100 Best Jericho Quotes

[to Eric]
Randy: You wanna live? Stand up and fight.

Eric: I'm telling you it's got to be the Midwest with the skyline I'm thinking Cincinnati.
[talking about the video on the TV at the bar]
Jake: I wish we could read the license plates.
Eric: Well let's make Cincinnati a question mark.

Jimmy: Ooh. You scared me. That's a good ghost!

Jake: If you or anybody comes near my family again, I will kill you.
Mitchell: [whispering] Now that's the Jake I know. Alright, now get up. I'm taking you to go see Jonah.

Eric: [Eric and Johnston are walking around a dilapidated house, Johnston begins to cough] Dad, are you okay?
Johnston: I'm fine, don't worry about me
[knocks on door]
Johnston: .
Johnston: [they continue walking and someone steps out in front of them, cocking a gun] Oh Oliver, would you stop that.
Old: Sorry Johnston, thought you were aliens. Were under attack, by aliens! Don't you know?
Johnston: Yes we do, that's why we're here. Do you have your ham radio?
Old: [grumbles] For you
[pauses]
Old: Fifty cents.
Eric: Oliver!
Old: Well I need my fifty cents.
Old: [Johnston pulls out a dollar and hands it to Oliver] Okay, I'll get your change.

Johnston: Most of you have no idea what to do or what's coming, some of you do. This isn't a fight about land or about this town. Its a fight for our very existence. Pray for each other; and while you're at it, pray for the men and women of New Bern and pray that God forgives us.

Gail: [sneaking money into Jake's pocket] Just stay one more day.
Jake: I've got to get back to San Diego by tomorrow. Mom, one more thing.
Gail: Hmm?
Jake: [hands her the money] You have clumsy hands.
Gail: I love you.

Gail: I'm glad you're home.
Jake: Yeah, we'll see.

Gail: Oh God, look at you. You're a mess.
Jake: I'm fine. Stop worrying about me.
Gail: Yeah, good luck with that.

Sheriff: [gathering in sheriff's office] Well I figure two teams, there only so many places they can be.
Gray: Well what about the parents?
[crowd of parents begins to get louder]
Johnston: Folks. Folks. Folks!
[crowd dies down]
Johnston: Look, I know that every part of you wants to just rush out there. I don't blame you. But as your friend I'm asking you to think about that. You're safe here. What if, god forbid, you go out there and you get stranded and your child comes back an orphan. You know the sheriff and his men, you know they'll find your kids, so please.

Johnston: [to Jake] One day, I know you're gonna become the man I know you can be. The man you were born to be. By God, that day's gonna be something to see.

Robert: [to Stanley] Hey, I need to borrow your tank.

Emily: [to Jonah] You wanted to talk. Let's talk.

Gracie: These are for you. I lost my head Stanley, I'm sorry.
Stanley: Thank you.

Johnston: We had all hoped this was an accident, but the unfortunate truth is there was another explosion in Atlanta.

Johnston: I'm gonna need a hobby.

Emily: How about you? You got somebody?
Jake: No.
Emily: I'm sorry.
Jake: No. No you're not. You love it.

Johnston: Quite a speech you made in there. I had no idea you were such a sentimental fool.
Jake: Mom wrote it.
Johnston: You think?

Mitchell: [about Gracie] Jonah said he killed her, but I didn't believe him.
Johnston: [Pointing to the crime scene] Jonah Prowse said he did this?

Robert: [to Jake] Hey don't take this the wrong way but... you look like crap.

[Emily has been hit by a powerline and is unconscious]
Lucas: Is she gonna wake up?
[firmly]
Heather: Yes.
Lucas: With super powers?
[pause]
Heather: Probly not.

Mimi: The closest I ever got to the outdoors was the Ralph Lauren section at Neiman Marcus.
Stanley: There you go, bargain hunting. Same thing, but with a gun.
Mimi: Bargains? At Neimans?
[laughs]
Mimi: Sometimes, I forget that the biggest designer in your closet is Wrangler.

Jake: [Addressing Major Beck with hands up] I'm the only one to blame. The only one, so my terms are simple: my surrender for the amnesty of the other Rangers.

Jake: Any idea of what you're doing?
Robert: Not a clue!
Jake: Thanks for your help.
Robert: This is our home too.

Jake: I go away for a few years and the town goes to hell.

