The Best Steward Quotes

The: And last but not least, our very special guest... Ladies and gentlemen and trees and multiforms, consider the Earth below. In memory of this dying world, we call forth... the last human...
[Rose goes to step forward but the doors open and a piece of skin stretched on a frame, accompanied by two attendants, comes in]
The: The Lady Cassandra O'Brien dot Delta 17.
Cassandra: Oh now, don't stare. I know. I know. It's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away. And look at the difference! Look how thin I am. Thin and dainty. I don't look a day over two thousand.
[to one of her attendants]
Cassandra: Moisturise me, moisturise me.
[the attendant sprays her]
Cassandra: Truly, I am the last human. My father was a Texan, my mother was from the Arctic desert. They were born on the Earth and they were the last to be buried in its soil. I have come to honour them and say goodbye.

The: Well, what was it? I'm just getting green lights at this end!

Rose: Is that why we're here? - I mean, is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?
The: I'm not saving it. Time's up.
Rose: But what about the people?
The: It's empty. They've all gone. No one left.
Rose: [silent; looks at the Earth] Just me then.
The: Who the hell are you?

The: Who the hell are you?
The: Oh, that's nice. Thanks!
The: But how did you get in?
[sounds affronted]
The: This is a maximum hospitality zone. The guests have disembarked.
[the Doctor reaches into his pocket]
The: They're on their way. Any second now...
The: It's all right, that's me. I'm a guest. Look.
[opening his wallet]
The: I've got an invitation. Look.
[shows the Steward slip of paper inside]
The: There, you see? It's fine. You see?
[points to paper]
The: "The Doctor plus one." I'm the Doctor, this is Rose Tyler. She's my "plus one". Is that all right?
The: Well... obviously.
[humbly]
The: Apologies, et cetera. If you're on board, we'd better start. Enjoy.
[walks to his podium]
The: [waits till Steward is out of range; shows Rose the blank piece of paper in his wallet] The paper's slightly psychic. It shows them whatever I want them to see. Saves a lot of time.