The Best Tab Spangler Quotes

[Spengler has harnessed the patients at his weight-loss clinic to a chariot]
Tab: Here's what's going to happen. You're going to pull me in this chariot while I whip you and you tell me how you got so fat.
[cracks whip]
Tab: Go!
Kent: I'm Kent Brockman. I gorge on kettle corn between weather and sports.
Tab: We know. Your side-fat is spilling over to Channels 5 and 7. I hope you're getting three paychecks.
[cracks whip]
Bart: I'm Bart Simpson. I'm just big-boned.
Tab: [cracks whip] No such thing!
Bart: Growth spurt?
Tab: [cracks whip] Doesn't exist!
Bart: This can't be legal!
Tab: [cracks whip] It's legal enough!