The Best Dermot Crowley Quotes

DCI: Well, there's this thing. Cotard's Syndrome, okay? It's a delusional mental illness and the patient thinks that he's dead and decomposing.
DSU: And the cannibalism? That's a symptom?
DCI: No, not usually. I mean, I'm making a... a leap. Well, it's a small leap... it's more of a hop, really.

DSU: I know men like you the way you know men like me, and I know you wouldn't have done this if you believed there was the least chance of it coming back on you. Well, guess what: it's come back on you like the Hand of God, and the next words from your mouth will determine the weight and velocity of the staggering tonnage of shit that's about to plummet onto your head.

DCI: So, what's up with the website?
DS: Goes live in two hours.
DCI: Well, can't we just pull it down or trace it to the source or whatever you do with websites?
DSU: Apparently now it's been posted from Uzbekistan, or Kasakhstan... one of the 'Stans.

DSU: [into phone, from police headquarters] Benny, I need you here.
Benny: [playing video game with Errol at home] I'm sorry Boss, I think I've caught that norovirus. I've basically been up all night turning myself inside out.
DSU: I don't care if you've shit out your own liver on Oxford Street - I need you here *now*.

DSU: [speaking across the table from Ronald Bryson] I know men like you the way you know men like me, and I know you wouldn't have done this if you believed there was the least chance of it coming back on you. Well, guess what. It's come back on you like the Hand of God, and the next words from your mouth will determine the weight and velocity of the staggering tonnage of shit that's about to plummet onto your head.