The Best Bob Morales Quotes

Ritchie: Bob. Where's mom's new dress?
Bob: What new dress?
Ritchie: The one I asked you to buy her for Christmas.
Bob: Hey, you're the asshole with all the money, why don't you buy it yourself!

Bob: Come on Rosie, take a hit man! Put a little mota in our love life!

Ritchie: It's cool if you move in with me, man. But what about when the baby comes? Shouldn't you be with Rosie?
Bob: You know, my old man wasn't around when I was born. Why should I be?
[takes a swig of vodka and grimaces]

Bob: Look at this. It's Woody Woodpecker and Buzz Buzzard. Hey, this is the real thing. Man they make cartoons here.

Bob: [last line, in agony over his brother's death] RITCHIE!

Ted: [over the radio while the Valenzuela's listen] We interrupt this program to bring you this bulletin. Four persons, three identified as nationally famous rock and roll singers, died early today in a plane crash just five miles north of Clear Lake, Iowa. Buddy Holly, 22 of Lubbock, Texas. Ritchie Valens, 17 of Pacoima, California
Bob: What the shit!
Rosie: [Crying] Bob. Did you hear? Did you hear what the radio said about Ritchie?
Bob: Are you sure he said Ritchie?
Rosie: Oh my God. What about Connie?
[Bob runs off to tell his mother]
Rosie: Bob!

Ted: Your wife's pregnant and in the car with you?
Bob: [on the phone] She's in the car right now!
Ted: [pause] And what kind of car do you have?
Bob: [on the phone] A Rolls Royce!
[maniacal laughter]

Bob: [to Ritchie] You've been laid yet? I'm serious, I know what your problem is. Sperm pressure, it's scientific.

Bob: Look Rosie, you're not my wife, all right? Stop being such a drag. What the shit's eating you anyway?
Rosie: I'm pregnant.
[Bob stops pouring his drink and pauses]
Rosie: Well aren't you gonna say anything?
Bob: What's there to say? It's not my first. Or my last.

Bob: [to Connie] You always worry more about Ritchie? What about me? What about me? I know you don't give a goddamn about me. You had me turned in! You had me locked up!

[Bartender shuts the television]
Bob: Hey, what the hell! Man I was watching that! Put that back on!
Bartender: You've had enough for one afternoon, buddy.
Bob: Put it back on! That dude's my brother!
Bartender: Yeah and I'm your Irish uncle, too. Leave it off!

Connie: How could you do this to Ritchie!
Bob: To Ritchie? I did this to me, okay!
Rosie: That's my Bob, always thinking of others first.
Bob: Shut your goddamn mouth!
Ritchie: Hey man, don't take it out on Rosie, okay.
Bob: Ritchie, you don't understand man. You don't understand a goddamn thing!
[walking away for the others]
Bob: What do you think, the whole fuckin' world revolves around you!

Bob: I've had one sip of beer tonight and I have to admit it taste like piss to me. You want it?
Ritchie: Yeah. Thanks.
[takes a sip and then puts the beer down]
Ritchie: What's your problem, man?
Bob: Old Steve, boy. He always said you were gonna be somebody and I bought it, too. If that's the way Steve wanted it, that's the way it was going to be. Even after he told me, he wasnt my dad. Then once I knew the full score, I realized why he always treated you just a little bit better than me. I'll just hang around and take the leftovers, like a dog. That's how much I loved Steve. Like a goddamn dog.
Ritchie: Bob we don't have to talk about this right now.
Bob: Shit! No, I want to talk about this right now and you're gonna listen to me!
Ritchie: This is a crock of shit, man!
Bob: No man, he set you up to conquer the world and he didn't leave me shit!
Ritchie: Nobody told you to throw your life away, man! I'm only sorry I didn't say something about you being drunk half the time. You did it to yourself!
Bob: Listen to you, coming in here like you own the whole goddamn country. To me, you're always gonna be that little asshole who followed me around in the sticks.
Ritchie: Yeah, I followed you around, man. I followed you around 'cause I thought you were somebody... then!

Ritchie: Bob! Watch it! My guitar, man!
Bob: Sorry, dude. I didn't know that piece of junk was so important to you.
Ritchie: [smiling] Are you kidding? I even sleep with it.

Ritchie: This is like my high school prom.
Bob: Yeah. Except this prom puts out.

Ritchie: What's going on?
Connie: [painting posters] Show business, show business.
Bob: [posters look terrible] These look like shit, even a monkey can draw better then this.
Connie: [sarcastic] Oh Yeah.
Bob: [painting posters late at night] Should have kept my mouth shut.

Bob: Don't be such a dreamer, man.
Ritchie: My dreams are pure rock and roll.