The Best Gail Green Quotes

Eric: I don't know if I told you this, but my father is impervious to mere germs.
April: Oh really?
Johnston: Yeah, I believe that was the quote.
Gail: First inauguration, I have it all on video.
Johnston: It was a joke, I was trying to... April, don't ever make a mistake, this family will never let you forget it!

Gail: If you'd have favored your father a little less and your dinky Uncle Dennis a little more, you'd have made a hell of a jockey. Talk to me. I'm tired of listening to my own voice.

Gail: Oh God, look at you. You're a mess.
Jake: I'm fine. Stop worrying about me.
Gail: Yeah, good luck with that.

Gail: We'll be back before morning. Do you mind keeping an eye on things here?
Johnston: What?
Gail: You were cooling your thermometer in that glass of water. Weren't you?
Johnston: No I wasn't. Fine, so what if I was, I'm tired of being sick.
Gail: You have a temperature of 350 degrees. You are going to rest. You are going to take the pills that April gave you. You are going to admire this ridiculous pumpkin with me and then we are going to try and eat the pumpkin together because we use every part of the buffalo in this house. Is that understood?
Johnston: Most of it.

Gail: [sneaking money into Jake's pocket] Just stay one more day.
Jake: I've got to get back to San Diego by tomorrow. Mom, one more thing.
Gail: Hmm?
Jake: [hands her the money] You have clumsy hands.
Gail: I love you.

Johnston: Gail, who is in charge here, you or me?
Gail: You do not want to play that game.

Gail: Where's Emily?
Jake: She's not going.
Gail: Good. Your not going alone are you?
Jake: Yee. Don't give me that look.
Gail: What look?
Jake: You know what look, that look.
Gail: Hey, I do this 72 hundred times, I've watched you drive away not knowing if you were coming home, I've earned a look.
Jake: I'm coming back.

Gail: I'm glad you're home.
Jake: Yeah, we'll see.

Gail: This house is too small for big secrets.

Gail: You said you need to harvest today. We're here to help, no strings attached.

Gail: Johnston!
Johnston: What?
Gail: Dale Turners mother died tonight in another explosion, Atlanta...
Johnston: Oh my God!

Gail: You know I keep thinking about when we were kids and how they used to make us practice hiding under our desks in case of an atomic bomb.
Johnston: Yeah. Duck and cover.
Gail: That's the first thing I thought of when I saw that mushroom cloud. Did they have enough time to hide under their desks? It's pretty stupid huh.

Johnston: I can't just sit around here all day. We've got to find the sheriff and his men; we've got to get the power back on.
Gail: Okay, now you're going to stay here as long as it takes. Now, don't make me take your pants with me.
Johnston: I can run this town without my pants.
Gail: It wouldn't be the first time.