Johnston: Gail, who is in charge here, you or me?
Gail: You do not want to play that game.

Gail: If you'd have favored your father a little less and your dinky Uncle Dennis a little more, you'd have made a hell of a jockey. Talk to me. I'm tired of listening to my own voice.

Gail: This house is too small for big secrets.

Major: [Addressing Jake and Constantino] Sit down! I'm Major Beck, 10th Mountain Division. Colonel Hoffman asked me to sort out what the hell happened here. I'm in the process of taking reports. Sounds like you two are the ringleaders.

Jake: We were both born on third base, quit pretending you hit a triple.

Jake: Nuts!

Jake: Mallow cups.
[snaps fingers]
Jake: That's what they were called.
Eric: God I loved those.
Jake: They were the best. I always got so much more candy than you remember?
Eric: Cause you cheated! You'd trick or treat the whole neighborhood in one costume and then you'd go do it again in another.

Jonah: I want to talk to Emily.
Jake: She doesn't want to see you.
Jonah: She blames me for Chris's death. Things might be different if she knew whose fault it really was.
Jake: I didn't send him on that job, all right, you did. I tried to talk him out of it.
Jonah: He needed a lookout; someone to watch his back. You left him alone
Jake: A lookout? He needed a father.
Jonah: All right. Maybe it is time Emily learns the truth about what you did.
Jake: I told her. I told her, I told her everything.
Jonah: Did she forgive you?
Jake: No.
Jonah: Neither do I. Get her to see me, or I'll do business wherever the hell I please.
Jake: I can't.
Jonah: Then I guess we don't have a deal.

Robert: We can not have photos up, it might raise questions about us as a family. I am not in this. Get rid of them!

Gray: [Speaking in the office to Roger] It's a mathematical problem. We've got your friends plus another 50 who migrated here. That's too many people and not enough food.
Jake: We'll just have to figure out how to make what we have last.

Jake: It's like everyone checks in here at the main tent. They try and match buyers and sellers. They gave me three possibilities of sellers that might have the part for the windmill.
Dale: It's like eBay.
[the group walks by a screaming man being whipped by a guard]
Heather: Not like eBay.

Gail: We'll be back before morning. Do you mind keeping an eye on things here?
Johnston: What?
Gail: You were cooling your thermometer in that glass of water. Weren't you?
Johnston: No I wasn't. Fine, so what if I was, I'm tired of being sick.
Gail: You have a temperature of 350 degrees. You are going to rest. You are going to take the pills that April gave you. You are going to admire this ridiculous pumpkin with me and then we are going to try and eat the pumpkin together because we use every part of the buffalo in this house. Is that understood?
Johnston: Most of it.

Johnston: Hey, Shep? You said earlier that you had heard that speech before. Ever ask yourself why I say it? 'Cause I happen to trust you people. 'Cause I love my town. Now, something happened in Denver, in Atlanta, and it could be that we wake up and find out that's where it stopped. But, until we know, are we going to use our imaginations to solve problems or to cause them? Now, we can get the power back on. We can find out how big this thing is. If we have to we can fight. We can fight anybody, we can fight all enemies. The only way that's going to happen is if we work together. Now, go on home. We'll meet tomorrow at the town hall. And folks, don't you break my heart again.

Johnston: I get it. The man has a satellite, doesn't want anyone to know.
Jake: Yeah, but...
Johnston: I am about to go to war with New Bern, Kansas, the home of the nearest CostCo. Today is already just about as weird as I can handle. I'm not askin' any more questions.

Stanley: Are you okay?
Mimi: Huh, if you call radiation poisoning "okay".
Stanley: Were you out in the rain, too?
Mimi: Heavens no! I touched a building when we came out of the shelter.
Stanley: Oh.
Mimi: Look, you can stop pretending.
Stanley: What do you mean?
Mimi: I audited your farm. Why do you care?
Stanley: Maybe I'm a nicer person than you.
Mimi: Right. Were you in the rain?
Stanley: Yeah, for about twenty minutes.
Mimi: Well, you look pretty good.
Stanley: Thanks. You know, try to work out.
[Mimi laughs]
Stanley: Look, um, you know I think I got the worst of it, so as long as I'm okay, you should be fine.
Mimi: You're really sweet. And you still owe the IRS $180,000.
Stanley: Yeah, I know.

