Top 30 Quotes From Black Dynamite

Afroditey: Ooh, Black Dynamite, you came to see me!
Black: Bitch, nah, I need to rap a piece with my man 'Horn. Tell you what, maybe when I'm done I'll throw you a piece right quick.
Afroditey: Out of sight! I get off in fifteen minutes.
Black: You right about that, girl. You right about that.

Black: Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery!

[after the ghost of Abraham Lincoln knocks the gun off Richard Nixon's hand, Black Dynamite takes the president down with a foot sweep and pummels his face with a barrage of punches]
Black: You had enough, Mr. President?
Richard: You'll never get away with this!
Black: Watch me, you little insecure cracker. You think by shrinking our johnsons, it's gonna make your situation any better? That's your problem, Tricky Dick. You are paranoid. Like sending those two-bit crooks to Watergate. For what? For these?
[Black Dynamite throws some photographs of Nixon tied up and engaged in an S&M session]
Black: Look at you. You lost it all, turkey.
Richard: Kill me.
Black: Say what?
Richard: Kill me!
Black: No. That's the easy way out for you. Now, unless you want the rest of this freaky shit to hit the news, I suggest you take good care of me and my people. Can you dig it?
[Nixon nods]
Black: I said, can you dig it?
Richard: Yes, I, I can dig it!
Black: I thought you could.
[Black Dynamite walks away]

Black: Who the hell is interrupting my kung fu?

Bullhorn: Man, you guys ain't had no waffles like these. These waffles are so good, they're like they come from down South. These buttery motherfuckers will melt in your mouth. Man you ain't had no waffles...
Black: Wait! Bullhorn, what did you just say? You said, 'Melts in your mouth'. Quick...
[erases the restaurant menu blackboard]
Black: What else melts in your mouth?
Cream: M&M's!
Black: Exactly. And not in your hands. And who makes M&M's?
Militant: Mars Candy Company make it. Yeah, yeah.
Black: And Mars is also...
Saheed: The Roman God of War.
Black: Who is the Greek God of War?
Militant: Ares.
Black: Now, you take Mars and spell it backwards, drop the S.
Cream: Ram. That's right. And ram is the zodialogical sign for Aries. Oh! Now dig. Ares' half-sister is Athena.
Black: Now you're getting it.
Cream: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Athena, Athens.
Saheed: Which is the capital of Greece.
Black: And as we all know, zodialogical astronomy was created by the Greeks in...
Cream: 785 B.C.
Militant: And 785 is the area code to Topeka. Oh, my God. 785 is the area code to Topeka, Kansas!
Bullhorn,182781: Code Kansas!
Black: Now take that, spell it backwards and drop the S.
Militant: Snake doc. Snake doctor, yeah!
Black: Yes. And brothers, who is the Greek Demigod of Medicine who believed that snakes' tongues had mystical healing powers?
Cream: Aesculapius, of course. He had a staff with snakes intertwining all around that bitch. They called it Aesculapius' staff. It's a symbol the medical field uses to this day.
Black: Now, what legend involving snakes is in both Greek and Roman mythology? Now, come on. It involves Aesculapius' own father.
Woman at table: Apollo.
Black: Yeah. Thanks, lady.

Black: You diabolical dick-shrinking motherfuckers!

Black: Breathe deeply, baby.
[places stethoscope on Nurse Jenny's chest]
Nurse: Daddy, you make my heart beat.
Black: Yeah, Dr. Dynamite can hear that. But I think you're running a temperature. Let me see if I can find a thermometer for you.
[unzips pants]
Doctor: What the-? I told you urine sample, Nurse Jenny.
[Nurse Jenny runs away]
Doctor: Black Dynamite, I mean, really?
Black: Hey man, you sent her in here with them titties. What did you expect? How's my x-ray.
Doctor: Well, no fragments. In and out. You're lucky, Black Dynamite. Three inches to the left and we wouldn't even be having this conversation.
Black: Three inches to the right, and it would've missed my black ass.
Doctor: Well, you need a new line of work. This is the second time this year.
Black: I know, I know.
Doctor: Why do I bother? There's no helping you.
Black: No, doc, you help me just fine. See you next time.

Black: [after throwing goon's eyes at Dr. Wu] You told him to keep an eye out for me!

Black: Say, Mama, you're gonna have to work on your delivery if you wanna take on Congressman James. The shame is, half these people don't know what y'all talking about, but at least they can put his to a beat.
Gloria: So what do you do to make a difference? Do you march? Do you vote? Oh, let me guess. You're one of those Tom Slick brothers that think you can get by on good looks, a wink and a smile, huh?
Black: I don't know about Tom Slick, but thank you for the compliments.
Gloria: That's not what I meant. Not that I think you have good looks- I mean, you know these guys with their...
Black: Winks and smiles?
Gloria: Yeah.
[Black Dynamite winks at Gloria]
Gloria: What about the smile?
Black: [not smiling] I am smiling.
[Gloria walks away]

Black: Lemme speak to the man in charge.
Militant: Sarcastically, I'm in charge.

