The Best Candy Quotes

Don: Owning a bar is supposed to be fun. I shouldn't be doing grunt work. God! My life is the worst.
Candy: We could switch, I'll run the bar, you could be the zombie prostitute.

Don: Get this through your head. Blaine is King Kong and the rest of us are merely Skull Island natives. Don't ask why. Just go tell the girls that Twofer Tuesdays is a real thing decreed by the mighty Kong.
Candy: Remember, Don E, "'twas Beauty killed the Beast".
Don: Yeah, well, there are worse ways to go.

Candy: You know what my idea for a zombie brothel name would be?
Don: Hmm?
Candy: Cold Cocks.
Don: [Not getting it] Why, because of all the fights?