Stanley: Yeah... I'm really sick of getting poked with needles every ten minutes. They'll be really sorry when my spider powers kick in.
[makes a goofy face]
Jake: Well, you're still an idiot, so that's a good sign.
Stanley: [laughs] Yeah.

Gail: Johnston!
Johnston: What?
Gail: Dale Turners mother died tonight in another explosion, Atlanta...
Johnston: Oh my God!

Stanley: Oh, I can't believe it. Jake Green. How you doing man? When did you get back to town?
Jake: Just now. Is that Bonnie?
[Bonnie waves at Jake, Jake signs to Bonnie]
Jake: You grew up.
Stanley: Well, wait a minute, where the hell have you been?
Jake: You know, around.
Stanley: Jake, no one's been around for five years.
Jake: The Army. I've been in the Army.
Stanley: Good for you.

Gray: [Speaking to Jake in Cheyenne] This convention is a sham, and when it's done, I, I don't think there's anything this government is not going to have the power to do in the name of national security.

Gail: You said you need to harvest today. We're here to help, no strings attached.

Eric: [Speaking at a town meeting to Dale] We will find you another way to get into town. It's going to be okay.

Stanley: [referring to the stolen pesticides] I can't believe this is what we've come to.
Mimi: We don't have a choice, it's every man for himself, now.

Bill: Ravenwood? What the hell is that?
Jake: It's a private security firm. They hire thugs and Army dropouts. They give 'em big guns and send them out to play soldier.

Robert: [On the cellphone] Sarah, the schedule's changed. It's happening tomorrow during the President's address. I'll be there as soon as I can, but there's something I need to take care of. You get everything together and I'll meet you back as soon as I can.
Sarah: Where are you going?
Robert: To get my kids.

Johnston: [Speaking in the office to Gray] Did you hear him? Constantino wants a bigger fight. He's not gonna have my sons as human shields.

Gail: Where's Emily?
Jake: She's not going.
Gail: Good. Your not going alone are you?
Jake: Yee. Don't give me that look.
Gail: What look?
Jake: You know what look, that look.
Gail: Hey, I do this 72 hundred times, I've watched you drive away not knowing if you were coming home, I've earned a look.
Jake: I'm coming back.

Robert: You might want to get some black spray paint, you know, cover that.
[points at the word "Jericho" on the police car]
Robert: Look, I know that you're telling people that is was an accident, an I hope it was, but if it was an attack, Sheriff and there's chaos out there, you might not want the wrong people to know that Jericho is still here.
Sheriff: With all do respect Mr. Hawkins, this is no St. Louis.
[walks off]

Dale: Hey, did you hear?
Skylar: Hear what?
Dale: Mr. Anderson's back, he says New York is still there.
Skylar: New York? My parents.
Dale: They might be okay.
Skylar: My parents.
[cries and hugs Dale]

Dale: That's a dollar 69.
Allison: Ok.
Dale: I got the last bag of corn chips.
Skylar: I'll give you $20 for them!

Eric: Look, a bad marriage doesn't get better because you add a kid.
Johnston: No. No, it doesn't, but you are going to have to stop thinking about yourself first. You give up that right when you bring a child into this world.

Stanley: You have a family back home?
Mimi: I have fish.
Stanley: I'm sure they really miss you.

Stanley: Not now, Mimi.
Mimi: Like hell right now, Cornhusker.
Stanley: Cornhuskers are from Nebraska, I'm a Jayhawk... What? What?
Mimi: You drive me so crazy and you know that I can't stay here for ever but, the truth is I can't live without you, either.
Stanley: Really?
Mimi: Yes, really.

Jake: Did you ask Mom?
Johnston: Son, I'm 59 years old, I was mayor of this town since the Carter administration, I'm a retired US Army Ranger, and a combat veteran. Of course I asked your mother.

Jonah: It's a new split. I get all the weapons, the food, the fuel, the guns... everything.
Jake: And what do we get?
Jonah: You get to have bombs not falling on your head.

