50 Best Uma Thurman Quotes

The: You and I have unfinished business.
Bill: Baby, you ain't kidding.

Copperhead: So when do we do this?
The: It all depends. When do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?
Copperhead: How about tonight, bitch?
The: Splendid. Where?

Bill: How do I look?
The: You look ready.

Mrs. H: [to Young Joe] Would it be alright if I show the children the whoring bed? After all, they also have a stake in this event.

The: Then give me one of these.
Hattori: They're not for sale.
The: I didn't say "sell me", I said "give me".
Hattori: [laughs] Why should I help you?
The: Because my vermin is a former student of yours. And considering the student, I'd say you have a rather *large* obligation.
[long pause, then Hanzo walks to the window and writes Bill's name]
Hattori: [in Japanese] You can sleep here. It will take me a month to make the sword. I suggest you spend it practicing.

The: You know, five years ago, if I had to make a list of impossible things that would never happen, you performing a coup de grace on me, by busting a cap in my crown, would have been right at the top of the list. But I'd be wrong, wouldn't I?
Bill: [slightly drunk] ... I'm sorry, was that a question? Of impossible things that could never happen, in this case, yes, you would have been wrong.
The: Well?
Bill: When you didn't come back, I naturally assumed that Lisa Wong or somebody else had killed you. Oh, and for the record, letting someone think that someone they love is dead when they're not is quite cruel. I mourned you for three months. And in the third month of mourning you, I tracked you down. Now, I wasn't trying to track you down. I was trying to track down the fucking assholes who I thought killed you. So, I find you. And what do I find? Not only are you not dead, you're getting married, to some fucking jerk, and you're pregnant. I... overreacted.
[long pause]
The: You overreacted?

Esteban: Bill shot you in the head, no?
The: Yes.
Esteban: I would've been much nicer. I would've just cut your face.

The: You want to come to the wedding?
Bill: Only if I can sit on the bride's side.
The: You'll find it a bit lonely on my side.
Bill: Your side always was a bit lonely. But I wouldn't sit anywhere else.

[the Bride drags Buck's head to the doorjam]
The: [screams] Where's Bill?
[slam]
The: Where's Bill?
[slam]
Buck: [weakly] Please stop hitting me...
The: WHERE'S BILL?
[slam]
Buck: I-I don't know who Bill is!
The: BULLSHIT!
[another slam; then she notices the words "BUCK" and "FUCK" tattooed on his knuckles, and suddenly has a flashback from her coma]
Buck: Well, ain't you the little slice of cutie pie they said you were. "Jane Doe," huh? Well, we don't know shit about you, huh? Well, I'm from Huntsville, Texas. My name is Buck, and I'm here to fuck, ha-ha-ha...
[back to the present]
The: [gently] Your name is Buck, right?
[Buck's eyes widen]
The: [getting angrier] And you came here to fuck, *right*?
Buck: Wait a minute... WAIT A MINUTE-!
[and: ]
The: "Pussy Wagon." You *fucker*...
[one last slam]

Mrs. H: Well, if three is a crowd, then seven must be a bit of a challenge for the pretty miss. I must say I have a hard time picturing her enjoying loneliness.

Mia: I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take ME out and do WHATEVER I WANTED. Now I wanna dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good.

Pamela: Hello, Jason. I think I've had a change of heart. Quite literally. The animal-plant toxins had a rather unique effect on me. They replaced my blood with aloe, my skin with chlorophyll, and filled my lips...
[She passionately kisses him on the lips]
Pamela: ... with venom. Oh and Jason, one other thing. I probably should've mentioned this earlier. I'm poison.

The: How did you find me?
Bill: [off screen] I'm the man.

The: [spanking a young member of the Crazy 88s with her sword] This is what you get for fucking around with Yakuzas!
[with a last spank, lets him go]
The: Go home to your mother!

[after entering a cafe, covered head to toe in dirt]
The: May I have a glass of water, please?

Bill: Hello, Kiddo.
The: How did you find me?
Bill: I'm the man.

[first lines]
Bill: Do you find me sadistic? You know, I bet I could fry an egg on your head right now, if I wanted to. You know, Kiddo, I'd like to believe that you're aware enough even now to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions. Well, maybe towards those other... jokers, but not you. No Kiddo, at this moment, this is me at my most...
[cocks pistol]
Bill: masochistic.
The: Bill... it's your baby...
[BLAM!]

