The Best Stevie Kenarban Quotes

Stevie: Social skills 10?
Malcolm: I have social skills, jackass.

Stevie: Outwitted... by a dumbass.

Malcolm: Why do they keep doing that?
Stevie: You're new.
Malcolm: Oh great, so I'm the freak of the freakshow?

Lloyd: [When the Krelboynes look up information about their new teacher] Notice anything?
Stevie: He was a Krelboyne.
Kevin: We won't have to talk down to him.
Dabney: Finally! Someone who knows our pain.

Kathy: [through crocodile tears] Do you guys want to go out on a date with us?
Stevie: You pray... and you pray... and finally... it happens.
[Stevie takes a hit from his inhaler, then from his breath spray]
Malcolm: What do you mean, 'go out'? When? Where?
Joanne: Right now. With us. In that.
Reese: [the boys rush to the window and see a stretch limousine] Oh my God. I bet it has a toilet! Dibs!
Joanne: [later in the limo] OK, so here's the deal, freaks. Our boyfriends left us in the middle of the Fall Formal to go to some stupid party... So now we're gonna go to this party and make out with you guys in front of those inconsiderate jerks.
Malcolm: You want to make them jealous?
Joanne: No, we want to make them puke! See, once they see us kissing losers like you guys, they're never gonna live it down.
Malcolm: You came over to our house and asked us out because we were the most disgusting guys you could find?
Limo: Actually, some kid with a hunch back and gills turned them down. Said he had too much pride.

Kitty: A sleepover? At someone else's house?
Abraham: Don't you like sleeping here, son?
Kitty: I don't think this is a good idea, Stevie, I mean, Malcolm's family doesn't have a hepa filter air purifier, and God knows how outmoded their alarm system is. They probably don't even have motion detectors.
Abraham: Be honest, son. Is it my snoring?
Kitty: You have a perfectly good hypoallergenic mattress here to sleep on. I just don't see the point.
Stevie: [wheezing due to his chronic breathing problem] It would help... me feel... normal.
Stevie: [Stevie realises his parents can no longer object; he turns his wheelchair and exits toward the camera, grinning] Fish... in a barrel.

Stevie: What's that?
Malcolm: A stripped car
Stevie: What's that?
Malcolm: A naked man arguing with the wall.
Stevie: What's that?
Malcolm: A nudy book store - with my dad coming out of it.

Malcolm: [Malcolm is desperate to help Dewey fail an intelligence test and stay out of the Krelboyne class] We have to give exactly the same answers a real dumb person would give.
Stevie: How do we... do that?
Reese: [enter Reese, in effect answering Stevie's question] Guys, guys. I've been trying to figure out what kind of genius I am, and I finally realized, I should go to the Library. And you know what? You can get Internet porn there, and the librarians can't do anything about it! God, I *love* this country!

Stevie: Dad, I...
[uses inhaler]
Abraham: Stevie! How could...
[uses inhaler]
Stevie: It's not...
[uses inhaler]
Stevie: what it looks like.
Stevie: Well it looks...
[uses inhaler]
Stevie: like she was on your lap!

Stevie: [after playing Hockey] Good... Game?
Malcolm: [clearly out of breath] This... Sucks.
Stevie: You... mocking me?
Malcolm: No... tired.
Stevie: Get... Skates.

Malcolm: Oh sure, you're okay because this doesn't make any difference to you. You've always been a freak. I used to be normal. Wait... who just said that? You're gonna take that the wrong way, aren't you?
Stevie: You... suck!

Malcolm: I can't stop thinking about what I did to Kevin. I feel like crap and no one understands. Even you. You're supposed to be my friend and you don't even care.
Stevie: And yet... you keep... talking.

Stevie: Crying on command got me a cable modem!

Stevie: You're... mine!
Reese: Good news, Stevie. I forgive you. Come on, Stevie! I can't walk. This isn't fair! Don't reduce yourself to my level! You're better than this!
Abraham: God, I'm too late! Stevie, please stop! Think of the lawsuit! You know these people will do anything to take our money!

Stevie: With my intelligence and tokenism, the sky's the limit.

Malcolm: [after Malcolm reads a poem in class; to Stevie] Before you say anything, just remember we're best friends, so that wheelchair isn't going to stop me from kicking your ass.
Stevie: Bring it on, Homeo.

Stevie: Freedom's a glorious thing.

Malcolm: Those guys are nuts. I'm funny!... Aren't I funny?
Lloyd: To be honest, you can be a little caustic.
Stevie: The word... is arrogant.
Dabney: How about bitter, sarcastic and handsome?
[Lloyd and Stevie turn to look at him]
Dabney: [points somewhere] Hey, she's cute.