Heather: I don't think this is such a good idea.
Jake: No choice.
Heather: Well, then, at least let me do some work on the car.
Jake: There's no time, I have to go now. Wha-wait, you said it was sturdy.
Heather: Well sturdy yeah but what if you need to out run something?
Jake: Why, how fast will it go?
Heather: I don't know, 30, maybe 40 miles an hour- best case, down hill- and not for very long. See this is what I'm saying. Maybe you should go on horseback.
Jake: A horse is slower than that.
Heather: A horse is less likely to explode.
Jake: I'll take my chances.
Heather: Ok, well then at least open her up easy, make sure you have enough car left in case you need to ask for a lot in a hurry. And remember, the gas tank on the thing is on the left hand side, so if somebody decides to start *shooting* at you, make sure it's not on that side.
Jake: Ok, anything else?
[she looks worriedly at him, then kisses him]
Heather: Come back in one piece.
[he chuckles]
Jake: I will, I promise.
[pause. She still has her arms around him]
Heather: I-I thought you were gonna go.
Jake: I'm waiting on Eric.
Heather: Oh.
[she pulls away]
Heather: Um, watch out for giant irradiated ants out there.
[he laughs]
Jake: Always do.
[uncomfortably]
Heather: Ooook.
[she leaves while Jake stares after her]

Johnston: Right now, hire as many deputies as you can and use them to help get gas, the clinic's running low.

Emily: Where have you been?
Jake: The navy.
[pause]
Jake: Oh why do I even bother?
Emily: Seriously, where have you been?

Jake: Emily
Emily: Why are you talking to him?
Jake: It's ok. It doesn't have anything to do with you.
Emily: He's my father, it has everything to do with me.

Eric: Uhh what the hell. Is that what we're driving?
Jake: Yeah, I mean it's not actually a... Yeah.

Mimi: In this crazy world, we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow and I don't wanna leave anything unsaid, so I'm just going to say it, okay? So here I go...
Stanley: I've loved you since the first day I saw you at Bailey's.
Mimi: You said it you said it first. No one's ever said it first to me before.
Stanley: I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, plus I can hold it over you for the rest of our lives.
[kisses Mimi]
Mimi: I love you Stanley Richmond.
Stanley: But I said it first.
[kisses Mimi]

Mimi: I found some stale cornflakes in the pantry and since no one else seemed to be eating them...
Stanley: Oh well knock yourself out here you want a little milk with those?
[pours some milk into her bowl from the pale he just brought in]
Stanley: There ya go.
Mimi: [taking a bite] Ew. It's still warm.
Stanley: Yeah it was even warmer when it was in the cow ten minutes ago.
Mimi: And that will do it for the cornflakes. You did that on purpose didn't you?
Stanley: Yes I did.

Emily: Jake, you came back for us.
Jake: [steps closer] I came back for some of you.

Robert: Guns? Guns are easy.

Mimi: [Mimi rests her hand on a column, and when she lifts it, her hand is covered in black] What's this black stuff?
Mary: That used to be Denver.

Johnston: Women are from Venus; men are wrong.

Jake: Hello, Jonah.
Jonah: Jake. Been a long time.

Johnston: Sheriff, Chief. Damage? Fire? Buildings?
Sheriff: Nothing Mr. Mayor, the town's fine.
Johnston: Let us hope you're right.

Bonnie: Stanley!
[runs to Stanley]
Stanley: Thank God!
Jake: No, hey, hey, no!
[pulls Bonnie back]
Jake: Stanley don't touch her. The rain may be radioactive.

Skylar: Dale, why are they keeping you here? What did you do?
Jake: I'm just talking to him.
Skylar: Well you can't talk to him with out an attorney.
Jake: I'm not a cop.
Skylar: I know the machines are down but you have to take this anyway.
[offers credit card]

Robert: Excuse me, Sheriff, Robert Hawkins.
Sheriff: Well it's good to meet you Mr. Hawkins but as you can see, we have got outs hands full.
Robert: Could you use an extra man?
Sheriff: No civilians, mayor's orders.
Robert: Well I use to be a cop, St. Louis.
Sheriff: Do know the roads around here?
Robert: No, I just moved to town.
Sheriff: Then I'm afraid you'll just slow us down, I'm sorry.

Gray: The four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Jake: Let's hope not.

Major: [Speaking to Jake] And you have my word. Tomorrow I'm going to get into this, but for tonight I'm trusting that you can keep things under control here. That means Goetz is off limits: no threats, no retribution, no exceptions. Do you understand?

Gail: You know I keep thinking about when we were kids and how they used to make us practice hiding under our desks in case of an atomic bomb.
Johnston: Yeah. Duck and cover.
Gail: That's the first thing I thought of when I saw that mushroom cloud. Did they have enough time to hide under their desks? It's pretty stupid huh.

