The Best Clyde Quotes

Wreck: Sometimes I think, man, it sure must be nice being the good guy.
[Bad-Anon members applaud]
Clyde: Nice share, Ralph. We've all felt what you're feeling and we've come to terms with it.
Wreck: Really?
Zangief: Right here. I'm Zangief, I'm bad guy.
Bad: Hi Zangief.
Zangief: I relate to you, Ralph. When I hit bottom, I was crushing man's skull like sparrow's egg, between my thighs... and I think, why you have to be so bad, Zangief? Why can't you be more like good guy? Then I have moment of clarity... if Zangief is good guy, who will crush man's skull like sparrow's eggs between thighs? And I say, Zangief you are bad guy, but this does not mean you are *bad* guy.
[Bad-Anon members agree]
Wreck: Right... I'm sorry, you lost me there.
Zombie: Zombie! Bad guy!
Wreck: Hi Zombie.
Zombie: Zangief saying labels not make you happy. Good, bad, nggghhhh... you must love you.
Cyborg: Yeah!
[Performs a Heart-rip Fatality on Zombie]
Cyborg: Inside here!

Clyde: Question, Ralph. We've been asking you to Bad-Anon for years now, and tonight you finally show up. Why is that?
Wreck: I dunno, I just felt like coming. I mean, I suppose it has something to do with the fact that uh... well, today's the 30th anniversary of my game.
Saitine: Happy anniversary, Ralph.
Wreck: Thanks Satan.
Saitine: Uh, it's "Saitine".
Wreck: Got it. But here's the thing... I don't wanna be the bad guy anymore.
[the Bad-Anon members gasp]
Cyborg: You can't mess with the program, Ralph!
M. Bison: You're not going Turbo, are you?
Wreck: Turbo? No, I'm not going Turbo! Common guys! Is it "Turbo" to want a friend? Or a medal? Or a piece of pie every once and awhile? Is it "Turbo" to want more out of life?
Zombie: Yes.
Clyde: Ralph, Ralph, we get it. But we can't change who we are. The sooner you accept that, the better off your game and your life will be.
Zangief: Hey, one game at a time, Ralph.
Clyde: Now let's close out the with Bad Guy affirmation.
Clyde,39526: I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be then me.