Sholanda: My momma said my daddy's name was Black Dynamite.
Brickwilla: So did my momma!
Black: Err, uhh, hush up little girls. A lot of cats have that name.

Black: I should have known it was you all the time. I should have asked myself, 'Who's the man so wicked, so cruel, that he could serve smack to the orphanage, kill my brother Jimmy, and put out a drug to shrink black men's dicks?' Only one man. That's you, Tricky Dick! So I'm here to deliver you one presidential ass-whupping!
Richard: Black Dynamite, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for that...
[Nixon pulls his nunchucks out of a drawer and jumps on his desk]
Richard: Showtime, motherfucker! Fucking think you can fuck with me, Black Dynamite? Who the fuck would stop me, piece of shit?

Black: Now Aunt Billy, how many times have I told you not to call here and interrupt my Kung Fu!

Chief: [after being injected with a truth serum] You can't get me to talk..."Operation: Code Kansas"! Can't stop it, too late. "Operation: Code Kansas" is gonna fix all the niggas!
[laughs]
Chief: Yeah, you won't be so big and so bad anymore. "Code Kansas" is gonna fix you!
[laughs]
Chief: Just the niggas! Just the nig...
[Freezes in place]
Saheed: Damn, Smoke, I think you gave him too much of that shit.
Black: How long until it wears off?
[Gunsmoke shrugs]

Honey: Ain't nobody seen Pimpin' Jake for two days, and he ain't been by here with your money. And...
Black: I knew I forgot something. Tiny. Get Pimpin' Jake out of my trunk. Tell him the rest of my money by Wednesday or I'll make him stick himself. I'm sorry. Go on, Bee.

Black: First Lady, I'm sorry I pimp-slapped you into that china cabinet. I used excessive force. Oftentimes, I cross the line, but I try to do so in the name of what's right. Most of the time, the ends justifies the means. But in this case, I feel like I betrayed my own code of ethics. And for that, sugar, I apologize.
Patricia: But I shot at you. I tried to kill you, Black Dynamite.
Black: This is true, but you did not connect. You shot a plate. Had you connected, pimp-slapping you into that china cabinet might have been justified. But I feel I crossed the line. And for that, please accept my apology.
Patricia: I do. I do, it's just... oh, Black Dynamite, you're so righteous.
Black: This is also true. Because whenever there's injustice,
[stands up]
Black: wrongs to be...
[Gloria suddenly appears and embraces Black Dynamite]
Gloria: Oh, Black Dynamite!
Patricia: [Tugging Black Dynamite's pants] Go on, honey.
Black: [Pulls out his handgun and points it straight ahead] Because whenever there's injustice, wrongs to be righted,
[as Gloria sits down, holding Black Dynamite's left leg]
Black: innocents to be defended, Black Dynamite will be there, delivering ass-whuppings. and I will not hesitate to lay the hammer down on any clown that comes around.
[Pulls out his nunchucks]
Black: Because if they wanna fight, they best come see me, because I'm Black Dynamite.
[Pat Nixon proceeds to approach Black Dynamite and hold his right leg]

Black: All right. What's wrong, Honey Bee? I've known you too long. Now, if something's bothering you, why don't you lay it on me?
Honey: Black Dynamite, I got to go to the hospital. It's my little nephew Bucky. He OD'd.
Black: Where is Bucky and what has he had?
Honey: It's that new drug on the street. All the kids are falling prey to it. What we gonna do, Black Dynamite?
Black: I know what I'm gonna do.
[slaps his desk and stands up]
Black: I'm gonna fight. The only way I know how. Ever since I was a boy, all I knew was how to fight. Fight, fight, fight. And when I got tired, I would fight some more. And now that the Man has got our backs to the wall, I ain't gonna let him hurt the kids. I'm gonna take him down. I'm gonna take them all down.

Black: Scram. Scram! I said split! Shake the scene you turkeys! Get out of my house! I'll see you all tomorrow.

Militant: You know, when we get back home, I'm gonna retire from the revolution... start a family. Shows picture.
[holds up a small piece of paper]
Militant: That's Betty Jo. Yeah... right on, yeah. Buy a home in the country. Raise our own fruits and vegetables! Bake our own bread, you know what I mean? Bake our own...
[gets impaled by a Chinese spear]
Militant: Argh!
[Drops dead]
Black: Who saw that comin' -- uh, who saw where that came from?

Black: Bullhorn, no! At long last, our friendship bonded by the struggle against The Man has been brought to an end by kung-fu treachery!

Black: I'd like to take the credit, but dig, mama, there's no "i" in "revolutio...", in "team."

Black: [after having a flashback of being teased as an orphan] No! Not the orphans!

