The Best Ted Lange Quotes

Ship's: Where've you been?
Bartender: Looking for you.
Ship's: Great spies we are. We can't even find each other.

Bartender: [Isaac is trying to write a book] Hey, Doc. I finally figured something to write about. It hit me last night. Now, what do I know better than anything?
Doctor: Oakland, on five dollars a day?
Bartender: No, the things that happen on a cruise ship.
Doctor: Hey, not bad. Not bad at all. That could even be a television series.

Ship's: [dressed as Valentino for a masquerade party] Valentino lives.
Bartender: Not in that body.
Ship's: You are looking at the world's greatest lover.
Bartender: [dressed as a white rabbit] You don't know nothing about us rabbits.