wish]
Puss: Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish...
Kitty: I can't believe I fell for it again.
Puss: Kitty, you don't understand.
Kitty: Don't understand what? That you've been playing me this whole time?
Puss: I need this wish.
Kitty: Oh, yeah? You wanna know what *my* wish was? Someone, *anyone* I could trust.
[Kitty swipes the map from Puss and points her Gatito Blade at him]
Puss: Hey!
Kitty: In my whole life, I've never had that, but I thought I finally found that someone, without a wish. I thought it was you, but you're still running, still the same old Puss in Boots.
Puss: But I am not, I am not Puss in Boots. I am.. I am on my last life. I need to get my lives back. Without them, I am not... I am *not*...
Kitty: What? The legend?
[chuckles sadly]
Kitty: I still can't compete with your one true love. Go on. Get your lives back.
[Puss gasps as he grabs the map]
Kitty: Just keep them out of mine.
Perrito: [whimpers]
Puss: kitty! Death Is After Me!
Kitty: [confused] What?
Jack: I've been called a lot of things... but never Death. I like it. That's *my* wish!
Mama: Oi! That's Goldi's wish!
[Goldi, Papa Bear and Baby Bear arrive at the Star, as the final battle initiates]

Puss: Say hello to my gatito blade.

Puss: Welcome! Mi casa es su casa!
Governor: No, su casa es *mi* casa!

Baby: 'Ey, I'm gonna bust you up, plum-thumb! And then I'm gonna wear your clothes!
Jack: That was weird.

Kitty: [looks in the sky] I hate to say it... but should we make a wish?
Puss: Kitty, one life spent with you is all I could ever wish for.

Perrito: What's going on with you, Puss?
Puss: I... I am down to my last life, and uh, I... I am afraid.
Perrito: Well... it's okay to be afraid.
Puss: No, not for Puss in Boots. I-I'm supposed to be a fearless hero, a legend. But... without lives to spare, I am... nothing.

The: Well, well. If it isn't Puss in Boots himself.
[chuckling]
The: In the flesh!
Puss: Uh, hey.
The: There's the famous hat, the feather and, of course, the boots.

Kitty: [In Spanish] Where did that idiot and his dog go?

[last lines]
Perrito: Where to, Puss?
Puss: To new adventures and old friends.

Jack: Don't you know I'm Dead Inside?

Ethical: That was horrible! Your wish is horrible! *You're* horrible! You're an irredeemable monster!
Jack: [mockingly] Wha-wha! What took you so long, IDIOT?
[Jack flicks the Ethical Bug off his shoulder]
Jack: [sighs in annoyance before turning to the last surviving member of the Baker's Dozen] You're not chatty, are you?

Perrito: Wanna rub my belly?
Puss: What-what's happening?
Perrito: Rub!
Puss: Hard pass.
Perrito: Come on, rub! I need the practice. I'm gonna be a therapy dog someday.
Puss: What the hell are you talking about?
Perrito: I'm glad you asked. When people feel bad, they can rub my belly. It'll make 'em feel better.