Black: Black Dynamite, that was the best loving I ever had.
White: Me too.
Asian: That goes triple for me.
Black: Shh. Mama, you're gonna wake up the rest of the bitches.
[Two more women are sleeping on the same bed]

Black: Yeah yeah, mama. Now you could hit the sheets or the streets, it don't make me no never mind. Now that's your bag baby, you can go, or you could come. Can you dig it?

Black: I'm declaring war on anyone who sells drugs to the community.
Chocolate: But Black Dynamite! *I* sell drugs to the community!

[Black Dynamite parks his car and enters his home. Inside, he stores his handgun on a bear statue wearing a holster before sitting down and reading a newspaper. Meanwhile, O'Leary and his men sneak into Black Dynamite's house from the back entrance towards the living room. They point their guns, only to see the bear statue sitting on the couch, wearing Black Dynamite's bathrobe. Black Dynamite appears on the other side of the room, pointing his gun at the agents]
Black: Freeze, turkeys!
O'Leary: I see you haven't lost your tough, B.D.
Black: O'Leary?
[Uncocks handgun]
O'Leary: The old 'pie in the windowsill' trick. I can't believe I fell for that. That was the same trick you used in 'Nam to save my ass. B.D. took our fatigues and put them on two dead gooks. I remember we circled back and turned the tables.
Black: I guess you forgot about the time you and Bravo company left my black ass for dead, huh? But I remember. I remember everything. I remember Vietnam like it was yesterday. I remember that village in Tainan that we cut down. It was a massacre. All the dead Chinamen we left in our tracks. I remember the faces, the children. This one child I'll never forget. Poor little bastard was still alive. His little Chinese legs were blown clean off! Still see his little shins & feet hanging from the ceiling fan across the hut. He was charred from his head down to his little Chinese knees. He tried to get up, but he fell over when what was left of his right leg broke off. As he laid there, flat on his face, he looked up at me. His little Chinese eyes burned right into my stomach, deep into my soul. He said something to me in Chinese like, 'Boo coo sow!', sounded like some cartoon shit. But I understood it to be a question that he was asking me. And I don't have to know how to speak Chinese to know what that question was. 'Why, Black Dynamite? Why?'
[Long pause]
O'Leary: We're a long way from 'Nam. Look at this place. It must have an eight-track player in every room. What's going on today is a smack problem of epic proportion. Corruption is running rampant and we don't know who to trust. We need you, Black Dynamite, now more than ever.
Black: I know I was the best CIA agent that the CIA ever had, but I thought I told you honkies from the CIA that Black Dynamite was out of the game.
O'Leary: You're never out of the game.
Black: I've known you for a long time. And there's something you're not telling me.
O'Leary: Okay. We heard about your brother's death. The last thing we need is you running through the streets creating a river of blood.
Black: Tell me who did it and I'll just leave a puddle.
O'Leary: We don't know who killed Jimmy. But I do know this. You step out of line, friendship or not, and I'm gonna take you down. Because in case you forgot, when you left the agency, you relinquished your license to kill.
Black: Well, you do what you have to. Just don't get in my way.

[Black Dynamite enters the Hip Pocket billiard hall, where Chicago Wind and his gang confront him]
Chicago: So you must be Black Dynamite.
Black: [Realizing that Cream Corn had warned Chicago Wind of his arrival] Cream Corn, you jive mother. Chicago Wind, I presume.
Chicago: Your presumption is correct, nigga. If you presumed that I killed your brother Jimmy, then you presume wrong. Not that it means shit to me. Either way, shit. I wish I'd had killed that nigga myself. Somebody else beat me to it.
Black: Is that so? Well, Chicago Wind, what do you know about this?
[Black Dynamite pulls the bullet casing from his pocket and throws it to Chicago Wind]
Chicago: Some heavy shit. but dig.
[Chicago Wind throws the bullet casing back to Black Dynamite]
Chicago: Let me explain something to you, supernigga. I don't answer questions. I ask them. Even if I did know who killed that brother of yours, what would make you think I'm gonna tell you? Get your black ass out of my joint before we beat you like a rented mule.
[Black Dynamite shakes his head in disapproval and walks away]
Thug: That's right, you jive-ass punk. Don't be coming to the Hip Pocket talking that shit, you dig? That's right, nigga. Don't ever, ever come back...
[Black Dynamite turns the open/closed sign in front of the hall to closed and shuts the metal gates before throwing a couple of thugs out the window and fighting the rest of the gang]

[Black Dynamite and his gang break into Gunsmoke's apartment and discover him in shock after seeing his penis shrunk]
Black: Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you a little dick! Should we kill him?
Bullhorn: [Pulls out his gun and points it at Gunsmoke] Man, do you want to live? I said, do you want to go on?
[Bullhorn shoots Gunsmoke to end his misery]
Bullhorn: Man, this time, these crackers have gone too far!

Black: Fiendish Doctor Wu, you done fucked up now!

Black: Ain't nothin' in the world get Black Dynamite more mad than some jive ass sucka dealin' smack to the kids!