The Best The Simpsons, Season 12, Episode 15 Quotes

Homer: You know me: occasionally, I'll be quirky.
[Eyes widen]
Homer: I'll be quirky?
[Remembers]
Homer: Albuquerque!

duff: [walking to microphone in the middle of the stadium] so homer how do you feel?
Homer: me... meatloaf "hung-y"...

Homer: And I gave that man directions, even though I didn't know the way, because that's the kind of guy I am this week.

Homer: Dancing away my hunger pain... moving my feet so my stomach won't hurt... I'm kinda like Jesus, but not in a sacrilegious way...
Moe: Jeez, Homer's losing it already.
Carl: Yeah but his weary shuffling makes my heart smile.

Homer: [singing] I'm trying to ease my stomach pains. I'm moving my legs so my stomach won't hurt. I'm kinda like Jesus, but not in a sacrilegious way.

Homer: I don't mind being called a liar when I'm lying, or about to lie, or just finished lying. But NOT WHEN I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!

Homer: Me hungry.

Ceasar: Hello Homer, I'm Ceasar Chavez.
Ceasar: But, how come you look like Ceasar Romero?
Ceasar: Because you don't know who Ceasar Chavez looks like.

[after days and days on a hunger strike, Homer hallucinates]
Homer: Hey, who are you?
Ghost: The ghost of Cesar Chavez.
Homer: Why do you look like Cesar Romero?
Ghost: Cause you don't know what Cesar Chavez looks like.

Howard K. Duff VIII: Well, Homer, your hunger strike lasted twelve amazing days!
Homer: [groans weakly] Me so hungy.
Howard K. Duff VIII: Of course you are, Hungry, Hungry Homer, so why not break your fast with our brand new Isotope Dog Supreme?
[Duffman approaches and holds up a hotdog with three toppings]
Homer: [sniffs, moans and shudders] So hard to resist. Mesquite-grilled onions, jalapeño relish.
[goes to take a bite, but stops]
Homer: Wait a minute. Those are southwestern ingredients!
[everyone gasps and murmurs]
Homer: Mango lime salsa? That's the kind of bold flavour they enjoy in...
[grabs the microphone and points at Duffman]
Homer: Albuquerque!
[everyone gasps loudly]
Lenny: He's right!
Moe: Yeah! And the wrapper says, Albuquerque Isotopes!
Sideshow: Homer was right!
[stands up and points]
Sideshow: They're planning to move the team!
[everyone shakes their fists, yelling furiously]
Howard K. Duff VIII: [nervously] N-n-now, now, see here, people. Let's not be too hasty.
Homer: [grabs the microphone] Tell the truth! Come on, everybody!
Crowd: [chanting] Tell the truth! Tell the truth! Tell the truth!
Howard K. Duff VIII: [to Duffman; indicates Homer] Get him out of here!
Homer: Don't listen to him, Duffman. For once in your life, stand up for the little guy!
[Duffman looks back and forth thrice between Homer and Howard]
Duffman: New feelings brewing in Duffman! What... would Jesus do?

[Skinner hands Edna Krabappel an ice cream cone]
Mrs. Krabappel: Oh Seymour, you shouldn't have. It's going to go straight to my thighs.
Principal: Well Edna, it just might have some company.

Howard K. Duff VIII: The only story here is the rich, smooth taste of Duff.