Bill: He'll accept you as his student.
The: Caught him in a good mood, aye?
Bill: More like a sadistic one. Just seeing those steps again makes me ache. You're gonna have plenty of fun carrying buckets of water up and down that fucker.
The: Why did he accept me?
Bill: Because he's a very very very old man. And like all rotten bastards, when they get old, they become lonely. Not that that has any effect on their disposition. But they do learn the value of company.
The: When will I see you again?
Bill: That's the title of my favorite soul song of the Seventies.
The: What?
Bill: Nothing. When he tells me you're done.
The: When do you think that might be?
Bill: That my dearest, all depends on you. Now remember, no backtalk, no sarcasm. Least not for the first year. You're going to have to let him warm up for you. He hates Caucasians, despises Americans, and has nothing but contempt for women, so in your case, that may take a little while. Adios.

The: [in Japanese] Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now.
[in English]
The: Except you, Sofie! You stay right where you are!

Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

Elle: That's right. I killed your master. And now I'm gonna kill you too, with your own sword, no less, which in the very immediate future, will become... my sword.
The: Bitch, you don't have a future.

Bill: Once upon a time in China, some believe, around the year one double-aught three, head priest of the White Lotus Clan, Pai Mei, was walking down the road, contemplating whatever it is that a man of Pai Mei's infinite power contemplates - which is another way of saying "who knows?" - when a Shaolin monk appeared, traveling in the opposite direction. As the monk and the priest crossed paths, Pai Mei, in a practically unfathomable display of generosity, gave the monk the slightest of nods. The nod was not returned. Now was it the intention of the Shaolin monk to insult Pai Mei? Or did he just fail to see the generous social gesture? The motives of the monk remain unknown. What is known, are the consequences. The next morning Pai Mei appeared at the Shaolin Temple and demanded of the Temple's head abbot that he offer Pai Mei his neck to repay the insult. The Abbot at first tried to console Pai Mei, only to find Pai Mei was inconsolable. So began the massacre of the Shaolin Temple and all sixty of the monks inside at the fists of the White Lotus. And so began the legend of Pai Mei's five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique.
The: And what, pray tell, is the five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique?
Bill: Quite simply, the deadliest blow in all of martial arts. He hits you with his fingertips at five different pressure points on your body. And then he lets you walk away. But after you've taken five steps, your heart explodes inside your body, and you fall to the floor, dead.

The: [voiceover narration] As I lay in the back of Buck's truck, trying to will my limbs out of entropy, I could see the faces of the cunts that did this to me and the dicks responsible. Members all of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. When fortune smiles on something as violent and ugly as revenge, it seems proof like no other, that not only does God exist, you're doing His will.

The: [after quickly dispatching six Crazy 88's] So, O-Ren? Any more subordinates for me to kill?

The: What are you doing here?
Bill: What am I doing? A moment ago, I was playin' my flute. But this moment, I'm looking at the most beautiful bride these old eyes have ever seen.
The: Why are you here?
Bill: Last look.
The: Are you going to be nice?
Bill: I've never been nice my whole life, but I'll do my best... to be sweet.

Hattori: What brings you to Okinawa?
The: I'm here to see a man.
Hattori: Oh yeah? You have a friend living in Okinawa?
The: Not quite.
Hattori: Not a friend?
The: I've never met him.
Hattori: Never? Who is he, may I ask?
The: Hattori Hanzo.
Hattori: [Serious, switches to Japanese] What do you want with Hattori Hanzo?
The: [Japanese] I need Japanese steel.
Hattori: [Japanese] Why do you need Japanese steel?
The: [Japanese] I have vermin to kill.
Hattori: [English] You must have big rats if you need Hattori Hanzo's steel.
The: [English] ... Huge.

