The Best Sgt. Joseph Getraer Quotes

Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Now, come on, kids. Give us a break, huh?
Patty: We're going to a place where no one hassles anyone else where it's quiet and peaceful and beautiful.
Rick: And the land and the sea gives you all the food you'll ever need.
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Where is this place?
Patty: Somewhere.
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: The Blue Lagoon?

Harlan: [Watching wistfully as Ponch and Jon ride off] Ah, if I was two inches taller, I would be cracking the bricks with them.
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Well, look at the flip side, Harlan. If you were two inches shorter, you'd be riding losers at Hollywood Park.

Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Look, it's probably just some guy trying to be a big man playing games with cops.
Officer: What if he stops playing games?

[last lines]
[final scene; Toni and Sharon prepared a celebratory dinner of hamburgers and kelp salad for the Central L.A. team. Sergeants Aikens & Getraer and Ponch serve themselves]
Sgt. Aikens: Well, J. Rodney Cameron has some very influential friends. Probably spend three years inside. You know, the one who arrested the guy?
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Yeah. But when we left him, he wasn't singing, but he was humming.
Officer: Hey, Aikens, why don't you try the salad? It's delicious.
Sgt. Aikens: What is it, kelp?
Officer: Yeah.
Sgt. Aikens: Oh, yeah, I love it.
Officer: Figures.
[Ponch sits down with Jon, Jed, Bear, Grossie, and Bonnie]
Officer: Sergeant, what's gonna happen to those two guys that sunk the boat?
Sgt. Aikens: They belong to the Feds. We don't need them.
Officer: [eats his burger] Hey, Sharon, these burgers are super. Did you make 'em?
Sharon: No, they're Toni's invention.
Officer: Great, Toni. How did you get that flavor?
Toni: Oh, it's a combination of things. Mostly seaweed and shark meat.
[the camera freezes on Jon and Ponch, completely shocked]
Toni: [jokes; Sharon smiles] Kidding, Ponch. Just kidding.
[Bonnie laughs, Jed chuckles, and Ponch & Jon smirks with Bear smiling in the background. The camera then freezes on Sgts. Aikens and Getraer, both smiling]
Officer: [mumbles] It's good.
[Jon laughs. The camera freezes back on Ponch & Jon with Bear in the background, then fades to black]

[Ponch and Jon just captured Rodney Cameron]
Officer: [reports back to the CHP Central Los Angeles office on the Poice Radio, not "C.B."] Ahoy on shore. This is CHP Navy out here. We got the crook and we got the evidence on him. Is there anything you need?
[Getraer chuckles]
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Well now, what do you say now, Sarge?
Sgt. Aikens: Whoopie. Let's throw a party.

Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Will you get out of here. You're blowing my cover.
Officer: Uh-uh. I'm writing you a ticket. My Sergeant says I can write as many as I want.

[a hacker has messed up the CHP's payroll]
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Now, about the paychecks.
Officer: Yeah, I've got a car payment due!
[the other officers start complaining]
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Settle down! Just settle down and we'll try to sort out your paychecks.
Officer: Well, how much was YOUR paycheck?
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: [nervously] It's... more than I usually get.
[under his breath]
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: It's closer to what I deserve.

Sgt. Joseph Getraer: [fellow patient Len Dover just died] I was just talking to him.
Officer: [sighs] Sorry.
Officer: Guess you never know.
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: [got to get on with life] Hey, uh, what's in the bag?
Officer: I don't know.
Officer: Oh, uh, corn beef on rye.
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: [uncertain chuckle] Thanks, but, uh... I'll save it until later.

Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Linahan, Nelson. What have you got?
Officer: We picked them up hitchhiking on the freeway.
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Where were they headed?
Bruce: They won't tell us
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Runaways, huh?
Rick: You have no right to hold us
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Yes, we do, if you're underage. Wanna tell us how to reach your parents?

Officer: [after Ponch storms out after being reprimanded] Listen, Sarge, I don't want this to sound like a p.r. job, but I mean if you took a closer look at his jacket, maybe... maybe you'd find some citations and recommendations. I mean, the guy's put some righteous criminals behind bars.
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Look, you've had to babysit him for six months now. What is it? His temper? No presence of mind? What?
Officer: I dunno. Sometimes the guy overdoes a role. Sometimes he doesn't know when to back off. Weird things happen to him. Ya gotta be there. He can't see 'em comin' and once they're there he can't stop them.
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Yeah, well, maybe I should've partnered him with an exorcist.

Betty: [at bedside in hospital] Joe, is there very much pain?
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: No. Only when I wink at the nurses.
Betty: Ha, ha.

Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Just what happens to you out there? You and Jon ride three feet apart, eight hours a day. You respond to the same calls. You stop the same violators. You get into the same situations. Yet, anytime anything happens, it's always your bike that comes back here looking like we ought give it a funeral.

Officer: Ha ha ha ha!
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Poncherello!
Officer: Is that you, Sarge?
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: You're on limited duty, and I'm going to revoke that duty if you don't stop chasing the clerks around!
Officer: I can't help it if they're delighted to see me back!
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Now listen-we have a new watch commander coming in-a Lieutenant Bates. First impressions count so I want you to summon up your dignity, and the take the front desk for once.
Officer: Front desk? Now, Sarge.
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: You will be first person he sees when he walks in the building.
Officer: But I hate checking taillights and answering phone calls! Can't he come in the back way?
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Oh, alright! I need somebody to clean the shotguns, and wash motorcycles.
Officer: Yeah, I'll take the front desk Sarge.
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Ah alright, and remember it's your choice.
Officer: It seems to me that sitting with someone in the car would be limited duty.
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Bye!
Officer: They need me out on the streets.
Officer: Hum!
Officer: My intuition, my key observations, and my instinct for things going wrong, uh ha.

Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Doctor... you are innocent as far as the accident is concerned.
Dr. Colleen Jacobs: [tearfully] I know that now.
[sobs]
Dr. Colleen Jacobs: But I am *so* embarrassed that I am *deeply* ashamed of myself.

Pam: Sergeant Getraer, Officers Poncherello and Baker just called to...
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Yeah, I know, and they just happened onto a multiple DC, a grand theft auto, a kidnapping caper and a hijacking.
Pam: Oh, they didn't mention the kidnap.
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: Uh, well, I'm sorry.
Pam: How did you know about the rest?
Sgt. Joseph Getraer: They have such corny excuses.