The Best Barbara Lang Quotes

Lisa: Have you ever wondered how sad it is, that your son's only sexual outlet is tossing off to magazines in the bathroom?
Lucy: Oh Gary! Oh my God!
Gary: Ma, I never tossed off to anything!
Lucy: You told me you were combing your hair!
Gary: I was! I was!

Lucy: Yes. It's Gary. It's our boy Gary. He's our 16 year old boy.
Al: No, no, no. I don't know what the hell your talking about Lucy, and I want you to shut up.