Chris: [Speaking to Stanley and Mimi after having arrived by helicopter] President Tomarchio wants to address the nation today from, uh, right here on your front porch.

Darcy: [Speaking to Robert] Jimmy came back to work. He saw the picture of Sarah Mason and he told Beck that you were connected to her.

Mimi: [to the chicken] So it's come to this. I want you to know that this is nothing to do with you personally. I'm sure you're wonderful. But, let's be honest here. You're the one that lays the fewest eggs and I distinctly told all of you that this was going to happen. I believe I made myself perfectly clear in that regard.
Mimi: Here's my concern. I've heard stories about how you're going to react to this and if see half of you running around, well I just know that I'm going to freak out. So if you could do your best to minimize that part of it, well I'd just really appreciate it.

Heather: Mind if I pitch in?
Jake: Do you know how to strip wires?
Heather: Ever since junior high.
[he stares at her]
Heather: Yeah, I was that popular.

Skylar: Please tell me that's diet.
Dale: Cream soda.
Skylar: There used to be a whole case of diet here! Gracie promised that she would hold on to it for me.
Gracie: Not to worry dear. I tucked it away when we agreed on the price.

Jake: About the weapons: You had this the whole time and you didn't say anything?
Robert: I never thought I was gonna call this town my home. Let's get 'em loaded up

[to Stanley]
Mimi: We're not sharing the chocolate!

Major: I believe this government is corrupt at its core. Its actions are criminal, and I no longer recognize their right to lead.

Allison: [in reference to Jake] Is he a good man or a bad man?
Robert: Baby, there is no such thing.

Jake: I can talk to Jonah.
Gray: You can talk to Jonah? Find him - ...
Jake: He lived up to his end of the deal.
Gray: And why the hell are you protecting this guy?
Jake: I'm protecting this town. He can get things we're gonna need.
Gray: What can he get?
Jake: He can get food; he can get gas, he can get ammo. Could you get that stuff if we needed it tomorrow? Could you? 'Cause he can. We'll do this my way now.
[takes gun away from Gray]

Skylar: Dale... Dale stop. Please. Stay here. It's not safe out there. Please stay here.

Johnston: In my office. Now.
[punches Gray Anderson]
Johnston: Right now these people need our leadership. I will not have you tearing this town apart. And when all this is over, if you and I are still alive, you investigate your ass off. In the meantime, if I hear anymore talk like that out of you, you and I are gonna have a problem. Do we understand each other?
Jake: Going out is more important then ever, alright? If this country is at war we need to know it!

Dale: Why are you such a jerk when you're with your friends?
Lisa: Did I interrupt a lovers' spat?
Skylar: Stop it Lisa!
Lisa: You know what, I'm gonna go home. I only came here because you begged me to.
Skylar: Just... go home.

Emily: Jake, hey, you're a good man for trying to help someone you didn't even know.

Gracie: What about you Jake? Where've you been keeping yourself?
Jake: [leans towards her secretively] I've been playing minor league baseball.
Gracie: Oh. Is that a fact?

Maggie: So... you're really not going to tell me what happened?
Jake: Doc says frostbite.
Maggie: Uh huh. Doctor also say who kicked your ass?
Jake: [chuckles] Someone ran us off the road. Most of it's a blur. Just tried to stay alive, you know?
Maggie: I do.

Mimi: Oh my god I wish I prayed!

Mimi: You know, this is crazy. I told you that I can't hunt. Now you want me to kill Bambi.

Robert: Who is your dad?
Samuel: You.
Robert: Who loves you more than anything in the world?
Samuel: You?
Robert: And Sam, who is always gonna take care of you?
Samuel: Mommy.

Jake: That's my car.
Jonah: You left it out there.
Jake: Yeah but it was destroyed.
Jonah: Lovingly restored. I told you there was a lot of good stuff on the roads. This one I didn't even have to fight for. Besides, she was mine first.

Eric: I don't know if I told you this, but my father is impervious to mere germs.
April: Oh really?
Johnston: Yeah, I believe that was the quote.
Gail: First inauguration, I have it all on video.
Johnston: It was a joke, I was trying to... April, don't ever make a mistake, this family will never let you forget it!

Robert: You can't just ride into New Bern and start breaking china.