Bill: Now... When it comes to you, and us, I have a few unanswered questions. So, before this tale of bloody revenge reaches its climax, I'm going to ask you some questions, and I want you to tell me the truth. However, therein lies a dilemma. Because, when it comes to the subject of me, I believe you are truly and utterly incapable of telling the truth, especially to me, and least of all, to yourself. And, when it comes to the subject of me, I am truly and utterly incapable of believing anything you say.
The: How do you suppose we solve this dilemma?
Bill: Well, it just so happens I have a solution.
[he shoots The Bride with a dart filled with Truth Serum]
Bill: Gotcha!
The: Goddamn! What the fuck did you just shoot me with?
Bill: My greatest invention. Or at least, my favorite one.
[she reaches for the dart]
Bill: Don't touch it, or I'll stick another one right in your cheek.

The: [in Japanese] Go-Go, right?
Go: [in Japanese] Bingo. And you're Black Mamba.
The: Our reputations precede us.
Go: Don't they?

Copperhead: Look, if I could go back in a machine, I would. But I can't. All can tell you is that I'm a different person now.
The: Oh great. I don't care.
Copperhead: Be that as it may, I know I don't deserve your mercy or your forgiveness. However, I beseech you for both on behalf of my daughter.
The: Bitch, you can stop right there. Just because I have no wish to murder you in front of your daughter doesn't mean that parading her around in front of me will inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business. And not a goddamned thing you've done in the subsequent four years including getting knocked up is going to change that.
Copperhead: So when do we do this?
The: It all depends. When do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?
Copperhead: How about tonight, bitch?
The: Splendid. Where?
Copperhead: There's a baseball diamond where I coach Little League about a mile from here. We meet there around two-thirty in the morning dressed all in black. Your hair in a black stocking. And we have us a knife fight. We won't be bothered. Now... I have to fix Nikki's cereal.

O: [in Japanese; subtitled] For ridiculing you earlier, I apologize.
The: [in Japanese; subtitled] Accepted.

The: Wiggle your big toe. Wiggle your big toe. Wiggle your big toe. Wiggle your big toe. Wiggle your big toe.

[Elle and The Bride each have a sword in hand]
Elle: What's that?
The: Budd's Hanzo sword.
Elle: He said he pawned it.
The: Guess that makes him a liar, don't it?

O: [sword lifted] Silly Caucasian girl likes to play with Samurai swords.
[as The Bride gasps]
O: You may not be able to fight like a Samurai, but you can at least die like a Samurai.
The: [stands up] Attack me... with everything you have.

[his opinion of Tommy]
Bill: When I first saw him... I like his hair.
The: You promised you'd be nice.
Bill: No, I said I'd do my best. That's hardly a promise.

Bill: What lies within that dart, just begging to course its way through your veins, is a potent and quite infallible truth serum. I call it "The Undisputed Truth." Twice as strong as sodium penethol, with none of the druggie after-effect. Oh, except for a slight wave of euphoria. Can you feel it?
The: Euphoria?
Bill: Yeah.
The: No.
Bill: Too bad.

The: It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it, your mother had it comin'. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting.

Poison: Kill them, of course. But why stop there? Why should only Batman and Robin die while the society that created them goes unpunished?
Mr. Freeze: Yes! If I must suffer... Humanity will suffer with me! I shall repay them for sentencing me to a life without human comfort. I will blanket the city in endless winter! First... Gotham. And then... The world!

The: Did he teach you that?
Bill: No. He teaches no one the five-point-palm-exploding-heart technique. Now, Kiddo, one of the things I always liked about you is you appear wise beyond your years. Then allow me to impart a word to the wise. Whatever - WHAT-EVER - Pai Mei says, obey. If you flash him, even for an instant, a defiant eye, he'll pluck it out. And if you throw any American sass his way, he will snap your back and your neck like they were twigs, and that will be the story of you.

Mrs. H: [to her children, referring to Joe's bedroom] Let's go see daddy's favorite place!

O: You didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you?
The: You know, for a second there, yeah, I kinda did.
O: Silly rabbit.
The: Trix are...
O: ...for kids.

Pamela: I am Nature's arm. Her spirit. Her will. Hell, I am Mother Nature, and the time has come for plants to take back the world so rightfully ours! 'cause it's not nice to fool with Mother Nature.

Bill: If you had to guess where she was headed next, what would be your best guess?
Sofie: Guessing won't be necessary. She informed me. She said that I could keep my wicked life for two reasons...
[flashback]
The: As I said before, I've allowed you to keep your wicked life for two reasons. And the second reason is so you can tell him in person everything that happened here tonight. I want him to witness the extent of my mercy by witnessing your deformed body. I want you to tell him all the information you just told me. I want him to know what I know. I want him to know I want him to know. And I want them all to know they'll all soon be as dead as O-Ren.

