The Best Big Barda Quotes

[as they're about to enter the X-pit]
Mr. Miracle: [to Flash and Barda] Neither of you signed on for this.
Big: Actually, I did. The day I married you.
The: Well, I'm not that commited, but I'm with you.

Big: We don't need these cowards! We can do it on our own!
The: Great news, Bertha! You don't have to!
[Barda seizes him by the throat]
Big: BARDA!
The: [squeaks] Isn't that what I said?

Warhawk: [after Batman uses the Kyrptonite on Superman the next time he attacks them, they pull his suit off to reveal a starfish-like alien on his chest] Lantern, Barda, you've been around the galaxy once or twice. Ever see anything like this?
Big: Never.
Green: [uses her ring to conjure up a magnifying glass to get a closer look] Whatever it is, it appears to have somehow embedded itself in his skin
Batman: Any chance of getting it off?
Green: I must remind you, this is not just one alien species before us, it's two, and I do not yet understand the subtleties of their interaction.
Warhawk: I'll take that as an "I don't know."

Mr. Miracle: Voila, the way out.
Kalibak: [taking cover as blasters on the walls begin firing] Now what?
Mr. Miracle: Now we make miracles.
[as he uses his flying discs to take the blasters out, two barricades of flames appear]
The: No, no, no. Allow me.
[he turns into a cyclone to disable the flames, and a door explodes open]
Big: Flash!
The: [unhurt] What?

Kalibak: Well, if it isn't my treacherous stepbrother... and his cow.
Big: Arrogant worm! How dare you...
The: [breaking up fight] Knock it off! What are you guys, twelve?
[sotto voce]
The: I can't believe I'm the mature one here.

J'onn: [after Flash saves Oberon] He's safe.
Big: [seizes Granny] Good, because now I can...!
J'onn: I'm sorry, but you can't. The power struggle here must continue.
Mr. Miracle: A curse on both their houses.
J'onn: Indeed.

Granny: Oh, Scott, you didn't let Granny down. When I heard the X Pit had been destroyed, I thought for certain you and dear Kalibak were lost. How did you manage to get out?
Mr. Miracle: [indicating the Flash] Ask him.
The: Trade secret.
Big: Enough of this. Where is Oberon?
Granny: Ah, yes, that mouthy little pipsqueak was very rude to Granny. And he's going to be taught a lesson.
The: See? What did I tell you? People are so predictable.
[Kalibak shifts into J'onn]
J'onn: Try *not* to think about where you've got Oberon hidden.
[reading Granny's mind]
J'onn: Darkseid's old palace. I'll guide you.

Big: [the rest of the League is objecting to Batman joining the team] I thought we were a team. Slaves on Apokolips are treated with more respect.
Green: Please. Anger just clouds the issue.
Warhawk: Does it? My beak tells me this stinks.
Aquagirl: I'm afraid Barda and Warhawk have a point. No offense.
Superman: This isn't up for discussion. Like it or not, Batman stays.
[Nobody says anything. Barda and Lantern exit without saying anything to Batman. Warhawk stops in front of him]
Warhawk: Just keep out of my way, junior. Hawks eat rodents like you for breakfast.
[Aquagirl follows him out, giving Batman a sympathetic look as she does]
Batman: Maybe this was a mistake.
Superman: No, I need someone I can trust.

[after reuniting with Oberon, Mr. Miracle opens a boom tube and the heroes depart Apokolips]
Granny: How? Granny never failed with any of them. How did she fail with him.
[someone taps her shoulder]
Big: Oh, one last thing...
[Barda delivers a ferocious punch that knocks Granny flat and out cold, then smiles and dashes through the closing boom tube]

The: Come on, Ugly! Move that hairy butt!
Kalibak: It's... humiliating being rescued by your enemy.
Mr. Miracle: As humiliating as being Virman Vundabar's pet?
Kalibak: Well, if it isn't my treacherous stepbrother.
[Looks over at Big Barda]
Kalibak: And his cow.
Big: Arrogant worm. How dare you...
[Big Barda goes to strike Kalibak]
The: Knock it off! What are you guys, twelve? I can't believe I'm the mature one here.
Mr. Miracle: He's right. We've got bigger problems.
Virman Vundabar: [a video monitor turns on revealing Virman Vundabar] Indeed you do, fools! Much bigger! And, oh, how I will delight in watching you fail!
[Barda blasts the monitor]
Virman Vundabar: Ver-r-r-ry interesting... but futile.

Mr. Miracle: Ah, it's good to see you, old friend!
Oberon: It's good to see me, too!
Big: All the trouble we had to go through because of you.
Oberon: All legs, and no heart.
Big: You're just too far away to hear it.
[kneels and hugs him]

Oberon: [preparing for one of Scott's escape tricks] Let's hope the train is running late today.
[a train whistle blows, and he and Barda see a train car being carried in by a helicopter]
Big: Leave it to Scott Free to find the newest wrinkles.
Oberon: He's sure given me a few.
[the helicopter drops the train car, which lands on the platform where Scott is]
Big: Scott?
[looking through the wreckage]
Big: Scott!
Mr. Miracle: [a few feet away, unharmed] O, ye of little faith.
Big: [hugging him] Scott, I thought you were dead. You insufferable showboat. I thought you were dead.
Mr. Miracle: When are you and Oberon gonna learn that... hey, where is Oberon?
Granny: Don't worry, dumpling, he's safe and sound in Granny's loving care. Of course, if you ever want to see the old runt alive again, you'll do exactly as Granny says.

Warhawk: Well kid, I gotta admit. I was wrong about you.
Green: An understatement. You saved the world.
Superman: Think you could get used to it?
Batman: You're saying you want me with you full-time?
Aquagirl: We could really use you.
Batman: I don't know. You guys play awfully rough.
Big: Come on, it'll put you one up on the old Batman. He never made it past part-timer.
Superman: Yeah, he wasn't what you call a "joiner."
Batman: Maybe he and I have something in common after all.
[Walks away from the League members]
Superman: More than you think, son. More than you think.

Batman: [Barda is accusing him of fabricating the evidence of Superman being the traitor] Listen, lady. I never asked to join this club. You people came to me.
Big: It was only Superman who came to you. And now you're accusing him of murder. It doesn't make sense.
Batman: I know it doesn't, but we're never going to get to the bottom of it unless you open your eyes and stop being so pigheaded!
Big: [shouting] Pigheaded?
[she punches Batman across the room, sending him smashing into a nearby console. She charges toward him, but just as she's about to punch him, Green Lantern restrains her in a energy bubble with his ring while Aquagirl tends to Batman]
Big: Let go of me, Lantern!
Green: Not until you calm down.

The: Not that I mind the exercise, but couldn't your boob tube have transported us any closer?
Big: It's "boom tube"!

The: [on Apokolips] So, you two grew up around here?
Big: This cesspool of a world was all I knew. I was one of Granny's blind and brainwashed puppets until Scott cut my strings.