The Best Anthony Montoya Quotes

Jack: When did she first bite you?
Montoya: Two days ago. I still covered your ass!
Jack: Yes, you did. I say we owe you two days back. Whatya think, padre?
Father: You have two days.

Montoya: [takes tape off Katrina's mouth; sighs] What's your name? Do you understand what's been happening to you?
Katrina: [screams] Help me!
Montoya: [grabs Katrina's head; puts her in strenghold; covers her mouth] Hey! HEY! Don't fuck with me, honey! I'll snap your neck like a twig! Now nod your head "Yes" or "No". Do you understand what's been happening to you? DO IT!
[Katrina shakes her head "No"]
Montoya: All right. Now I'm going to explain it to you. First, I'm gonna take my hand off your mouth. You scream...
[imitates neck snap; Katrina sobs]
Montoya: Good. Now... what's your name?
Katrina: Katrina.
Montoya: Okay, Katrina. Here's the scenario.
[throws covers back on her]
Montoya: I took off your clothes. I cleaned you up. I tied you down. I also saved your ass. You been bitten by a vampire. Do you remember the party back at the motel? Big guy, pointy teeth, real shitty breath? Don't worry. It'll all come back soon. A master vampire has a telepathic link to his victims, and you're gonna help us find him. And while he's sleeping, we unleash on his. You're the bait honey. Sorry.

Montoya: [trying to figure out how much the hotel costs] What's the fucking total, guy?
Motel: Erm... that's erm... $400.
[looks out window in the pickup]
Motel: Is that your girlfriend?
Montoya: No, it's my fuckin' mother. Gimme the key.

[Montoya checks out a Buick that pulls up]
Man: Hey! Cowboy! Can I help you?
Montoya: Yeah. I'm gonna borrow your car.
[man opens mouth in disbelief]
Montoya: Shhh... just say "Help yourself."
Man: You want me to say *what*?
Montoya: [pulling out a gun] Hey!
[shouts]
Montoya: Shut the fuck up or I'll blow your fucking teeth out the back of your head, asshole! Back off!
Man: Uhh... help yourself, boy!
Montoya: Much obliged, partner!

Jack: [Notices Montoya is all worn out and exhausted] You look like shit, Montoya.
[Montoya is getting into the van]
Jack: Where you going?
Montoya: South.
Jack: You love her that much.
Montoya: We make the perfect couple, Jack.
Father: [points shotgun at Montoya] You're not leaving!
Jack: Padre, back off.
Father: No.
[Montoya points his revolver at him]
Jack: Don't make me come over there and beat the shit out of you, Padre. Back off!
Father: He's a vampire, Jack!
Jack: [getting in the middle of both of them] Rule number one, if your partner is ever been by a vampire, never, ever let him live.
[Turning his head over to Father Adam]
Jack: Padre.
[They both lower their guns]
Montoya: I'm not a slayer anymore, Jack. Besides, the way I figure it, the two of you got plenty to do cleaning the rest of them out.
Jack: Meanwhile, she hides in the back of the van, out of the sunlight, while you make it for the border try to catch it by nightfall, is that it.
Montoya: I need a vacation, Jack.
Jack: When did she first bite you?
Montoya: Two days ago. I still covered your ass.
Jack: Yes, you did. So let's say I owe you two days back. What do you say, Padre?
Father: You've got two days
Jack: Wherever you go, I will find you. I will hunt you down, and I will kill you. The girl too.
[Montoya starts to cry and they both hug like brothers]
Montoya: Vaya con Dios, my friend.
[He tearfully goes into the van and drives off]
Jack: [whispering] Vaya con Dios , Slayer.