Budd: Looky here, bitch, this is a can of Mace. Now, you're going underground tonight, and that's all there is to it. But, when I bury you, I was gonna bury you with this.
Budd: [holds up a flashlight alongside the can of Mace]
Budd: But if you're gonna act like a horse's ass, I'll spray this whole goddamn can... RIGHT IN YOUR EYEBALLS!
Budd: [holds can of Mace right in front the Bride's right eye]
Budd: I'll burn 'em out of your fuckin' head. Then you'll be blind, burnin', and buried alive. So what's it gonna be, sister?
The: [settles down and nods toward the flashlight]
Budd: That's a wise decision.

[Esteban, an 80-year-old pimp, appraises The Bride]
Esteban: If I had met you 40 years ago, you would have been my Number One lady.
The: Well, I'm flattered.
Esteban: You goddamn better well be.

Mr. Freeze: I will blanket the city in endless winter. First Gotham, and then the world.
Poison: Just what I had in mind. Everything dead on earth, except us. A chance for Mother Nature to start again. Behold, the dawn of a new age. My mutant plants have the strength of the deadliest animals. Once you have frozen mankind, these babies will overrun the globe, and we shall rule them, for we will be the only two people left in the world.
Mr. Freeze: Adam and Evil!

Poison: So many people to kill... so little time.

Esteban: How may I be of service to you?
The: Where's Bill?
Esteban: Ahh... You must be Beatrix. I can see the attraction. I remember when Bill was only five years old, I took him to the movies. It was a movie starring Lana Turner. "The Postman Always Ring Twice" with John Garfields. And whenever she would appear on the screen, Bill would begin to suck his thumb to an obscene amount. And I knew from this very moment, that this boy was a fool for blondes. Mmm...

Pai: [punches through a block of wood from three inches away] Since your arm now belongs to me, I want it strong. Can you do that?
The: I can, but not that close.
Pai: Then you can't do it. What if your enemy is three inches in front of you, what do you do then? Curl into a ball? Or do you put your fist through him?

Bill: As you know, l'm quite keen on comic books. Especially the ones about superheroes. I find the whole mythology surrounding superheroes fascinating. Take my favorite superhero, Superman. Not a great comic book. Not particularly well-drawn. But the mythology... The mythology is not only great, it's unique.
The: [who still has a needle in her leg] How long does this shit take to go into effect?
Bill: About two minutes, just long enough for me to finish my point. Now, a staple of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When that character wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic Superman stands alone. Superman didn't become Superman. Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears - the glasses, the business suit - that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent. He's weak... he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race. Sorta like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy Plimpton.
The: Ah-so. The point emerges.
Bill: You would've worn the costume of Arlene Plimpton. But you were born Beatrix Kiddo. And every morning when you woke up, you'd still be Beatrix Kiddo. Oh, you can take the needle out.
The: [does so] Are you calling me a superhero?
Bill: I'm calling you a killer. A natural born killer. You always have been, and you always will be. Moving to El Paso, working in a used record store, goin' to the movies with Tommy, clipping coupons. That's you, trying to disguise yourself as a worker bee. That's you tryin' to blend in with the hive. But you're not a worker bee. You're a renegade killer bee. And no matter how much beer you drank or barbecue you ate or how fat your ass got, nothing in the world would ever change that.

The: I was wondering, just between us girls, what did you say to Pai Mei for him to snatch out your eye?
Elle: [flashback showing Pai Mei snatching out Elle's eye] I called him a miserable old fool.
The: Ooh, bad idea.
Elle: You know what I did? I killed that miserable old fool.
[the Bride gasps as they show a flashback of Pai Mei gagging from the poison Elle put in his food]
Elle: [flashback] How do you like the fishheads you miserable old fool?
[Present]
Elle: I poisoned his fishheads.
Pai: Elle, you treacherous dog. I give you my word...
Elle: And I told him, "To me the word of an old fool like you is worth less than nothing."
[Pai Mei keels over and dies, as Elle starts laughing]